The Boy of Summer
by lastamaranth
Summary: Alt universe Asucaga. Mature themes and language. Story about imperfection and redemption. After a rough breakup, Cagalli is left battling inner demons and doubt. Can she overcome these troubles to find true love? If so, there's no better time than summer vacation at the lake! Feedback welcome, no flames please. My first fanfic!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"It is with great pleasure that I present to you parents, faculty, and honored guests...the Class of 2012!"

The words of the dean of her university went in one ear and out another. Cagalli Yula Autha had other things on her mind. _How could he do that to me?_ She thought to herself as a rain of graduation caps fell around her. _With another woman…the day before graduation no less. I trusted him. I loved him. God knows I would have given him everything, even that. _She looked at her feet, strengthening the walls around her heart, reflecting on that moment...

"Alex, what the FUCK are you doing? And who is this bitch?" Cagalli was screaming. Her eyes were clouding with tears; blood pounded in her head in a rage. She felt her body burning with anger, waiting to hear how her good for nothing boyfriend (well, ex-boyfriend) would answer her.

"This 'bitch' is Flay, and unlike you, she's giving me what I wa-" He didn't have time to finish, not that it mattered to him. Cagalli turned and ran, tears streaming down her face. The image of her boyfriend balls deep in the redhead was too much to bear.

…If there was one lesson college had taught her, it was that loving was dangerous and only led to pain. For two years she had been with Alex, her first serious boyfriend. Sure there were various crushes in freshman and sophomore year, but Alex, she thought, was the real deal. He was kind to her, gentle, and tolerated her stubborn nature to an extent that might have driven others mad. Cagalli never really felt she needed to change, and he never forced her to. To everyone else, their relationship was perfect. The fiery and headstrong; yet innocent blonde had finally found someone to complement her. But as with most things, looks can be deceiving. At some point, Alex had unilaterally decided he wanted out if Cagalli wasn't going to sleep with him. Unable to tell Cagalli in person, he decided to cheat on her instead. It was twisted logic at its finest, but it didn't ease the pain one bit. Ironically enough, Cagalli had decided a week before graduation that it was time, time for her to truly become a woman. She wanted to open herself to a man as she had never done so before: physically and emotionally. Sure, she and Alex had fooled around before, but never anything serious. As graduation approached, her feelings finally crystallized into determination. She wanted Alex to be her first; it was to be his graduation present. Instead her dreams lay shattered, throwing her into turmoil on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life. Instead of reveling in her academic achievements (and a budding sex life), she found herself fighting a broken heart. Walking out of the stadium, she headed back to her apartment alone. _Mom…I need you now._ _Why did you have to go?_ She closed and locked the door to her room, grabbing a framed picture from her desk. In the dark, her tears began to fall and pooled on the glass-covered image of a beautiful brown-haired woman holding a blonde baby. _Mom, how could you leave me alone!_

Cagalli's mother died when she was twelve, leaving her alone with her father, Izumi Autha, head of the ORB Corporation. Her untimely passing hit both father and daughter equally hard. Cagalli had lost the one person she could open up to and confide in (her father was completely useless when it came to "girl talk"). Izumi had lost his grounding. He lost the love of his life that kept him focused on what was truly valuable, his family. In the following years, fueled by grief, Mr. Autha poured his heart and soul into his company. The results were…admirable. By the time Cagalli left for college, the ORB Corporation had grown from a regional supplier of healthcare products and equipment to become one of the largest multinational healthcare firms on the planet. The Autha family reaped the rewards, but the cost of such wealth was immense. With her mother gone and her father absent, Cagalli had lost all guidance at the most pivotal time in her life, her teenage years. She had a hard time making friends and was bullied throughout school. Left to emotionally fend for herself, she responded in the only way she could. She put up various walls and defenses to keep her safe. She began acting aloof and cold to the few people who approached her with good intentions, expecting them to turn on her. She got top marks in her classes for the sole purpose of looking down on those who couldn't achieve what she had. She became untouchable. Who would even want to hang around her anyways? No sense is striking up a conversation if you're going to be reminded of your own shortcomings, no matter how pretty her short blonde hair and amber eyes may have been. Cagalli graduated first in her class, bound for an Ivy League university and very, very alone.

Cagalli had planned on getting through college in much the same way as high school: alone and at the top. She would have accomplished that feat, had it not been for a certain pair of girls: Lacus Cline and Miriallia Haw. These two were as eclectic a pair as you would ever meet. Lacus was a musician and a singer, Miriallia was an aspiring engineer. They were acquainted during high school and their friendship became strong over the summer after they discovered they would be the only two attending their university from their school. Despite their disparate interests, they matched well. Lacus made sure Miriallia saw the world outside of her lab, and Mir made sure Lacus was able to keep her grades up despite the parties and performing arts groups she had joined. It was a perfect complement. So good in fact, that most college boys were scared to ask them out, mistaking their close friendship for a relationship. The idea of being turned down for another woman was too mortifying (the occasional drunken, open-mouthed kiss didn't help their case either).

The two had met Cagalli during new student orientation their freshman year. They had taken a walk to escape the loud music. They found Cagalli sipping punch and eating alone on a bench outside the museum where the rest of the freshman class was being treated to a small party and a free showing of the medieval art wing. They sat on either side of her, and despite Cagalli's best efforts, they would not leave. As soon as Cagalli told them (after much resistance) that she was living in the same dorm on campus, running was useless. For whatever reason, these two crazy girls seemed determined to be her friend. She still had enough sense to realize this was a good thing. Her social defenses weren't absolute. It took her a while to admit it to anyone, but Cagalli was elated to finally have not just one, but two friends. Slowly, but surely, the pink haired princess and the nerdy brunette brought Cagalli out of her shell. By the end of freshman year she actually looked forward to Friday night parties. By the end of sophomore year, she had secretly taken a liking to Alex. After much summertime urging by Lacus and Miriallia, she asked him out at the beginning of junior year. From there, as they say, the rest is history. Cagalli opened herself up, and just like she thought would happen, the person closest to her turned on her. At least she still had her friends.

"Miri, we have to do something…this is getting out of hand." Lacus whispered to her brunette roommate. "It's been a week and she still hasn't talked to anyone about Alex. I'm beginning to feel like this is unhealthy." Cagalli was in the bathroom again. She tried so hard to remain quiet, but sorrow isn't something easily hidden from your best friends. They could still hear her teary sobs. A pained expression played across Lacus' dark blue eyes. Being Cagalli's roommates, she and Mir were witnessing her depression firsthand. Miriallia answered the pink haired girl in an equally hushed tone. "I couldn't agree more. Everywhere we go, everything we do, somehow reminds her of Alex; but she won't say anything. It wouldn't be so tough if she would just accept it and talk with us to get it off her chest, but you know her. Of course she insists nothing's wrong and that she's over it. Anyone can see that's not the case. And to be quite honest, if she were telling the truth about being over something like that so soon, that would worry me even more. I guess she just doesn't like being seen as weak. Even in front of us after all this time. I worry for her." The two pondered the situation for a few minutes with grimaces on their faces, after which Lacus spoke again. "Well, none of us have any obligations for the summer; I think we need to take her away from all of this. Make sure nothing can remind her of Alex for a while. Somewhere us girls can be safe from any male influence if we so choose. How about Lake Archangel?"

Miriallia replied in an excited but cautionary tone. "Wow, if we could pull that off, it would be perfect! A cabin to ourselves on the lakefront, and we wouldn't have to go into town or to the beach unless we wanted to. Knowing the two of us, I'm sure we'll want to get our beach party on. Hopefully Cagalli will come around eventually. But how could we get the money to go up there? It's not like those cabins rent cheap. That's prime real estate during summer. We may have time off, but we are still college students with college wages." The two fell silent thinking about the grand, blue lake shrouded in pine trees: Lake Archangel; wishing someone else could help them. That was unlikely. Unless…

"Miri, I have an idea!" Lacus said a bit louder than she probably should have, as a choked sob came from the bathroom. Their cover blown, the two girls retreated quietly to their room which was, fortunately, farther from the bathroom than Cagalli's single. She wouldn't have to pass them on the way back from her crying, which would likely be soon given Cagalli knew she was no longer alone. "Well, now that she knows we were eavesdropping on her, what's this wonderful idea you just had?" Miriallia asked Lacus as they flopped down on her bed with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Lacus looked her dead in the eyes. "We call him."

"Who?" Miriallia thought for a split second. Her eyes suddenly widened. " Oh no, Lacus, you know what she would say!"

"How else would we get that kind of money? There's no other way Mir. And it's not like we're going to tell her."

"Well, if you're calling me Mir I guess you're serious then. Do you really think he will go for it? More importantly, do you think she will believe that we just 'found' thousands of dollars lying around?"

"He wasn't at her graduation and probably doesn't even know what happened between her and Alex. If she won't talk to us, she definitely won't talk to him. He will feel terrible, and we're going to take advantage of that. You've seen how he gets when he wants to make Cagalli happy."

"Lacus, that's a pretty awful plan coming from you. Exploiting the head of the Orb Corporation?" Miriallia had a downright worried expression on her face now.

"I know, Miri, believe me I know." Lacus put her hand on Mir's. "But now, Cagalli needs our help. We have to do this…for her."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. God that boy makes me so MAD!" Mir fumed as she grasped Lacus' hand a little harder than she should have. The pressure brought the contact to both girls' attentions and they quickly withdrew, blushing, but returning quickly to the task at hand. "OK Lacus, I'll go try to sneak into Cagalli's room to get her dad's phone number, but you're on point for this one." Miriallia left the room quickly, leaving Lacus to contemplate her hand that so recently felt Mir's touch. _Oh man, all this talk of relationships and being alone is getting me emotional and crazy. I just feel so safe when Miri is around. I wonder if she… No! No. Of course not. She was hooking up with that other guy a little while ago. And it's not like I hate men either but she just-_ Lacus' internal monologue was interrupted by Mir streaking back into their room.

"Just made it. Man that was close. She looked so sad. Let's go make cookies after this and try to get her in on it." Miriallia gave Lacus another concerned look. This situation was going to give them all gray hair before long.

"I agree, but first things first." Lacus said as she dialed a number on her phone. "Hello? Mr. Autha? Yes, this is Cagalli's friend Lacus. There's something I was hoping to discuss with you. It's about Cagalli…and Alex."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"WHAT? Archangel?" Cagalli was rather vocal in expressing her disbelief when her roommates told her their daring summer plan. Miriallia and Lacus were grinning ear to ear. "Yeah! It's gonna be great!" Lacus was ecstatic. "We can take boats out on the lake, go to the beach, stay up late and look at the stars, hit on bo- ouch!" Miriallia had given her a not so discrete elbow to the ribs. Boys were still a taboo topic in the apartment. It had only been a couple weeks since graduation. Cagalli's eyes darkened as she stared at her friends across their coffee table. "Where did you get the money?" She was dead serious and looked more than a little pissed. Smiles quickly faded. "Well? How can any of us afford a trip like this? For three months? That's going to cost at least ten grand all told. Well?" Lacus and Mir were looking at each other, each hoping the other had prepared a better lie. "Well, we know it's a lot, but both of us got some money from our families for graduation, and we had a lot saved up so…"

"Cut the crap Mir." Cagalli fumed at her friend. "Where did you actually get this money?" She thought she knew the answer already, but she wanted to hear it from their mouths. Mir met her eyes. "Fine, your dad agreed to pay for it." An awkward moment of silence played over their common room. Cagalli spoke again; softly but with determination. "Well, I'm not going then." Now it was Mir's turn to be mad. "Cagalli, I know you've had a rough time over the past couple weeks. No one knows that better than us. But your dad worries about you. Even if it doesn't seem like it, he cares about you and wants to make you happy even if he has no idea how. When we talked to him, he had no idea you and Alex had broken up. He had to hear it second hand from us! Do you have any idea how much it breaks his heart to know his own daughter can't confide in him?"

Miriallia was breathing hard at this point. She could see the mixture of emotions playing over Cagalli's face as she glared at her. Indignation, guilt, sorrow, resentment; they were all there. She was about to continue when Lacus put her hand on her leg, the universal "ease up" message. Heeding Lacus' unspoken advice, Mir mellowed her tone and carried on. "Cagalli, even if you can't go for your father, you can go for us. You can go for yourself. Let's just take a few months to get away from it all before the real world comes crashing down on us. Lacus and I totally need a break, and you need some time to recover from Alex…" There it was. Cagalli had been ready for this. Her defenses were in overdrive. "Who says I need time?" She yelled back. "I'm just fine! I don't give a crap about that asshole anymore. Who are you to tell me what I'm feeling anywa-" *SMACK*

"Oh my god! Lacus!" Miriallia cried in shock. Lacus had abruptly stood up, reached across the table and smacked her roommate full across the face. Now it was her turn to be mad. With tears in her eyes, she made one last attempt to convince Cagalli she needed help. "Don't you dare say something like that to Miri!" She sniffled a bit and continued. "Do you have any idea what it's like seeing your best friend in pain and being unable to do anything? Do you know how hard Miri has been trying to help you? I can't bear to see you like this Cagalli; neither can she. It's like we're back to square one, outside the museum during freshman year. You've shut us out. And it's breaking our hearts."

"Lacus, it's ok. Really." Miriallia placed her hand on the girl's back, easing her into her seat again. When they looked back to Cagalli, her face was red. Not from the slap, but from the tears that were running down it. She looked up at her best friends with her big, amber eyes. The tears magnifying her irises as she sobbed softly. "L-laucs, Mir, I'm s-s-so sorry. I never meant to…I didn't want to. I…I just miss him so much!" Any other words were made unintelligible as the blonde haired girl began to cry openly, in front of people, for the first time in a decade. "Oh Cagalli. It's ok, we're here. We love you." Lacus and Miriallia made their way around the table to comfort their friend. "Now now, you just cry it all out." Lacus soothed her. "Why don't you move your mattress into our room tonight? We can go get ready for the trip tomorrow, ok?" Cagalli looked up at the pink haired girl and nodded in agreement. The tears continued to fall freely from her eyes, soothing her aching heart. For the first time in weeks, Cagalli actually felt a bit better._ Mir, Lacus…thank you so much. I would be so lost without you. I don't know if I can beat this, but with you, maybe there's a chance. _

Saturday dawned brightly as the three girls piled into Miriallia's Jeep to head to the local mall. The cabins at Archangel came outfitted with most of the "outdoorsy" stuff one might require for a summer's hike or camping trip, but there was unsolved the issue of the beach. And there's only one thing for three girls to do to prepare for a beach vacation (aside from packing sunscreen): buy new bikinis! Cagalli couldn't help but smile as they drove along the freeway. Lacus was singing along to Call Me Maybe on the radio and Miriallia was humming along. Between the positively bubbly atmosphere in the car and the fact that Cagalli had talked to her father for the first time in months the night before, Cagalli's demons were buried deep within her mind and heart. At least today, she was free. The warm sun and the soft vibrations of the road beneath the car brought her back to her talk with her father…

"Hi dad, yeah, it's me...

Yeah, I'm doing as well as I can be. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it, but you were…away again and I just…I just didn't want to interrupt things…

Graduation was nice. How was your board meeting? I read about it in the news…

Oh, that's…that's great dad. Not to change the subject, but I was calling to talk about Archangel…

I know precedent would be for me to turn down your offer, but I'll go. Lacus and Mir made sure of that…

Yeah, I know they are. They're here for me. I just wanted to ask why…

I see, I thought that might be the case. I think I should go now…

I'm sorry dad; I just can't talk about mom and…us right now. But believe me; I really do appreciate what you're trying to do here. I might call again from Archangel…

I…I love you too dad. And thank you for this. Bye."

It was the first time since her passing that Izumi had offered to talk to Cagalli about her mother. Between missing his daughter's graduation and having to hear about her life through her friends, something was slowly shifting within Mr. Autha. It gave Cagalli quite a bit of food for thought. _Oh dad, I get what you're trying to do, but you can't erase ten years of neglect with a vacation and a phone call. I'm barely starting to get over Alex and you suddenly want to talk about mom? I guess it's been just as hard on you, but I can't do this right now. Maybe we can talk when I begin work in the fall and I'm closer to home, but until then, I need to heal myself. Sorry dad, but you're going to have to wait. _"Hey, Cagalli! We're here!" Lacus' voice shook her from her reverie. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah, don't worry Lacus, just lost in thought a bit." Cagalli replied as she pulled herself out of the car. Mirialla had already begun walking towards the entrance, ready to begin shopping. Her eagerness gave Lacus a chance to gaze rather indiscreetly at herbutt, framed in a pair of very tight and very short jean shorts. Even if she was an engineer, Miriallia had self-awareness about her body that was reflected in her rather sexual saunter. The nerdy stereotype only went so far. Now it was Lacus' turn to be lost in thought. Male or female, it was hard to not appreciate that ass; on display as it was. Cagalli grabbed Lacus by the hand and led her onward. Unlike Lacus, Cagalli had eyes only for the male figure and was immune to the little display. "C'mon silly! If you hang around here all day Mir is gonna buy all the good bikinis and you'll be stuck in a one piece!" Lacus blushed red and hurried after her friends. "Wait up Miri! You can't have them all!"

The cold blast of air conditioning hit the girls as they walked in, eliciting a collective sigh of comfort. After walking along the white marble floors past a couple fountains and escalators, they arrived at their first stop: Victoria's Secret. Lacus and Mir practically raced to the swimsuit rack, while Cagalli held back a bit. The last time she was here it was to buy underwear…for him. _God, I just can't get away from his shadow. Maybe I need this trip more than I know._ She made her way over to her friends, who were holding up swimsuits in front of various mirrors in the store. They were posturing this way and that, trying to narrow down their choices before heading to the dressing rooms. Lacus, contrary to expectation, was trying to decide between blue, orange, yellow and seafoam green bikinis. "No pink Lacus? What's wrong?" Mirialli joked, picking up a very skimpy pink bikini from the rack and tossing it lightly at her friend. "Aaah! Stop it Miri! I wanted to try something new this summer. I'm always wearing pink to the beach and I figured we will be at a new place with new people. It will be great to reinvent myself a bit. Which do you think boys would like best Cagalli?" This was not Cagalli's forte, to be sure.

"Uh, I don't know. That blue one looks nice. It matches your eyes. The green one isn't bad either. The other two…well to be honest Lacus, the other two are anal floss. Would you honestly wear something that revealing?"

"Maybe! I love my body, what's wrong with showing it off? But I see your point, maybe I'll get one of each kind. That way I can cover up if I want to. What about you Cagalli? Think pink one might actually look good on you!" She held up the light pink bikini to Cagalli's chest. It had a few lace-like adornments along its edges, making it look like a cross between underwear and a swimsuit. Cagalli unintentionally flinched away. Pink was Alex's favorite color on her. While she rarely wore it in public, she had bought a pair of pink underwear for him. Were it not for Cagalli's insistence, they would have gone all the way that night. Seeing the bikini so close to her was bringing these memories back in a flood. Cagalli stared down, trying to pull herself together. It was hard to forget the feel of his hands on her skin; the heat as he played with her breasts and kissed along her neck. _If only I had said yes, maybe we would still be…Get a hold of yourself Cagalli! That's no excuse for cheating and you're in public for Christ sake. _"I, uh, I don't know if I'm ready to get back into something that small Lacus. I'm going to go take a look at the tankinis over there, ok?"

"Are you sure Cagalli? We can come with you if you want some help." Mir had picked up on Cagalli's inner turmoil, but couldn't tell if she wanted some time alone or not. Cagalli quickly brightened up, not wanting to rain on anyone's parade.

"No, that's ok. Thanks Mir. You stay here and make sure you get something just as good as the pink haired beauty over there." Lacus couldn't help but wink at the two of them. "After all, Lacus is going to need a partner in crime if things go anywhere close to the way I think they will. And even if they don't, that body of yours has been behind a lab coat far too long. Time to show it off to the world, don't you think?" Now it was Mir's turn to blush as Cagalli turned and wandered over to the rack of much more modest beachwear. It was precisely because she wasn't a "girly girl" that Cagalli could say embarrassing things like that to her friends with such impunity. Cagalli loved these moments, watching and helping her friends prepare for "the chase", even if she adamantly refused to participate in it herself. Whenever Lacus or Miriallia hooked up with a guy, Cagalli would do a little dance on the inside. It seemed so cute and innocent from her perspective, even if the actual details were far sultrier. For her sake and for her friends, she was more than happy pushing Mir to be a little more risqué than she might have been on her own. Inexperienced as she was personally, Cagalli had a keen eye for the actions of others and possessed far greater knowledge about the subject than one would expect from someone who had only had one serious boyfriend and no hookups. Boys were the last thing on Cagalli's mind though, as she eyed the swimwear before her. She furrowed her brow, scanning the rack for colors and patterns she thought suited her, skipping over everything pink. By the time she was done with the changing room, Lacus and Miriallia had already paid and were plotting where to strike next.

"C'mon slowpoke!" Mir taunted. "We were thinking of getting a couple summer dresses next. Sound good?"

"Yeah! Sorry about the wait. I was…actually, you guys go on ahead. I think I left my phone in the changing room."

"That's ok, we can wait for- Hey, Lacus, what are you doing?"

"Come on Miri. Dresses await us! We'll be next door Cagalli!" Lacus practically dragged Miriallia as she skipped out of the store. Cagalli grinned as she turned her attention back to what had caught her eye on the way out. It was by far one of the smallest bikinis she had ever seen. Even if it was her size, Cagalli wondered how anyone was supposed to wear it in public. The bottom was little more than a g-string thong. The top, while it would get the job done, did not contain an inch of unnecessary fabric. _Geez, the cups would probably barely cover my breasts, not to say anything of the bottom. But that symbol, it's awesome…_ The entire swimsuit was jet black, save for the left breast. It sported the head of a snow white wolf, with a beautiful purple flower held in its jaws. Unlike the gaudy Ed Hardy designs she had walked past on the way here, this one seemed to call to her. _God, why does it have to be so tiny! I'd be mortified to wear this in front of Alex, much less in public. But still…_ She looked around her sheepishly, making sure no one was observing her contemplations. Cagalli left the store a few minutes later to rejoin her friends, the black swimsuit hidden beneath a blue and white tankini.

Late that night, after Lacus and Miriallia had gone to bed, Cagalli began rummaging through her shopping bag. She brought out the black bikini and stared at it for a while. _Well, might as well give it a try_. She shed her clothes and put on the black fabric, removing the tags as she did so. Moving in front of her mirror, she gazed at her reflection. Framed by moonlight filtering through her blinds, Cagalli's pale body rested in stark contrast to its black covering. She began to spin slowly, moonlight playing over her curves as she admired her backside in the mirror. Moving a hand softly over her shapely legs and up to her round hips, Cagalli continued admiring herself. Turning back around, she cupped both of her breasts in her hands, bringing the wolf on her swimsuit to greater prominence. Alone, in the dark, with her body basically bare, the demons began to creep forward, shrouding her thoughts. She dropped to her knees and began to cry softly. _Alex wanted me…right? No, of course not. He fucked that girl because he could get what he wanted from her. He didn't want me. He wanted this. He wanted this body. He wanted what I look like now, not who I really am. I didn't mean anything to him. He was just after my virginity, another notch in his belt. Of course, that's what all men want, isn't it. They want to chase us, to act coy with us, to seduce us. They want to feel that thrill of victory, the feeling of us surrendering to them. And then what? Of course. They get bored and leave. They go on the hunt again, forgetting we ever existed. We don't mean anything to them. They just want to get their rocks off._ Her eyes became cold as she stared at herself in the mirror, amber orbs turning to frosted spheres. _Fine then, they won't have me. No man will ever see me like this. I won't let them hurt me. I'll never expose myself to them again. I'll never be vulnerable again. This part of me has been alone for so long, there's no need to stop now. Lacus, Mir…I'm sorry. There's nothing you can do._ The fact that she might be acting unfairly to Alex or men in general never crossed her mind as her tears flowed freely. After all, how could any mercy be given to men? Only they were capable of wounding so deeply. No one else had been able to scar her like her mother's passing. Slowly making her way to bed, Cagalli moved under the covers, bringing her knees to her chest. A single ray of light struck her blonde hair flowing over her pillow, reflected in the tears that streamed across the bridge of her nose to fall noiselessly on the fabric below her head. So recently, Alex had been there at her back, hand across her chest, holding her tightly to him. She had felt so warm, so safe. Now, all that was left was a cold, exposed feeling. In spite of her sorrow, he eyes began to droop and she nodded off.

Cagalli dreamed deeply. She looked up to find herself in her room, only to sink through the bed and drop into blackness. She opened her mouth to scream, but instead, the darkness around her moved to fill her mouth. It pierced her lungs and invaded her heart. By the time she landed, Cagalli could feel the blackness creeping through her. Along her arms, her veins grew black, spreading the personification of her anger and sorrow through her body. Laying there, in darkness, the last of her pale skin fading and her mind clouding, Cagalli began to weep silently. Around her, the blackness began morphing into shapes and shadows. As the bodies became more defined, pairs of burning eyes ignited around her. They closed in, laughing at her tears, mocking her pain. More and more, daemonic claws began to obscure her vision, her skin now dark as the creatures of hatred around her. "Our Queen. The Queen of Scorn. The Queen of Sorrow." Their hissing voices pierced her ears. Her amber eyes began to change, veins of dark purple snaking through them, bleeding their color throughout her irises. This was it, she was finished. _Oh god, am I to become one of them? Please, something, someone save me. Save me from myself!_ In that moment, a small ray of emerald light hit her face, driving away the taint there. Slowly it spread, purifying her body as the darkness retreated from her blood and flesh. As the last of the dark vapor left her mouth, Cagalli lay there, arm outstretched; naked and quivering. _Come closer, please, whatever you are. Please, don't leave me here._ Her nightmare abruptly ended as the light faded, leaving her cold and sweating in her bed. She panted heavily as morning light streamed into her room. "I'm so lonely…"

A week later, on the last day of May, the three girls departed for Lake Archangel. Cagalli had experienced that same nightmare multiple times. The shadows and creatures that represented all of her anger and fear threatened to swallow her. Every night she would try to resist, but the demons always won. It was if she was destined to be alone. In the darkest moment Cagalli would silently cry out, and something would stop them. A small but bright emerald light shone down on her from above each night, as if to say _you are not alone_. And yet, that's what she was. She would reach out to touch it but as always, it eluded her grasp. Staring out the window as trees and houses rolled by on their way north, Cagalli was lost deep in thought, terrified of what was lurking within her. Would she be alone forever? Could she never know comfort and love like Miriallia and Lacus claimed to have with various crushes? Could she ever open herself again without sabotaging herself? _What the hell does this mean? And what is that light supposed to be?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Hey Mwu, Murrue; you in here?" Athrun called out as he stepped into La Flaga General Goods, by far the largest building in Archangel. It was 7 AM on a Tuesday, meaning he would be the first and probably only customer in the store before noon. _Better get everything done here soon._ The blue haired boy thought to himself. _Today's the first day of the rental season. I wonder what kind of girls will show up this year, maybe someone interesting for once. Well, first things first though._ Every summer the population of Archangel exploded due to the influx of vacationers eager for their getaway. The other nine months of the year though it was a sleepy town, if you could even call it that. Most of the businesses catered only to the summer crowds and shut down in September, leaving a few families and the general store. It would be more appropriate to call Archangel a village with a tourist problem. The multitude of cabins lining the lake were about to fill up and Athrun had a few things to do before then. He began to walk down the aisles as a blond haired man in his early 40's came into the store from the back. He quickly spied the blue haired head bobbing up and down over the aisles of food and equipment and called out loudly.

"Athrun! Up and at 'em as usual? Murrue is just making coffee in the back. Would you like some?" Mwu walked up to Athrun and shook his hand heartily. A tall and slim man with a fair face and complexion, he and his wife ran the general goods store in town. They were one of the few families who remained in Archangel year round. During the summer months they practically lived in the back of the store to handle the increased demand and hours. The 'employee's only' sign actually meant something in this case. Athrun smiled up at Mwu, pulling a small piece of folded paper from his jeans pocket.

"Ah, no coffee for me thanks. I've got to get to work on the Aegis today. I need to make sure the lake is ready for our guests this year. I'll need the stuff for a usual paint touch up."

"Coming right up kiddo!" Mwu began combing through the aisles immediately, returning to Athrun in a few minutes. The two of them knew the store inside out. Shopping wasn't in their vocabulary. Buying and selling was.

"Ok then!" Mwu said as he brought a variety of hardware to the register where Athrun was waiting. "So we've got red paint, five gallons of fuel, wax, and a couple of cloths. That should be what you need to give her a touch up. Need anything else? Flares, ammunition, rope, dog food, people food?" Athrun jokingly held his hand up to stop the enthusiastic man. It was still 7 AM after all.

"No thanks Mwu. I still have more than enough survival gear after my last set of rounds. I could use another 50 foot coil though now that I think about it. The one I have the Aegis tethered with is getting a bit worn out."

"Sure thing, I'll be back in a minute." Mwu headed back into the aisles as a rather voluptuous brunette entered the store from the rear. Murrue stood a bit shorter than Mwu and looked excellent considering she too was in her forties. It would be appropriate to call the two of them a "power couple". They had the looks, they had that certain love for life and, most importantly, they had each other. Mwu greeted her cheerfully with a peck on the cheek, his blond hair playing stark contrast with her dark brown curls. "Morning sweetie! I'll get my coffee in a minute. Just grabbing a couple things for Athrun. He's at the front by the way if you'd like to say hi." He continued towards the back wall as Murrue headed to the front of the store where Athrun was waiting.

"Good morning hun, getting ready for the rush I assume?" She asked sweetly while giving the boy a brief hug. "Thanks for taking care of things as usual. Are you sure I can't get you any coffee? Least I can do."

Athrun chuckled briefly. "No thanks Murrue, I'm sure. You and Mwu are all settled in by now I'm guessing? Ready for the horde to descend?"

"As long as we have you taking care of the real labor around here I think we'll be fine. Thank God for it too. Those state troopers are less than useless where the town is concerned. Damn unions with their cushy pensions. Find anything on your last round?"

"No. Odin and I didn't see anything unusual. Fewer elk than usual this year, so hopefully that will keep the predators away from the lake. It's never a problem near the strip and the beach, but just one summer I'd like to make it without someone waking up to a cougar on their front porch looking for last night's barbecue." Athrun sighed briefly and ran his hands through his hair as Mwu returned with the rope.

"Ok then kid, that'll be $5."

"Mwu, Murrue, how long are you going to insist on the 90% discounts? I'm doing web design in the offseason now. I can afford full price. You shouldn't undercut yourself!" The two of them were not having it at all.

"Athrun, you do more for us and the town than this discount will ever be worth. I insist." They had been through this hundreds of times. Athrun would dispute the price, Mwu would insist and Athrun would graciously accept. He did see to the upkeep of the lake and the surrounding wilderness after all. Even so, it made him uneasy accepting such generosity on top of everything the couple had done for him. Being a parent is even harder when fate thrusts it upon you.

"And don't forget these Athrun!" Murrue called cheerfully as she tossed a box of condoms at him. Athrun turned bright red but managed to catch them. "Those are on the house." She winked gleefully. "I suspect you won't be able to turn them all away this year." The three shared a good laugh. If anything was more constant than the summer rush, it was Athrun's fierce success with the ladies. Between his good looks, solid frame, calm nature and general knowledge of all things Archangel, he was a hard one to resist for a summer fling.

"I'll try to keep it below five this year." He replied jokingly as Mwu cuffed his shoulder, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Talk about a ladykiller. Well, why don't we get this stuff to the truck? Maybe you'll find a girl this year you'd care to introduce us to. I'm sure Murrue would get a kick out of that too, right honey?"

"If they want to get serious with him they'll have to go through me first. Don't be too busy this summer Athrun. Stop by whenever. We have A/C!" Athrun smiled and thanked Murrue again before heading out to his pickup with Mwu. _He's a lucky man. I hope I can meet a woman like her someday._

A couple minutes later, Athrun's truck was loaded. He shook hands with Mwu again, pulling him in for a 'bro hug'. "Thanks for everything Mwu. I'll try stopping by on Friday. Everything should have settled down by then."

"Sounds good Athrun. Take care and let us know if you need anything. I'm sure we'll see you at the beach too. Say hi to Odin for me."

"Will do. See you soon Mwu." Athrun hopped into the driver's seat and drove slowly onto the main road, placing the condoms on the passenger seat and shaking his head at Murrue's audacity. The general store was at the top of a small hill overlooking the beach and the strip of stores that catered exclusively to vacationers, tucked into the left shore of the lake. The view was incredible, especially for a parking lot. The row of small wooden buildings and white sand gave way to a vast azure expanse. The lake trailed off out of sight to the right, flanked by pine trees all the way. Boring as it could sometimes be, living in Archangel certainly had its perks. It was unequivocally wild and beautiful.

Driving down the hill and making a right towards the boathouse, Athrun contemplated the tasks ahead of him before summer was to officially begin. _Let's see, I need to make sure the boathouse is in order, check the floating platforms in the swimming area, ensure the boundary lines and buoys are good, and I need to get in touch with the state parks department about the sand on the beach, it's not like artificial beaches maintain themselves. God I hate working with those guys. Oh well, it's not like there's anywhere else for me to go in this world. I might as well make the best of it. Maybe one of these girls will stop thinking about partying long enough to hold a decent conversation this year…not that I dislike the more physical alternative though. _

By the time Athrun had finished going over his combined list of tasks and past flings, he had arrived at the boathouse. It was a small, dark green building containing pretty much everything one would need to rent a sailboat on the lake. Many empty boat racks lined the shore to the left and right of the building. The fleet had recently been moved into the lake. Bringing his truck to a halt in the gravel parking lot, Athrun grabbed his toolkit and the supplies he had purchased earlier. He walked around the building and headed out the back to the pier. The pier consisted of four docks, three of which contained yellow and white sailboats. These were small boats that were removed from the lake during the winter. A main attraction, Athrun was glad he didn't have to deal with them. It was a task better left to the company that managed the majority of the cabins at the lake. The final dock held a few motorboats of assorted make and color. These were owned by particularly wealthy families who owned a cabin instead of renting. It was annoying to maintain the small fleet year round, but it paid well for Athrun and money was hard to come by in such a small town. The past week had been full of this rather joyless maintenance but today Athrun got to work on his baby, the Aegis.

Floating proudly at the end of the dock, it was a 25 foot bowrider with a bright red body and yellow trim, the name AEGIS painted proudly on the stern. To say it was Athrun's pride and joy was an understatement. He had purchased it from a derelict boatyard when he was 16. After a year's worth of tracking down parts and sweating over the engine (with quite a bit of help from Mwu of course), she was seaworthy again. As Athrun rested his hands on the side panels, reflecting on his history with the boat, he felt at ease. Today would be a day for himself, a luxury he would soon be unable to afford. He smiled happily as he broke open the fresh can of paint and began to work. After all, preparing the lake for summer meant spending more time with the Aegis.

By noon, Athrun had finished touching up the boat. With new rope, new paint and a full tank, he was itching to take it for a spin. _There will be plenty of time for that later._ He thought to himself, wiping sweat from his forehead. _Might as well wash up and eat._ It wouldn't be long before the hordes of vacationers showed up. Athrun replaced his tools, grabbed a sandwich and coke from the back of his truck, and relaxed on the bow for a peaceful meal. His mind drifted as a few cars began to appear on the main road, passing him to head towards the cabins along the lake. _So it begins._ He finished his sandwich and started the motor, untying the Aegis and heading out into the lake. Unable to resist, he decided to punch the engine, putting on a little show for whoever may have been watching from the road. Circling back around to bounce off his own wake, Athrun couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline at the brief weightlessness before smacking back onto the flat, blue surface of the lake. After a few more passes, at which point his hair was definitively blown back, Athrun slowed down and headed towards the swimming area adjacent to the beach to begin his final checks.

Stepping onto the dock a couple hours later, the first happy shrieks of beachgoers met his ears. Climbing back into his truck, Athrun drove along the main road opposite an ever growing steam of cars. His own house was a small cabin that lay about two hundred yards beyond the designated swimming area on the opposite bank. It was a godsend being on the other side of the lake during the summer. The crowds got oppressive at times. Odin was out and about somewhere, so Athrun was left to his wandering mind. Sitting outside his front door, Athrun contemplated the influx of humanity and all of the possibilities this summer could have in store for him. He cracked open a beer and stared off into space. _Well, here we go again. Maybe this year will be the year. Maybe she will be here…I just need to find out who she is._


	4. Chapter 4

***Note From the Author***

**First off, I would like to thank all of your who have managed to read this far. You are the reason I write anything in the first place and your feedback is really appreciated. To that end, I ask you to hold out just a little longer. I know you're all anxious for Athrun and Cagalli to meet. They will very soon. I understand my writing style is a bit long winded, but it's really the only way I can properly convey what's going on in my mind. With that said, please enjoy chapter 4! Chapter 5 will be up within 24 hours (it's a 6 pager and I need to edit it still).**

**Chapter 4**

"Whew, what a day! I can't believe how crowded the store was. The staff was very nice though, don't you think?" Lacus slumped down in a large chair in the corner of the living room. The cabin was cozy, yet spacious. Wooden furniture with overstuffed cushions dominated the large and open first floor. Fur rugs were everywhere, ensuring great comfort for the bare footed guest. The living room and dining area blended into one larger room with the kitchen separated by a wooden bar with a granite top. The upstairs consisted of a shared bathroom and two bedrooms, again drawing heavily on the outdoorsy, natural theme of the downstairs. To say the cabin was a step up from their college apartment would have been a gross understatement. Miriallia lay down on the leather couch to face her friend. The long drive and shopping trip had taken their toll.

"Yeah, to think the two of them run that gigantic store alone. Well, they seem to be quite happy and they really do have everything you could need. Now all we need to do is cook it." She looked at Lacus inquisitively. Lacus was having none of it.

"I'm really bushed." She replied, savoring the feeling of one of the fur rugs under her feet. "Pizza sound good?"

"We just bought all that food and you want to order pizza?"

"Yep!"

"Well, I suppose I can't argue with that logic." _Not that I'm really in the mood to cook anyways._ "Let me go ask Cagalli if she's ok with it." Miriallia slowly drew herself up and stretched. Walking past Lacus, who had just discovered the feet rest/reclining function of her chair, she opened the door next to the dining room table. "We get to be here for a whole summer Miri!" Her pink haired friend called after her excitedly.

"You can tell me all about it in a minute! Hey Cagalli, how does pizza sound tonight?" Cagalli had gone out to the back porch almost immediately after they arrived and unpacked. Miriallia's question didn't quite register. The view from the back porch was quite conducive to deep contemplation. "Hey, Cagalli. Anyone in there?" Miriallia placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. Cagalli craned her neck to look directly upside down at her. "Oh hey Mir, what's up?"

"Pizza work for you tonight?"

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling like cooking really. The usual for me: half pineapple, half olive please. I can pay for it by the way. My dad said he'd transfer some spending money to my bank account. I should have used the ATM at the store when I had the chance, but I'll get it back to you one way or another."

"Great. Say thank you to him again by the way. This place is beyond awesome! It's quiet too. Well, I'll go see what Lacus want's on hers. Enjoy the view. Hey Lacus, what do you want on your pizza?" Miriallia's voice cut off abruptly as she closed the door to the house. Cagalli returned to the scene before her. It was a sight to behold. The beach and boathouse could just be seen off in the distance to the left. The lake slowly arced, passing their cabin and continuing way off into the distance to Cagalli's right. In the distance she thought she could make out an island. _I should probably go explore that sometime. You'd need a motor to reach it though. That's way too far for a sailboat. Shame they don't charter those. I wonder who owns that red one. It looks really nice. I doubt it's for rent. Maybe you can walk around to it. That would be nice, I'd be alone for longer._

The wonderful scene around her, at least initially, had the opposite affect her friends and father had hoped for. Instead of ignoring her past and her inner turmoil, Cagalli was now heavily focused on it. The cabin and surrounding environs provided an excellent backdrop for such introspection. Unfortunately for Cagalli, there were scant few solutions presenting themselves to her. She still had no idea what the green light was in her dream, nor did she understand why she was so fixated on it. The specter of Alex was clearly not done haunting her in the daytime or otherwise. Even with her best friends, she still felt very much alone at times. Chasing herself in circles, time seemed to slip away. By the time Lacus called her in for dinner, the sun had set and hundreds of small flickering lights had appeared on both shores of the lake. _Well, it certainly is a wonderful place to be alone. I won't be meeting any jerks like this, that's for sure. Who needs them anyways…men. Ugh, they make me sick._ "Ok, I'm on my way in. What do we have to drink?"

After dinner, the girls cleaned up the kitchen quickly and headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Lacus and Miriallia were excited to hit the beach the next day, so they headed to sleep right away. Cagalli, on the other hand, lay in bed dreading what the night might have in store for her. _At least I got the single room again._ She thought to herself, contemplating the shadows on the ceiling which moved slowly as the breeze rustled the pines outside. _I don't know if I'd be able to face them right after the nightmare. God knows I probably mutter during it too. I just feel so helpless…I don't want to sleep at night; and I don't want to do anything during the day because I'm too busy thinking about what's gonna happen at night. Those shadows are winning and there's nothing I can do about it. It's infuriating and the worst part is I can't tell anyone about it. I'm sure Lacus and Mir would try to help, but what can they do against my own mind? I just need to stay…stay awake…yeah…awa…_ Sleep came for her anyways, and with sleep came the shadow.

"Your despair feeds us! QUEEN OF SCORN!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Cagalli screamed as she awoke covered in sweat. Her heart racing, she clutched the comforter to her chest as the warm morning light filtered through the blinds. In the warmth, she slowly came back to reality. "Thank you stupid light, but you could've come earlier you know." She cursed under her breath as she headed to the bathroom to wash her face. The smell and sounds of her roommates preparing breakfast reached her as she splashed some cold water on her face to wake up, talking to herself. "I should look way worse than that considering what I go through almost every night. Count my blessings I guess. Fuck you Alex. Or is it even him anymore? Is it me? Getting over someone shouldn't be this hard…" She stared into her own eyes in the mirror, hoping that if she looked hard enough, she could find the answers within herself. Unfortunately that's not how mirrors work. Cagalli sighed, got dressed and headed downstairs.

"Good morning sunshine!" Lacus said cheerfully as Cagalli grabbed a piece of toast, saying nothing. She sure didn't feel like sunshine. "I think bacon will be ready soon too!" Lacus went back to her work, humming over the stove. Unlike at the mall, her infectious happiness was having no effect. Cagalli had dreamed far too recently for that. A pall hung over her, as if that corrupting smoke somehow still swirled around her, just waiting for a moment of weakness. Miriallia was sitting at the center island, already enjoying some eggs and orange juice. She caught on immediately. It wasn't hard to tell when Cagalli planned on shutting you out. Sometimes she just needed to be alone. Historically, Mir would have given her space, but now was time for direct action. Alone was not an option. _Well, looks like we're going to have to use force today. I was actually hoping it might come to this…Lacus can never resist a chance to dress someone else up. Hopefully she wears something modest herself. I'd prefer to not have to beat back guys on our first day at the beach! _

Cagalli didn't catch Miriallia's devilish grin as she headed out to the back porch again. She wasn't very hungry. She chewed absent-mindedly at the dry bread as a couple sailboats drifted by, crewed by some very early-rising and zealous sailors. _How the hell can you be out on the water already? It's barely 8!_ Back inside, Lacus had sat down to eat as well, turning her head to look at the back of Cagalli's yellow hair outside. "She doesn't seem so happy". Lacus mused. The two chewed on freshly cooked bacon as Miriallia relayed her plan for getting Cagalli to the beach. "I'm not going to beat around the bush Lacus, we may have to forcefully strip her down, put her swimsuit on and get her in the Jeep. I know you were busy cooking, but I saw the look on her face. If we leave her alone, she'll be in that chair for three months straight."

"But what if it rains?"

"That's so not the point Lacus!" Mir couldn't help but chuckle and smile at her best friend. Bikinis had their advantages, but she liked the way Lacus looked in the morning best. Her hair was loose and slightly messed up from the night before. It hung down just below the bottom of the oversized t-shirt she wore over her underwear in the mornings. It allowed a bit of her flat and toned midriff to show, and it was holding Mir's eye. Lacus was not a fan of pants before noon. Today was not a day for excessive staring however. Cagalli had to take center stage.

"Anyways," Miriallia continued, drawing her gaze back. "What do you say? We grab her when she comes out of the bathroom post-shower? She should have a towel on anyway. Ease of access."

"You'll do most of the work, right? I don't like all of this physical stuff Miri, it's not like us."

"Yes, but you get to choose her swimsuit." That was all it took.

"I'm in!" Lacus practically leaped off her chair and began cleaning the dishes, as if doing so would force Cagalli into the shower quicker. When she came back around to grab Miriallia's plate, she hovered behind her, chest centimeters from her friend's back. Leaning over, Lacus whispered in her ear in a more sultry tone than she had intended. "You're a pretty bad girl Miri. I need to be careful." As if to make it stick, she lightly nipped Miriallia's ear before returning to the sink, whistling as if nothing had happened. Mir was left in a state of shock, face flushed, trying to stare straight though the granite counter to the center of the earth.

_God! Does she have any idea what that does to me? _She crossed her legs uncomfortably. _Well, of course she does. It's not like we haven't kissed before, but that's just something else entirely. Not to mention this is Lacus here so I have no idea if she's seriously flirting or just being her normal, bubbly self. When I'm in the lab, it may be hard to find the answer but at least I know how to get there. No such luck with her._ _For that matter, what's wrong with me! This is Lacus here, my best friend! We aren't drunk, there are probably hundreds of hunks waiting for us at the beach, and I'm straight as far as I know but I'm getting turned on by this? What the fuck is going ON? _ Lacus took her turn to grin, but it wasn't a sly or devious grin, it was a genuine smile of joy as she watched Miriallia out of the corner of her eye. Maybe it was just a physical reaction, but there was a small chance that Mir's actions meant something more; something that Lacus was coming to realize she desperately wanted.

There was little time to dwell on that though as Cagalli passed through the kitchen to head upstairs and shower. Lacus winked at Miriallia, who managed to return a smile even though her head was still swimming. "Time to go I think!" They both headed upstairs and got ready to spring their not so elaborate trap. Lacus grabbed a tankini from Cagalli's suitcase. She was hoping for something skimpier, but Cagalli had made sure no one would find the black bikini unless she wanted them to…or unless they literally tore apart her room. The girls took position on either side of the door as they heard the rumble of water in the pipes fade. Miriallia looked at Lacus. She must have seemed nervous, because Lacus responded with a big thumbs-up. _That girl is going to the beach whether she likes it or not!_


	5. Chapter 5

***From the Author***

**Hi all, lastamaranth here. Before you embark on this behemoth of a chapter I'd like to say a couple things and make a request. **

**1. I'm new here at and I don't really have a presence in the community. To that end, if you enjoy my story please pass it on to your friends. I'd really appreciate it!**

**2. I have officially run out of "page buffer" in my haste to post this chapter. From here on out, I'll be posting chapters as soon as I finish writing them. I appreciate your patience in the event that life gets in the way XD.**

**3. If you haven't already noticed, this chapter will make it pretty clear that there's some sexual tension going on between Lacus and Miriallia so I figured I'd just put it out there now: I am not for or against any sort of homosexual agenda. I am simply pro-tolerance and I believe that love comes in many forms. Thanks for understanding.**

**4. Thank you all for listening. As a special present, I would like to direct you to my account (also lastamaranth) where you can find another story I've begun work on. I hope you all like zombies!**

**Chapter 5**

Stepping out of the bathroom with nothing but a damp towel wrapped around her, Cagalli was immediately set upon. If it weren't for the impish, high pitched laughter and the warmth of three entangled bodies, she would have sworn her nightmare had pierced into her waking hours.

"AAAH! Lacus! Mir! What the hell! Get off me!" She screamed at her roommates as she struggled. The towel came off, leading to quite a bit of action that would otherwise have been considered a gross violation of personal space. Actually, it was pretty much a gross violation of personal space however you chose to look at it. Cagalli couldn't really fight effectively against both of them, resorting to vocal complaints instead. "This is so not cool! Just let me go!"

"Oh no you don't little missy." Miriallia chided her, pinning Cagalli's arms above her head. "You were headed back out to the porch to mope around all day weren't you?" This accusation caused Cagalli to stare intently at the wall to her left. It was a pretty obvious admission of guilt. "You're getting on that beach with us whether you want to or not!"

"Yeah! You're going to get into this swimsuit and I'm going to like it…err, no. You're going to like it! Teehee…oh, sorry. We're supposed to be all serious, right?" Lacus was no good at menacing accusations, but she was enjoying the whole process nevertheless. Cagalli, set upon from all sides, couldn't help but laugh. They were breaking through again and would continue to do so until their friend was healed.

"Lacus, you're hopeless, you know that? Hey, NO TICKLING! That's so not fair! I didn't mean it so stoooooop!" Peals of laughter rang throughout the cabin. A couple minutes and a few rug burns later, the three girls were sun-screened, suited up and headed to the beach with the top down and stereo ablaze. The haze around Cagalli had been forcefully dispelled again thanks to the 'valiant' efforts of her friends. She was actually a bit nervous, feeling a butterfly or two taking hold right above her stomach. _Maybe there will be a cute guy there._ She caught herself. _For Lacus or Mir of course! What are you thinking woman?_ She wasn't one for tanning and playing coy with muscled airheads. That was Lacus' domain in college. Way too many steps ahead, Cagalli found herself hoping her room was soundproofed with sex in mind as Mir pulled her Jeep into the boathouse lot. "This is it ladies. Let the summer begin!" Lacus cheered as she practically jumped out of the passenger seat. Cagalli steeled herself for what would certainly be the biggest social exposure since her breakup. At least they had brought a Frisbee.

One couldn't have asked for a better day. A couple of wispy clouds floated across an otherwise completely clear and blue sky. The sun shone down brightly, warming the pale sand and making the lake seem very inviting. The three girls stood under a tree by the parking lot, surveying the sands before venturing into the sun. Pretty much everyone looked young and beautiful. Even the parents of the young and beautiful people looked young and beautiful. Fortunately for their hook up chances the girls were more than up to the challenge, even Cagalli.

Lacus had worn a dark blue bikini and not much else. She never had to worry about getting in shape for "bikini season" thanks to her inhuman metabolism, much to Miriallia's chagrin. Mir was keeping pace though. The end of senior year had been slow, allowing her less time in the lab and more time in the gym. She was clad in a yellow bikini and a matching translucent shawl around her waist. Cagalli was fine with the swimsuit she had been forced into. It was a white tankini with blue trim, modest but form fitting. Taking their umbrella to a spot near the shoreline the three turned a few heads, male and female alike. Soon towels were laid out, the umbrella was erected and the girls were digging their toes into the warm sand, sighing happily. "I gotta admit you two," Cagalli began. "This was a good idea. Thanks for dragging me out here. You wanna tan a bit before the sun gets too high?"

"You're welcome sweetie!" Lacus responded cheerfully as ever. "Trust me, it's our pleasure too." She unceremoniously popped the clasp on her top and lay down. More heads turned. Pink hair was one thing, but pink hair and naked except for bikini bottoms…well that was a game changer. Cagalli blushed a little bit. There was no way she could match that display and she definitely felt the stares as people shifted their gaze from Lacus to the two other beautiful girls she was with…and then back to Lacus again.

Miriallia, confident as she was, couldn't have cared less. She undid her shawl, lay down next to Cagalli and began speaking softly, hoping to draw Cagalli back to something she felt comfortable with. "So have you talked to your dad again?" Cagalli sat in the shade next to Mir's head to avoid tan lines. She would have to take herself up on the tanning offer sometime she was willing to show a bit more skin.

"No, I haven't. It's not really something we do and I honestly wouldn't know what to say. Small talk isn't in our vocabulary and nothing big has really happened since we last spoke. It would just be an awkward mess."

"Maybe, but I'm guessing he would still enjoy hearing from you. It might make it easier to talk about the big things if you talk about the small ones."

"Yeah, you might be right. But if there's one thing my dad is good at, it's crisis management. He's not head of ORB for nothing. So in a way I feel like he enjoys those moments more…I just couldn't tell him about Alex though. Boys are something I've never really had to deal with before and it just didn't seem right, you know?"

Miriallia chewed her lip thoughtfully before answering. _Well this is new. She just brought Alex and her dad up in the same sentence without breaking down or getting angry. We may just be making progress here! I'd better not screw this up._

"I suppose you're right. In the end, whatever makes you feel most comfortable is best. Do you want to talk about it? I'm probably not as good at crisis management as your dad though." She smiled softly at Cagalli who was clearly thinking about it, unsure of how to proceed. "Maybe another time Mir. I don't think there's too much to say. He hurt me badly and it still stings deep down. There's not much more to it."

"As you wish. I do envy you a bit though. Even if it ended on a terrible note, you were committed for two years. Compared to Lacus over there who can never seem to make up her mind, it was refreshing to see the two of you and what you had. I know the good doesn't wash out the bad, but it never would have gotten to that point if there wasn't something good there at all, right?"

"Hey Miri! That's not fair! You've hooked up with your fair share too!" Lacus interjected, sparking a side conversation about the myriad boys that had gotten close, but were still so far away from the true prize. Cagalli was left to meditate for a bit on what Miriallia had said about her and Alex. _I guess she is right. For most of it, he was really nice and sweet. I'm not too vain to admit he did help me in ways Miriallia and Lacus couldn't. Only problem is he went and ruined all of that when he cheated on me. I'd rather have never met him. It just wasn't worth it. How do Mir and Lacus do it so easily? They just waltz up to guys. They dance, they kiss. Hell, sometimes they even fuck. And then they move on like nothing happened. What is it with them? Just the idea of kissing Alex was mortifying and exciting to me. They act like it's the most natural thing in the world. What am I missing?_ Miriallia broke Cagalli's reverie. Lacus was back to tanning, having successfully pointed out that Miriallia was as much of a 'crazy girl' as she was. "Sorry Cagalli, are you ok? I didn't mean to bring Alex up like that by the way."

"No Mir, don't worry about it. It's actually ok. Let's just talk about it later, alright? I've had enough flashing back for one day." She placed her hand on Mir's shoulder. "Seriously though, thank you. Talking helps, just in really small doses."

"Any time Cagalli. That's what friends are for. Speaking of which…how do you feel about a little payback?"

"What do you mea-"

"Shhhh!" Miriallia dropped her voice even lower. "Lacus just fell asleep I think. So I was thinking of a nice way to wake her up, you know…so she doesn't burn her legs and stuff. Here's a hint, it involves that large body of water over there."

"Ooooh. I could definitely go for that! Didn't have enough hands on time today Mir?" Mir smiled, hiding a slight blush.

"Well you know I just can't pass up a chance to get my hands all over Lacus' bod. Based on the looks she was getting before, I think we will be making quite a few guys jealous." She smiled slyly at Cagalli.

"The way you talk about it it's almost like your defending your turf." The smile was now replaced with a serious blush. "I know you two make out a lot, but it's just that; right?"

"Yeah! Of course that's it" Mir answered a little too hastily, trying to bring attention back to her plan to soak Lacus. "I'll get her top back on. Wouldn't want to give these guys anything they haven't earned." She ever so gently redid the clasp across Lacus' back. "Now then, you get ready by her legs. I'll grab the arms. On three." Mir held up a fist, then one finger, two…and three.

Lacus was brought rudely back to reality as she was lifted into the air by her limbs. "AAAAAH! What are you doing to me? Help!" Pretty much everyone within their general vicinity was looking now, even though it was clear there was no emergency. "Put me down girls! This isn't funny!"

"Oh I beg to differ!" Cagalli jeered between laughs as she shuffled through the sand backwards, holding Lacus up by her calves. "Hold fast Mir. We're almost there!" A few beachgoers jumped out of their way as the girls approached the water, not wanting to get involved…or wet. By now, Lacus had realized that struggling was futile. Both of her friends were stronger than she was. They were knee deep now, holding Lacus just above the water's surface. "Please, don't do this to meeeee." Lacus pleaded, trying the puppy eyes. Cagalli wasn't having any of it. "Oh no Lacus, I think this is quite fair considering your role in this morning's activities. And besides, I thought you couldn't wait to fully experience the beach." She winked fiendishly. "Ready Mir?" They began to swing Lacus back and forth, building up momentum. "One! Two! Three!" They let go, sending Lacus flying into the deeper water with a resounding and satisfying combination of a shriek and a splash.

"Well," Miriallia said turning to Cagalli. "I think that worked quite well. Shall we?" They turned and started walking back towards the beach, assuming Lacus would quickly follow. Not hearing anything after a couple seconds, Mir looked over her shoulder to see nothing but lake. "Uh, Lacus?" Turning around to get a full view, she finally saw her, crouching in the shallows and far too close for comfort. There was fire in her eyes now. It was time for payback. "Miriiiiiii, why don't you JOIN ME!" She yelled as she pounced on her brown haired friend, sending them both splashing into the water. Cagalli ran back to grab the camera, a little more wet thanks to the incidental spray and hoping to avoid any further splashing.

By this point, most of the women in the vicinity had turned back to whatever they had been previously doing. The guys, on the other hand, had all grabbed their friends and were watching now, some much more discretely than others. What straight guy could resist a catfight? Shouldering past a few more dubious onlookers, Cagalli couldn't help but fire a verbal broadside towards the gender against which she harbored a massive grudge. "If you're going to be perverts, try not to be so obvious about it. Your girlfriends don't seem to approve either." Her voice was heavy with malice. She didn't know if they had any girlfriends, but it didn't seem to matter. Being told off by an attractive blonde was pretty demoralizing regardless of material fact. The offenders continued their walk across the beach.

By this point, Miriallia and Lacus were just splashing each other, giggling like schoolgirls in the clear water. It was heartwarming for Cagalli to see her friends so carefree. It seemed to vicariously lighten her own emotional load. She got some decent pictures to post when they got home as the few remaining observers returned to their normal activities. The chance of a wardrobe malfunction had significantly dropped.

Cagalli returned to the umbrella to close her eyes for a bit while her friends played in the water. She faintly heard Lacus' voice as she zoned out. Perhaps it was just a daydream, but Cagalli began to see the emerald light again, much brighter and closer now. The darkness was gone for the first time in days. She didn't need to be saved, yet here it was. Her ethereal savior was closer than it had ever been before. It bathed her entire body in light. She even saw tinges of blue filter through the green haze above her. Was this because of Mir and Lacus' efforts, or was there something more to the change in her dream?

"Why'd you come after me and not Cagalli!" Miriallia chided Lacus as the water fight continued.

"Cause I know this was your idea Miri! That and I totally deserved it from her end!" Lacus replied with a splash to Mir's chest. "So now I need to get even!" She began to run playfully at her friend, hoping to transform the added speed into an especially large splash. However, the bottom of the lake wasn't perfectly even and Lacus stumbled on a sandbar, her momentum carrying her forward. Miriallia had braced herself for incoming water, not an incoming body. Unable to lower her center of gravity, she threw her hands in front of her, half catching and half blocking Lacus as the two fell into the knee-deep water. Miriallia propped herself up on her elbows, bringing her head out of the water, sputtering and wiping her eyes. Not only was the lake a decent shock absorber, but the lack of salt and stinging was a godsend. She reoriented herself quickly, opening her eyes to see Lacus' face inches away from her own.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry Miri. I didn't mean to. Are you hurt?" Lacus asked quickly.

"No, I'm fine Lacus, thanks." She blushed at her friend, glancing off to the side sheepishly. "But, uh…do you think you could take your hand off my…" She looked down at her chest where Lacus' hand was placed firmly on top of her left breast. Now that Mir had recovered from the fall, the heat and pressure was impossible to ignore. In the cool water, Lacus' hand felt incredibly warm, even though the fabric of her swimsuit. Her face was on fire with embarrassment. Lacus followed Mir's eyes. When she realized what she was actually doing, she jumped back like she was hit by a slug round.

"Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod! I'm sorry Miri! I didn't mean it!" She began to blush furiously and stutter, but Mir grabbed her hand and helped her to her feet. Water dripped from both of their bodies, reflecting the glinting sunlight. "Don't worry Lacus, it's no big deal." Miriallia said softly and reassuringly as she could, looking the pink haired girl over. She was fixated by her long, pink, wet hair as it clung to her. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lacus replied softly, looking up at her friend. Their eyes met again…for longer than they should have given the situation.

_Oh my god, what just happened? What is happening now? First that thing at breakfast and now this? Look away Mir, cmon, look away. God she's so pretty…LOOK AWAY!_ Miriallia's mind was in turmoil as she wrenched her eyes away to stare at a particularly interesting pine tree on the bank. It was wrong to see another woman that way. That's what she'd been taught growing up in the Midwest. Men loved women and women loved men. Friendship was well and good, but homosexuality wasn't normal. It was a problem, to say nothing of bisexuality. That was straight depravity. What she was feeling, in that instant, was a problem. _This is so wrong! Lacus will probably think I'm a freak, not to mention Cagalli and everyone back home. God what would they say?_ "We can't…" She started, but caught herself. "I mean, why don't we head back, you know? To the towels and stuff? Ok?" She asked weakly.

"Yeah, sure thing." Lacus replied, seeing the turmoil in her friend's eyes and voice. _I see, so that's what it is. This is going to be much, much harder than I thought. Though I suppose I should be thankful. There's no way I was planning on being that forward intentionally. This gives me an idea of what I'm up against._ "I think Cagalli's nodded off up there. Besides, it's getting close to noon. You wanna wake her up and grab some lunch?"

"Sure. That would be nice." Miriallia turned quickly and waded back through the water to the shore, leaving Lacus behind for a moment. She looked down at the blue water, seeing her own dark blue eyes reflected back at her, distorted by the ripples from her legs. _I'm sorry Miri, I didn't know it was that bad. Maybe I'm just being selfish. Maybe this is something I…we aren't meant to have. I just…I just don't know what I'd do if I were to lose you. _Shaking the doubt from her head, Lacus returned to shore. There was no sense in thinking about it now. There was nothing she could do.

While there were a few restaurants across the street, it was decided that the authentic beach experience would be continued. Besides, who doesn't enjoy hamburgers, hot dogs and fries from a beachside stand? "Are you here every day?" Cagalli asked the man behind the grill. He was a slightly heavyset man who had clearly been at the beach for many years.

"Oh yeah. Well, every day during the summer at least. Obviously there's not much to be done in the offseason. I set up the grill around 11 and pack up at 6. Hope to see you ladies again. Enjoy your meal!"

"He was very polite." Miriallia said as the girls made their way back to their towels. "Yeah, nice guy." Lacus replied softly. Cagalli couldn't place her finger on it, but something was off between Mir and Lacus. It was subtle, but the tone of conversation had clearly changed for the bland and boring. That and there was an awful lot of silence. _Well something clearly happened when I was asleep…which was actually very nice this time. I should fall asleep at the beach more often. Anyways, that's so not the point. _She chewed thoughtfully and looked back and forth between her friends. _I wonder which one I should talk to about it. Usually it's pretty obvious, but they both are in a serious funk this time. I guess I'll have to separate them for a little while, maybe that will make it clearer._ She waited until they had finished lunch and had gotten a chance to relax a bit.

"Hey Mir, Lacus; do you want to throw the Frisbee around for a bit?"

"No thanks Cagalli, I think I'll tan a bit more." Lacus' reply was exactly as Cagalli had expected.

"Mir?"

"Yeah, sure. Let's go. I could use some activity after all that food." Miriallia picked up the blue disc and began looking for an open space to throw. As the girls had done that morning, most of the beachgoers had parked in the boathouse lot, meaning their side of the beach was far too crowded with potential victims of a Frisbee to the face. The area nearest the water was crowded as well, leaving a small area on the opposite end of the beach near the road. It ran up against the wall of pines which bordered the beach on that side, meaning the area was shaded and generally unappealing for the average beachgoer. It was perfect for Frisbee though. No sun glare and lots of open space. The two girls began the trek over through the hot sand.

"Ow, this is a little hot." Cagalli said, moving faster. "By the way Mir, are you feeling ok?"

"What? Yeah. Of course I'm alright. We are at the beach after all." She gave as convincing a smile as she could and headed onward. Shortly after, she stopped. "Ok Cagalli, head on over there. Just be careful of that guy by the trees." _Who reads at a beach like this? Seriously?_ "Not too far though, let's warm up for a bit. It's been a while since I've thrown."

"Yeah, same here. No worries." Cagalli replied, taking a few paces deeper into the shadows by the pine trees. The man lowered his sunglasses a bit, curious at what was about to interrupt his reading. A couple girls with a Frisbee seemed innocent enough. There was no need to move or go home just yet.

After a few warm up throws, Cagalli took a few steps back, getting more creative. She and Mir were now throwing forehands, overheads and a variety of other tosses they had learned over the years at college. Miriallia had just gone airborne to catch a high throw from Cagalli. As she settled in for a forehand, a car full of 'bros' (for lack of a better term) rolled by on the road, complete with cat calls and whistling. Mir was thrown off, angling the disc higher than she should have. It floated up past Cagalli's head and headed towards the tree line.

Forgetting her surroundings, Cagalli gave chase. Her adrenaline was up a bit from the activity and she had secretly been hoping for a tough catch. Her eyes were fixated on the spinning blue disc hovering just inches out of reach, taunting her. She continued to run towards the trees, arm outstretched, when Miriallia's shout brought her back to reality. "Cagalli! Watch out!" Tearing her eyes off of the disc, Cagalli realized she was running full tilt at a young man reading on the edge of the beach where the grass and pines met the sand. "Oh shiiiiiit!" She yelled. She was right on top of him. Trying desperately to come to a halt in the shifting sand, she tripped over herself. Gravity did the rest. She flung her hands out and closed her eyes as the blue haired boy looked up at her…

For Athrun, the scene before him seemed to play out in slow motion. Absorbed in a text on advanced topics in mechanical engineering, he was disturbed by a sudden flurry of whistling and cat calls. _God, sometimes I hate my gender. They could at least buy her dinner first._ He thought to himself, smirking. _Oh well, the more girls they turn off like that, the more for me._ He was about to turn back to his book when a blue object caught his eye…the Frisbee. A girl with short blonde hair and a white swimsuit was running straight at him. _Oh shit._ "Hey! Watch it!" He yelled; just as the girl's brown haired companion did. The blonde stumbled before him and cried out, tilting headlong right for him. Athrun spread his legs apart at the last second to avoid any contact possible. There was no way he could stand up in time. He was grateful for his sunglasses as a wave of sand hit him. The blonde came to rest in a position many girls had been in before…though none had arrived there thanks to a Frisbee and Athrun was definitely wearing more clothing this time. _Well now; this is unexpected…_

"Ouch! Aaaw man that hurts." Cagalli muttered to herself, lifting her head out of the sand. "Sorry about…that…" Her voice trailed away as she came face to face with what was definitely the best six-pack she had ever seen in person. Even with all the troubles she had been through recently, she wasn't immune to something that sexy. Washboard wouldn't have been the correct term. Whoever this guy was, he wasn't wiry at all. He was lean, but he was definitely built. Whatever the cause, Cagalli was transfixed.

"Do you like what you see?" Athrun asked, peering down at the girl through his sleek shades. The stunned look on her face turned ice cold when she met his eyes. Athrun was taken aback. She was pretty in a terribly unique way. In different clothing she could have easily been mistaken for a tomboy, but in the tight swimwear she had on, it was clear she was very much a woman. He didn't have too much time to consider her curves though. For some reason her eyes held his gaze. They were a beautiful and soft amber color, though the look he was getting from them was anything but soft. She spoke again.

"Who the fuck asked you? Pervert." Cagalli hissed at him, her voice laced with venom. She was even more standoff-ish than usual when it came to men due to the suddenness of the situation. _Who the hell is he to act like that? It's not like I intentionally threw myself on him! Well, at least it's pretty obvious what this horny bastard wants._ Surprisingly though the boy spoke again, completely un-phased by her harsh words. His blue hair waved in the breeze just above his eyebrows as he countered her verbal attack.

"How feisty. You kiss your mother with that mouth?" As soon as Athrun said it, he knew he shouldn't have. All light left the amber eyes before him. There was something about this girl, something very different from the usual carefree, sex-focused women he usually interacted with. She had clearly known pain.

"She's dead. So no." Cagalli looked back at the ground. _Anywhere but here. I would give anything to be anywhere but here talking with this jerk about mom._

"Well that makes two of us then. I'm sorry to hear that. My name's Athrun by the way. Athrun Zala. What's yours?" Cagalli stared back at him with disbelief. She couldn't speak. _Him too? How is he so…normal?_ She just kept staring, wishing he would take off those sunglasses. For some inexplicable reason, she had to see his face. "Uh…hey, are you ok in there?" Athrun said again. He took off his glasses and placed them on the sand on top of his book. Standing up, he grabbed the girl's arm and hoisted her up with him, looking her level in the eyes for the first time. What he saw was concerning. _She is NOT ok. Oh man, what's going on here. _

Cagalli's mind had short circuited. She had crashed into this guy out of the blue. Less than 30 seconds later he had brought up her mom, something not even Lacus and Miriallia ever did. Her elbows and knees still ached from her crash, but a new sensation was burning through her body. Her right forearm was pins and needles, like he was somehow able to generate an electric current and send it straight to her brain. He was holding her by the arm and looking at her with those eyes. Those deep emerald eyes. _This isn't possible._ She thought as she looked into his worried face, fear showing in her eyes. _It's the same. His eyes and that light…they're the same. No. No it can't be! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!_ Her mind cried at her. How could her savior be this…man? Wasn't that what she needed to be saved from? Men?

"Stop!" She cried. Athrun let go immediately, not wanting to do any more unintentional damage. Something had shifted again within this pretty woman before him. _First she was stunned, then terribly angry and strong. And now there's this. This girl, she's been through pain…like me._ Now Athrun saw a frightened girl before him, clutching her arm and looking away from him. She was trying to make herself as small as possible. He could see she was almost on the verge of tears. What it his touch? Was it her mother? Was it something else entirely? He had no idea what to do. Thankfully, the girl's friend had come running over once Cagalli had yelled.

"Cagalli!" Mir shouted, holding the girl tightly. "What did you do to her?" She glared at Athrun. He replied in a concerned voice; still calm but quite different from the one he was using just moments ago. "I was hoping you could tell me that, miss…uh…"

"My name is Miriallia." She replied with a measured tone. Even if he meant no harm, he'd still done something.

"I'm Athrun Zala."

"Well Mr. Zala, I don't know what you said to her, but whatever it was, I think its best you don't see us again this summer. Let's go Cagalli." Mir turned her friend around and began marching her back towards Lacus. _Oh man, what a night this is going to be. And I thought we had made such progress. Damn that blue haired guy. Why did he have to be so attractive?_

Athrun, dumbfounded, watched the pair walk away from him. He was about to turn back when he saw the blonde girl turn her head and look at him. He couldn't tell for sure, but it looked like she wanted to ask him something important. This only left him more confused. _Cagalli. That was her name. It's a pretty name for a pretty girl. But what in God's name just happened? What happened to her? All I did was touch her._

Athrun stood in the sand, staring in the direction of the boathouse where Cagalli was now lost among the crowd. For all of his flings and his many summers of experience, nothing had prepared him for something like this. She didn't look or act like a 'lady', but she was the most beautiful girl he had ever met. He wanted desperately to know more about her. He wanted to know her intimately, but for the first time, his desires went beyond that. He wanted to know who she was, where she came from, what had happened in her past, and he wanted to know about her mother. Athrun packed up his chair and book and began the long walk back to his house. He looked up to the blue sky, lost in thought.

_Is it her? The one I can never save?_ All those other girls he had been with; he knew he meant nothing to them besides a summer fling. Even so, they were his only link to the outside world, the only way he could interact with people his own age in Archangel. Now though, that all seemed so petty. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind, a thousand different possible futures that had been catalyzed by his chance meeting with Cagalli. While his doubts and uncertainties were many, one thing was certain in Athrun's mind. This summer was going to be different. _I'm sorry Cagalli, but I want to see you again. No…I need to see you again._


	6. Chapter 6

***Note from the Author:**

**Hi everyone. I really wanted to get this chapter out before I move into my new apartment and lose the ability to write for a few days. To that end, if there are any stupid spelling or grammar mistakes I ask for your forgiveness. Thanks for sticking with me so far on this journey. I'm just as excited as you are for the next chapter. You guys rock!**

**Chapter 6**

The ride home for the girls was tense. As soon as Miriallia had brought Cagalli back, she told Lacus to pack things up and head back to the Jeep. She wouldn't say anything about what happened. Cagalli continued to look off into space or at the ground, all the while clutching her right forearm as if hiding a hideous scar. Lacus knew it was better than to ask there on the beach. There would be plenty of time for talk that night. "I'll drive." She said solemnly. "You stay in the back with her, alright?"

"Sure thing." Miriallia replied without emotion, throwing her the keys. "I hoped you enjoyed it today…it may be a few days before we come back." Oddly enough, this statement seemed to darken Cagalli's mood more than lighten it. From that point on, without knowing more, it was best just to shut up about everything. It was impossible to tell what Cagalli was thinking and what would swing her one way or another. After a few minutes in silence, Lacus pulled the Jeep into the driveway of the cabin.

"Cagalli, you go ahead. We'll bring in the beach stuff, ok?" Miriallia spoke to her softly. Cagalli looked up at her friend without really seeing her. She nodded blankly and headed inside, leaving Lacus and Miriallia to exchange worried glances. "So now will you tell me what the hell just happened?" Lacus said aggressively. "The way she's acting it's like she was raped or something!"

Miriallia put her hand on Lacus' shoulder, trying to calm her friend. It was clear she wanted to head right back to the beach and inflict pain upon whoever had done this to Cagalli. "I promise I'll tell you everything once we get inside. I just want to figure out where she is before I do. I don't want her to overhear us under any circumstances. Whatever happened between her and that guy…I don't want her to have to think of it again if she doesn't want to."

Lacus' eyes darkened immediately as she drew the bag of towels out of the trunk. "So it was a boy then. That's not good. She needs to ease back into it at some point, but whatever happened took her too far too fast. Tell me everything." Miriallia nodded quickly and they headed up the stone path to the cabin, leaving their gear by the entryway. Cagalli, as predicted, had gone back out to her favorite chair on the porch, leaving Lacus and Miriallia the entire house for their conversation. As with the day before, they chose the well-furnished living room to sit down and talk. This time though, Lacus made sure to sit in the chair on the other side of the couch so that she could give Miriallia an early warning if they were going to be interrupted. Mir lay down on the couch again facing Lacus and sighed deeply.

"So…where do you want me to start?"

"Well, all I know is that the two of you went to go play Frisbee and about half an hour later you came back with Cagalli looking like that and forgot about the Frisbee entirely."

"Oh shit. I guess we did forget it…oh well, we can always buy another."

"Mir! Get to the point!"

"Ok! Ok! Sorry. I'm just a little shocked too and was drifting off. Anyways, we were throwing just fine for a while, but then I skied one over her head. Being the headstrong girl she is, Cagalli tore after it, completely forgetting that this guy was sitting and reading at the edge of the beach." Miriallia had intentionally left out they misogynistic bit of the story, thinking it would detract from the point at hand.

"So let me guess, she just ran the guy over then?"

"No. He and I yelled at her at the same time and she stumbled and fell…right into his crotch basically." Lacus looked mortified, trying to imagine how awkward such a situation would be if she didn't possess her legendary confidence with men. _Of all the things to happen! Poor Cagalli._ Miriallia took her silence as a motion to continue.

"Yep!" She said in a slightly exasperated 'what can you do about it?' tone. "So there she is, face down in the sand having narrowly missed this guy. I couldn't hear anything, but they started talking briefly. It was maybe…fifteen or twenty seconds at the most before he stood up and pulled Cagalli up with him. That was when everything went to the dogs."

Lacus interrupted eager to know anything she could about the encounter. "So what did this guy look like anyways?"

"I told him he wouldn't be seeing us again this summer, for obvious reasons. So why does it matter."

"Miri, as much as I respect that and I'm sure Cagalli appreciates it too, I don't think we can really avoid somebody for an entire three months in this town, small as it is. If I know what he looks like at least we can avoid any awkward situations in the future."

"You mean like you hitting on him?" Mir narrowed her eyes.

"Possibly! If he's cute enough that is." The facepalm was an appropriate gesture for the situation. _Well, I suppose Lacus does have a point._ Miriallia pondered for a second. _Cagalli does come first but it's not like either Lacus or myself had planned on celibacy this summer. And what a shitshow that would be if Lacus and Athrun started hooking up. I think he would be hard pressed to resist her if she turned on the charm._ Mir looked back from the ceiling to Lacus with a pleading look in her eyes. She felt terrible about it, but it was gossip time.

"You need to promise you won't tell Cagalli any of this, got it?" Lacus responded by drawing her thumb and forefinger across her lips. _They're sealed_.

"Ok then…to be honest Lacus, he was the most attractive man I've ever seen in my life." Lacus' jaw dropped momentarily.

"Spill it Miri!" She recovered quickly, determined to hear every last juicy detail. The thrill of boy talk was hard to resist and with a hook like that, Lacus was hanging on Mir's every word.

"God, where do I even begin? Well, for starters, he was really well built. Not like muscly in the gym every day built, but it's clear that guy does a lot of manual labor. His abs are out of control." Lacus had an interesting look on her face. She was clearly intent on knowing more, but there was also concern. Miriallia had noticed but thought nothing of it, assuming the concern was directed at Cagalli. In reality, Lacus was worried about her. Mir continued.

"His face was…" She had to stop for a moment. Now that she thought about it, it was very difficult to describe his face. "Well he had soft features, but they were still manly as opposed to boyish. I know it doesn't help you much, but the best word to describe it would be to say he had a calm face with blue hair and really bright green eyes."

"Blue hair and green eyes?" Lacus cried out only to immediately be shushed by Miriallia who threw a nervous look behind her to see if Cagalli had moved. They were still in the clear.

"Yes, blue hair and green eyes. I couldn't tell if he had contacts in that changed his eye color, but his hair was naturally blue. There's no way that was a dye job."

"Stop fucking with me Mir, there's no way!"

"Says the naturally pink-haired princess?" That one got her. "Shall I continue?"

"There's more? I thought that was it! You told me about his looks. What more could you possibly know if you only interacted with him for a second?"

"Yes, in a normal case that would be it, but before I go back to what happened to Cagalli, there's one more thing I should probably mention."  
"And that is?" Lacus was on the edge of her seat now. After all of that, what could possibly be more exciting?

"The book he was reading, I recognized it from my lab. It's a 700 level text on mechanical engineering. Whoever this guy is…he's really bloody smart too. I don't know what kind of guy comes all the way out to Archangel to read a textbook, but there it is. Totally weird right?"

"So he's fit, handsome and smart? Because correct me if I'm wrong Miri, but you seem to be telling me that Cagalli fell face first into the crotch of the perfect man. Did you get his name?"

"You don't know that Lacus, he could be a total jerk in person, but it's hard to say just from today. He said his name was Athrun Zala."

"Well, if it weren't for what happened to Cagalli, I would totally be going after this Athrun guy. But I don't think that would be a good idea for either of us."

"No, you're definitely right about that." Miriallia's reply made Lacus smile. The last thing her delicate operation needed was interference from a boy of that caliber. _There will be time for Miri later though; I still need to figure out what happened to Cagalli._

"Ok then, so she stumbles into this guy, they exchange a few words; he helps her up and then what?"

"Well that's where it got really weird. When they first spoke, I couldn't hear anything because neither of them was yelling. Neither seemed upset. But then suddenly Cagalli yelled at him to stop. I guess she meant to get him to stop touching her, but it's not like he grabbed her ass or anything, it was just her arm."

"That's the arm she was holding like it was broken I assume?"

"Yep. So Athrun let go pretty quick as I ran up to them. Maybe I was hasty, but Cagalli looked like she was trying her hardest to become invisible so I assumed he had said or done something pretty bad. I basically told him off and that was that. To be honest, now that I think about it, he looked more concerned than anything else. I was really harsh with him." Miriallia's face became glummer as she relived the situation in her head. _Boy, I was a bit of a jerk. I thought he must have actively tried to hurt her. Maybe he really was just as confused as we are now._

"So you're afraid you may have been in the wrong here?" Lacus sat up, resting her elbows on her knees and looking her friend straight in the eyes. "Look Miri, you protected Cagalli from something she wasn't capable of handling. To be honest, Athrun knows more about this situation than the both of us and he was still confused. You did what you could with what you knew. You're a good person Miri. Like I said before, I'm sure we will see Athrun again and you can apologize to him."

"That may have been a bit much." Miriallia's voice was happier as she managed a small smile. "But it means a lot. Thank you Lacus. I wish I could tell you more but that's all I saw. Poor Cagalli…and poor Athrun for that matter. I guess there's no way he could know her history just by looking at her. What in the world did he say to her?"

Lacus didn't answer. The two girls stared out the window at their friend, hoping that time would illuminate the mystery surrounding the beach encounter.

Dinner that night was a muted affair. Lacus and Miriallia, looking for a distraction, decided to cook. Since Cagalli had remained outside except to come inside and get a beer, there had been nothing new on that topic. As a result, both Miriallia and Lacus slipped back to the earlier events of that day, meaning that dinner was both prepared and eaten pretty much in silence. No one was volunteering any information on anything. Afterwards, the three managed to find a half-decent comedy on TV. At the very least it took their minds off of the various forces that were tugging at their minds and hearts.

Mentally exhausted, Lacus and Miriallia went straight to bed after the movie. Neither was going to confront the other about what had happened that day. It was too much to consider. Miriallia had a mental block towards that sort of thing that only came down when she was drunk. She was even further away from accepting the idea that love between girls was even possible. Lacus had never intended things to go as they had and certainly wasn't going to push things now. They turned away from each other and went to sleep, thankful for the space afforded to each of them by the king size mattress. Cagalli however, was very far from sleep.

Standing at her bedroom window she looked at the crescent moon rising above the far side of the lake, casting a thin ray of white light across the surface like the wake of a torpedo. Looking back down at her arm, everything from that day came flooding back for the umpteenth time. Athrun's body, his voice, his face, his eyes, his touch; they all ran through her senses again. She knew he wasn't there anymore, but her heart made it real. Her mind was screaming at her. The boy was dangerous, he was an unknown. He could hurt her like Alex had. And yet, in spite of herself, she willed herself to relive the warm feeling of his hand on her arm.

_What's going on with me?_ Cagalli thought as a faint remnant of the pins and needles from before arose on her arm. _No matter which way you look at it, I'm having the absolute worst reaction to this. Part of me is saying avoid Athrun like the plague. The other half wants to just leap into his arms. There's no middle ground! It hasn't been that long technically, but I feel like I've gone forever without a man's touch. Well, that's not true either…it's the touch of a man who loves me that I need. Why couldn't I have just acted like a normal girl! First I decided to yell at him and then I acted like he was cursed or on fire or something, withdrawing from him like that. What the hell do I do?_

A single tear formed in each of Cagalli's eyes, reflecting the moonlight as they fell onto her hands. For so many years, her defenses had helped her survive in the absence of warmth and love. Her entire subconscious became accustomed to a solitary existence and hardwired itself to maintain that solitude. At least it meant safety. Lacus and Miriallia had broken through some of it, but female interaction was far different from male interaction. A powerful fortress still remained around Cagalli's capacity to love. Alex had been close to breaking down the walls, but instead they were fortified anew thanks to his infidelity. The results were pretty clear in light of what had happened earlier.

_I just can't do it. I wouldn't be able to face him normally. I'd end up trying to push him away. And when that fails, I would run just like I tried to today. Mom, how I wish you were here right now. You'd know what to do. You'd know how to act. You'd be able to chase away my fears. But you aren't here anymore, and there's no one left who can. Not even Mir and Lacus combined can beat this. I'm sorry Athrun. I'm not worth your time. Just let me be…at least no one will get hurt._

Curling up under the covers, Cagalli's mind repeated over and over: _at least no one will be hurt._ And yet here she was, hurting infinitely, wishing that someone could smash down those walls and let her interact with Athrun normally. The will was there, but against ten years of conditioning, her own will was not going to be enough. But even when the will fails, hope is a powerful force that cannot so easily be destroyed. That hope beyond hope that somehow Athrun felt as she did allowed Cagalli her first dreamless sleep in a month. _Athrun, what are you thinking right now?_

Across the lake, Athrun lay in his bed tossing and turning. He was dreaming again. Clad in crimson armor, he crept through a dead and decaying forest. They were close. He could smell the sulfur and brimstone in the air. Readying his crossbow, he crept to the edge of the clearing from which a dark yellow light was emanating. He had seen the scene many times before. It was a festival of evil and debauchery. He saw various demons and succubi performing all nature of lewd acts, reveling in what was soon to come. Their howls and sick laughter filled the air. Athrun shook nervously. It wasn't the orgy before him that got to him. He dreaded what was yet to come. It was one of _those_ nights.

Loading a clip of bolts, he hesitated. He knew his attempts would be futile, but he had to try again. He had to save her. Athrun looked up at the far end of the clearing where a girl hung from a giant metal cross jutting up from a dark lake, clad in nothing but a white sheet. _Maybe today I can save her. I have to try. If I don't…No!_ That was too gruesome to think about.

Taking aim at a lesser demon who was viciously pounding a succubus, Athrun pulled the trigger. His face stoic, he fired again and again. One by one, the demons fell before him, snuffed out of existence by green blazes of light. The crossbow clicked in protest as he ran out of ammunition. Too impatient to reload, he tossed it aside in favor of the sword and shield strapped to his back. This part was his favorite. He pulled down his visor and charged headlong into the confused rabble. In a blaze of yellow light, his sword flashed through the demonic horde, ripping them to pieces. None of them were a match for him. He looked through his visor as the last few demons grouped together to oppose him. _Perfect._ He smiled inside his helmet. "Come on then you pathetic excuses for monsters!"

Holding his sword behind him and his shield in a protective stance, Athrun waited patiently as the demons surrounded him, hoping to overwhelm him. "Now die." He spat at them and spun quickly, liberating their heads from their bodies with a circular strike. The grunts dispatched, he holstered his arms and surveyed the destruction around him. The demons' faces were typical, horns, narrow eyes, red skin, etc. The females however, he had seen before.

A putrid gurgling met his ears as he walked up to one of the downed succubi. Her body was…devilishly attractive Athrun thought. Her curves were in all the right places, the lack of clothing leaving nothing to the imagination. Her round ass and substantial rack were tainted by a dark purple skin tone, a spade tipped tail, and leathery wings. She was undeniably beautiful if you discounted the sword wound that pierced her chest. Even with it, Athrun felt a significant temptation to allow her to take him to a hell of pleasure. It was her face that held his gaze. It was the face of a girl he had dated and screwed around with last summer. Even with the demonic horns and scales accenting her cheeks, it was unmistakable. Suddenly, Athrun didn't feel so horny anymore. His bloodlust was receding and he remembered why he was there…why she was there. She spoke at him through a mouthful of dark blood.

"So sweetie, come to play the shining knight again? Like you did with me? Oh, I see you remember then, how you swept me off my feet." She coughed again before continuing. Athrun took off his helm, his blue hair framing a look of disgust and shame on his face.

"I killed you last time."

"Silly boy, you can't kill me. I'm a part of you…all of us here. We are all a part of you. And yet you fight us so hard. Next time, why don't you just submit?" Even on death's door, her voice was seductive enough to make Athrun question the reason he had come. She was kind enough to remind him.

"Next time come find me Athrun. Come find me without those weapons. I'd love to taste your other sword again."

"Shut up! You were the one who left Archangel! Not me!" Athrun bellowed at her, stepping on her wound, making her cry out in pain.

"Say whatever you want darling, but it's your own chains that kept you from following me, that kept you from saving me. And they will keep you from her too." Her life was fading as she motioned towards the pale figure on the cross.

"Next time…embrace me…like you *cough* used to. Maybe she…can *cough* join us."

"Die damn it." Athrun whispered as the last breath of life left the demon. Much as he hated to admit it, the bitch was right. He had seen it himself. He had been there when they turned her. When she was strapped to that metal cross he did nothing, he could do nothing. She, like so many others, had been corrupted and turned. The army of his past grew every summer and he was powerless to stop it.

He turned his heel in the dirt to face the cross again. It was just him now; just him and that evil lake, the eternal backdrop on which these girls were made into monsters. He walked into the water to the base of the metallic structure and yelled a challenge.

"Come out and face me! I know you're here!"

"Heh heh heh…" A deep, sinister voice echoed all around him. The evil presence growled at him again. "I do not need to come out foolish boy. You need look no further than your reflection!"

At these words, dark fire shot out of the lake and wrapped around Athrun's limbs. The demonic magic solidified into chains which hoisted him in the air, face to face at the sacrifice before him. Athrun looked away, not wanting to stare into the face of whoever this was. It was only the beginning of the summer, so it wouldn't be a girl he knew personally, but that didn't change what was about to happen. He closed his eyes as the same dark magic rose out of the lake and shredded the clothing from the girl's body. He couldn't look. _Just let this be over soon, please._

Even though he wasn't watching, Athrun knew what about to happen. He had seen it many times before. The tendrils of smoke would creep slowly up the metal and attach to the girl's wrists and ankles. From there, the taint would spread. Her hands and feet grew claws and sharp nails. The purplish smoke would spread across her skin. Her arms would become slender and toned while her thighs became larger and voluptuous. As it spread further, the girl's waist would narrow while her chest and butt expanded. Often, a trail of clear liquid would begin to drip down her leg, smelling of tainted sex. The magic finished its foul work at the head. Athrun figured it was so that the innocent girl could fully comprehend her doom until the very end when her brain itself would become warped and twisted. By the end, she became a cunning and depraved sex demoness…a succubus. She would become a matron of the demon army Athrun continually warred against in his dreams.

Athrun couldn't help but recall the first time he had witnessed the atrocity. He had cried out "Why are you doing this? Let her go damn it! It's me you want, right? So let her go!"

"Oh no Athrun." The evil voice chuckled for the first time. "It's not that I want you. It's that _you_ want _this_. Look at her. I know you remember her face. Elizabeth was her name, was it not? You took her for your own. You ravaged her. You took from her what she held most precious. You slaked your thirst and satisfied your hunger deep within her. This is simply the conclusion of that path you foolish boy. She is gone from you now. It is only fitting that this succubus is all that remains. It was your lust that corrupted her!"

After that, the demon Elizabeth took him into her. She fucked him furiously with inhuman strength, laughing sweetly into his ear all the while. Her claws raked across his chest, leaving fine lines of blood. He tried to fight it, but as she continued his mind clouded with a hot haze until he was gladly sucking on her enlarged breasts as she offered them to him with a devilish grin. The succubus cried out in ecstasy as he grabbed her wide hips and slammed her down onto him, emptying his seed into her hellish womb. "Yes! YES! Give it to me Athrun; just like you did when I was human. Hahahahaha!"

He woke in a cold sweat shortly afterwards, but when he next returned to the dream world he saw what his depraved act had wrought. Elizabeth had given birth to a litter of hellspawn. Athrun was no longer needed. Each time he returned, their incestuous orgy would swell the ranks of the army of his past sins. His attempts at love mocked him continually in their twisted forms. As time went on, his mind would arm him with armor and weapons but it made no difference. Any demons he killed would simply be replaced the next time he dreamed. He enjoyed those dreams though: the dreams where he slew the parts of his past that haunted him. But every so often, there would be a dream like the one he was having now: a true nightmare. The nightmare when the demons added to their ranks not through birth, but through corruption.

As he heard the hissing from the lake below, Athrun knew it was about to happen again. He closed his eyes and prayed for it to be over soon. At least the victims were silent…unless of course they had been strictly fuck buddies, in which case hideous and triumphant laughter met his ears.

"No…" A faint whisper met Athrun's ears, causing his eyes to snap open wide with fright. This had never happened before. No one ever fought. _It couldn't be her. NO!_

"Athrun…help me…" He looked up into amber eyes and screamed as if his own life was ending.

The dark walls of his cabin slowly came into focus as Athrun waited for his eyes to adjust to the twilight. _Why is this happening now? I just met her. _He rolled over to check his watch on the bedside table. _Five in the morning…damn. There's no way I'm going back to sleep after that. I think it's time for another walk. Where the hell is Odin? He's been gone for half a week now and these maintenance trips get lonely without him. Oh well, I suppose I could use a bit of that loneliness now. Hopefully Cagalli doesn't miss me too much. Heh, like she would after what happened yesterday._

Athrun kicked the covers off and dressed quickly with a dejected look on his face. Clad in jeans, boots and a white t-shirt, he grabbed a power bar and ate it quickly while preparing a large pack that sat in his entryway. About fifteen minutes later, he locked his door and headed out into the wilderness. _I think I'll circle two hundred yards from the bank this time. I did one hundred yards last time and didn't really find anything amiss. This is just to be safe. _

Usually these walks were something that Athrun looked forward to. He got to be out in the forest with Odin and away from the crowds. What's more, he could help Mwu and Murrue out by ensuring that nothing odd happened in the wilderness around Archangel. Sometimes it was wild animals, sometimes it was hooligans trying to light things on fire, and sometimes Athrun just had a camping trip where nothing went wrong. This was a first though. For once Athrun wanted nothing more than to go back to the beach. If his dream was any indication though, Cagalli was already hurting inside. He would have to save her from more than himself if he dared. He snapped a twig under his boot as he trudged along one of the many paths he had made for himself over the years.

"Fuck."


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all for waiting patiently! As always, please review and recommend to your friends. You guys rock. Hope you enjoy!**

**-lastamaranth**

**Chapter 7**

A soft light slowly filled Cagalli's room the next morning. Trying to battle through a thin layer of low-lying clouds, the sun could not assault her eyes directly. Instead, Cagalli was brought slowly back to consciousness by the ever-brightening glow of filtered light. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking away the sleep. She felt…good; really really good. Stretching with a contented sigh, she threw the covers off and hopped onto the fuzzy, carpeted floor. _Man, it's amazing what sleep will do when you aren't being crushed and corrupted by a dozen shadow monsters. Thanks Athrun…at least I think that's who deserves credit. _She looked at herself in the mirror in the bathroom again. There was a natural happiness about her face and a glint in her eyes that she hadn't seen for a long time. It was still fragile, but Cagalli had the resolve. If Athrun reached out again, she didn't want to shy away. _I want to know more about him._

Cagalli dressed quickly, throwing on a sleeveless t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Once the sun burned through the cloud cover over the lake, it would undoubtedly be another hot day. It was still early, but she wanted to do quite a bit that day and there was no reason to slouch about. The sooner she could put her mind at ease, the sooner she would feel comfortable heading back to the beach.

Oddly enough, Cagalli was greeted by an empty kitchen when she stepped off the stairway. _Hrrrm. Now this is something I haven't seen in while. I wonder what's going on with them. Maybe it has something to do with yesterday and how they were acting weird. Now that I've calmed down they're probably back to thinking about whatever it was that got them all awkward. Oh well, best give them some space. _It had been customary in college for Lacus and/or Miriallia to sleep in whenever they were in a funk. With no obligations for the next three months, there was certainly nothing preventing them from doing so this time around.

Cagalli shrugged as she opened the fridge, grabbing an apple and the milk. "Oh well, I suppose that's just another reason to get out of here. I totally missed my opportunity to get any more information out of Mir because of the whole Athrun debacle. I guess I'll just have to wait for it to come out on its own." She mused quietly to herself as she poured a bowl of cereal and milk. "Come on, stupid door. Just open already!" She finally yanked the refrigerator door open to replace the carton and sat down to eat.

Finishing her breakfast quickly, Cagalli grabbed a notepad and pen from one of the drawers on the center island. Neither Lacus nor Mir had woken up yet, so she wanted to be sure they knew where she was. _Lacus and Mir, I decided to take a walk into town today just to check out the strip. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but I have my cell if you need to reach me. Hope you guys are feeling better. It's not like you to be awake after me. I'm doing much better. See you later!_

Cagalli walked out the door, closing it softly so as to not wake her friends. She looked up to the sky to see rays of sun begin to poke through. She inhaled deeply and felt like life itself was flowing through her. "Alright! Let's go find some dirt on Zala!" _But where do I start?_

Fortunately for Cagalli, she had about half an hour to think about this conundrum on her way into town. She stared around absentmindedly as she walked along the trail that ran alongside the road all the way back into town. There was a small but steadily increasing stream of cars headed to the beach and boathouse, but it was easy to tune them out. Instead, Cagalli couldn't help but admire the forest of tall pines to her left in contrast with the deep blue lake to her right. The tree line seemed to absorb the noises coming from the road, lending the shadowed area a soft silence. Cagalli felt it was like a reflection of her inner self. There were still dark places, but they were calm and silent…safe.

Cagalli smiled to herself. It had been a long time since she had felt so confident. Not knowing where to start made no difference. As she came around a curve in the road the strip came into view about two hundred yards away. _Ok, as good as this feels, I really should focus. What do I actually know about him? I know his name and I know that his mother died too. That really doesn't give me much. Well, I suppose I do know he was reading at the beach, which was a bit strange. That and he was reading at the beach alone. That's even more out of the ordinary. Unless…he's not a tourist. Athrun probably lives here in Archangel! Ok soooo, where do people live here full time then? I've only ever seen the cabins. _

By now, Cagalli had arrived at the edge of town. The sounds of the beach met her ears: laughter, splashing, sizzling meat on a grill, the occasional cry of a gull. Reaching the middle of the main street, Cagalli looked around. She saw an ice cream shop, a beach supply store and a small pharmacy on her side of the road, with an Italian restaurant across the street. Looking up the hill, she could just make out the top of the general store. _I'll be they live here too! That just might work!_ Cagalli thought as she turned to head up the hill, feeling a small burn in her calves as she climbed. _Man, I need to get in shape._

It was around 10:30 when Cagalli walked in. There were only a handful of people in the store, so there would be no problem picking out the owners if only she could figure out what to say. _I can't just say tell 'me about Athrun', that's so weird and stalkerish! What else can I do though? It's not like I've ever spoken to these people before…_

"Can I help you miss?" A kind voice came from behind her.

Cagalli jumped. Apparently she had been staring at the same loaf of bread for too long and the owner of the store had noticed. "Oh! Sorry, uh…actually yeah. There was something I wanted to know." The blond haired man looked at her warmly, encouraging her to continue. She felt uneasy, but there was no other way.

"I was wondering if you knew someone."

"Well, I might. But you'll have to be more specific than that." He chuckled.

"He has blue hair and green eyes. His name is Athrun." Suddenly the man wasn't smiling anymore. _Well here we go again. I wonder what she wants with him._ He thought.

"My name's Mwu by the way."

"Cagalli Autha." The man looked at her inquisitively. _At least she was straight with her name._

"Well then Cagalli, why do you want to know about Athrun?"

"So he does live in Archangel then?"

_Damn it, what is this girl getting at? I've never seen any of them come on like this._

"Yes…yes he does." Mwu responded hesitantly. "Is that all you wanted to know?"

"No. I…well, he told me…"

"Yes?"

"He told me his mother had died. I wanted to know how." Cagalli could tell she had shocked Mwu with this admission and attempted to soften her statement. "I, well, I also lost my mom so I…"

Mwu cut her off.

"What are your intentions regarding Athrun?"

Cagalli blushed. _What ARE my intentions with him anyways?_ "Uh, um, I don't know to be honest. We only met yesterday. He seemed nice and I was hoping to know more about him." _Where did that come from Cagalli? Let's just be totally honest with this guy you've never before who is clearly not OK with this whole conversation. That's a great idea._ Her honesty seemed to pay off though as Mwu's face softened.

"I see. Well then Miss Cagalli, I can tell you about Athrun but I think it's up to him to tell you about his parents. Sound good?"

It was better than nothing. "Ok then."

"Would you like to sit down? Something tells me you didn't come here to shop."

"Um, yeah, sure. That would be great, thank you."

Mwu led Cagalli to the front of the store where they sat on a couple of chairs behind the register. Mwu leaned back and continued.

"Before I say anything, I should warn you. Do not take advantage of Athrun or you'll have me to deal with. Ok?"

"Uh…" Cagalli blushed. _What do you say to that?_ Mwu's smiled though.

"Don't worry. Based on your reaction and the fact that you're here at all I can tell you have no intention to. But that's why I'm telling you this in the first place. He may exude confidence, but on the inside Athrun is often in pain."

"Because of his parents?" If that was the case, Cagalli wouldn't need to hear any more. She knew that pain. But Mwu continued.

"Well, I suppose that was the beginning. He told you as much, so I don't mind telling you that Athrun's parents are indeed gone from this world. They were one of the few families who lived here year round like me and my wife. So in addition to not having his parents around, Athrun also had very little interaction with people his own age. Growing up like that will inevitably change a person."

"So…he doesn't like people?"

"Oh no Cagalli, you misunderstand me. It's the exact opposite. Athrun loves human interaction. Lord knows he's had so little of it compared to someone like you." _That's not necessarily a good thing. _Cagalli though, but she let Mwu finish his though.

"As you've probably guessed, the summer is the only time that happens. The problem with the summer is that very few people are interested in friendship or true romance. They want more physical and less emotional."

Cagalli was coming along quickly now. "So he looks for interaction and companionship, but ends up with more superficial relationships?"

"Exactly. At the end of each summer, he always gets very depressed as you might imagine. Usually, it's just because everyone leaves and his life becomes very solitary. It's hard to avoid all emotional attachment, especially for him since it forms so easily. There was a particularly rough summer though, five years ago. He didn't just mourn a girl's departure. He was angry he couldn't go with her."

"But I thought you said that sort of thing didn't happen here."

"Are you here to fuck around Cagalli?"

She blushed again, replying with indignation. "Of course not!"

"Well, you aren't alone. Every so often, people like you do come to Archangel. And once, Athrun fell in love. I don't know the details, but the break wasn't pretty. Since then, he's been very jaded when it comes to relationships with other women. He acts like any other boy who comes up here looking to score, even though I know he wants something else. You can see it when they leave that he had hoped for something more."

"Well, why didn't he just go with her? He did love her, right?"

Mwu rested in silence for a while, stroking his chin slowly. Cagalli waited patiently for him to find the right words.

"I'm not sure why Cagalli, but for some reason Athrun seems incapable of leaving Archangel. It may have something to do with his parents, but that's just a guess. He even went so far as to wire his own cabin with fiber optic cables."

"You'll have to explain that last one."

"Oh, of course. My apologies. Athrun wired his own home to receive internet just so that he could get an undergraduate degree online without leaving this town. The point is that he's gone to amazing lengths to stay here, even though it's clearly hurting him to do so." Mwu finished and gave Cagalli a serious but unimposing look. It was a symbol of trust to go with all of the information he had just given her.

"I'm very grateful Mr. La Flaga- "

"Please just call me Mwu. That makes me feel old and I'm not quite ready for that yet!"

Cagalli smiled. This was clearly a good man. Maybe even the kind who would take a laser for you in a mobile suit. "Then thank you Mwu, but why tell me all of this?"

"Because if you're willing to volunteer something about your own past such as the death of your mother in order to learn more about another person, then you probably care for that person. It may be selfish of me to ask you of this, but Athrun could use someone like you in his life. The past few years haven't been easy on him and I fear he may be losing faith in himself or humanity, or maybe both."

Cagalli looked down to the floor, blushing a third time. _Now that's a role I just can't play. I need my own savior…_

"I'm sorry Mwu, but I think I've already lost some of mine. I wish there were more people around like you. Now if you'll excuse me, I should be going." She stood and walked out into the hot sun.

Back inside, Murrue walked up to Mwu, wrapping her arms around his chest from behind and placing a kiss on his cheek. "Sweetie, are you sure it was ok to tell her about all of that. Basically the only thing you left out was the accident and us. Well that and his address."

"Well I can't hide anything from you I see. Not that I was trying to of course." He turned and quickly returned her kiss with one on the lips, looking into her eyes. "I think she's someone who can help him. I just sensed it."

"That's where you might be wrong Mwu. I think he will help her more than she knows."

"Can we both be right?"

"If this is any indication, we probably won't be seeing Athrun on Friday. I'm sure he's on one of his walks, thinking about her. The way they met was clearly out of the ordinary. Let's hope they meet again." Murrue finished as the two watched the blonde walk across their parking lot and disappear behind the hill.

_Well that was a hell of a lot more than I bargained for, but it does explain what I observed yesterday. _Cagalli thought._ At least now I know I should stay away from him. There's no way I can help him with myself in this state. Something like yesterday would happen eventually and I'd just hurt him again by pushing him away. There's no way he could go slow enough over the course of just a summer. If it took me two years to fully open up before…what could I possibly do in three months._

Cagalli's mind continued its campaign to keep her away from Athrun and safe from potential harm. Her heart however, was resisting. The butterflies were back. Even if every rational thought pointed to avoiding the boy with the green eyes, somehow Cagalli knew that wasn't an option. If it was destined, surely they would meet again and she would try to be ready. _Athrun, where are you now?_

Back at the cabin, not much had changed from the night before. While Cagalli's note was heartening, Lacus and Miriallia were still at an impasse regarding the previous day's events. Neither was willing to talk about it. Lacus sat playing with her hair while Miriallia read a magazine. She couldn't take her eyes off of the brunette. _I need to know what's going on in her head. I need to know how bad it is. _Miriallia had hoped Lacus hadn't heard, but there was no way she could have missed it. _'We can't…' That's what she said after I touched her like that. I'm sure that's what she said. I need to find out why…but how?_ There was only one plan Lacus could think of, but it was the oldest trick in the book. Lacus hoped Miriallia would be too distracted to notice the feint.

Pulling her phone from her pocket, Lacus furrowed her brow. _Please let this work!_ She went into the phone settings and selected her ringtone. The living room was filled with the phonographic version of Pachelbel's Canon. Lacus quickly shut it off and brought the phone to her ear as Miriallia looked up from her reading for a moment, sensing something amiss. _Who the hell is calling her? Everyone knows we're out of town for the summer._ Lacus answered the fake call.

"Hello…

Oh hey! What's going on…

What's wrong? You sound terrible…

No sure, I have a minute. Let me just go outside for a second."

Lacus went out to the porch and sat down in one of the deck chairs so that Miriallia couldn't see her. _I can see why Cagalli likes it out here. It's quite a pretty view. Now then, what do I actually say?_ To keep up the ruse Lacus kept the phone to her ear and occasionally gesticulated, unsure if she was being watched. _This story has to be foolproof…_

A few minutes later, Lacus walked back into the cabin. She sat back down sighing heavily and looking at the ground. "What do I do…" she whispered just loud enough for Miriallia to hear.

"What's wrong Lacus? Who was that?"

"I can't say…it wouldn't be right." Her voice trailed off. The web she was about to weave was a complex mixture or fiction and reality. The details may not have been true, but the core of what Lacus was about to say was very, very real. Miriallia cocked an eyebrow, waiting for Lacus to continue.

"It was one of my friends from a capella, but she doesn't want anyone to know so I can't say her name."

"Doesn't want anyone to know what?" Miriallia asked with a hint of annoyance in her voice. It wasn't like Lacus to be this evasive. Lacus looked up at her friend with blank eyes. She couldn't believe she was actually about to do this. It wasn't direct as she would have hoped, but that was impossible. Putting a hand to her temple she thought for a second. _I'm about to come out to my best friend…fate help me._

"She's a lesbian." Lacus continued to stare at Mir, looking for a reaction in her eyes. Putting down the magazine, Miriallia looked at the wall and then the ceiling with conflicted eyes.

"So what does that have to do with you Lacus?"

"I'm the only one who knows. She hasn't even told her parents yet. I don't know what to say to her. What do I do Miri?"

Miriallia sighed and looked at her friend. She tried to smile but just couldn't. Everything in the last 24 hours had been focused on this one issue and she was at her breaking point. "I don't know Lacus. Just be supportive I guess. I doubt many other people will."

"That's an awful thing to say."

"But it's true. It's not natural."

Lacus recoiled, taken aback by her friend's steadfast declaration. "How is it unnatural?"

"Are you kidding Lacus? Women are supposed to fall in love with men, not with each other!" Miriallia raised her voice just a bit. Suddenly she felt under attack as Lacus' cold gaze pierced her.

"And who decides that? That sounds like a decision best left to the person. You hate broccoli and you love radishes. I'm sure there's someone else in the world who likes the exact opposite. What if that person were to come up to you and tell you that only men should like radishes?"

"That's not the same thing at all Lacus! Besides, if it were natural they wouldn't reproduce and eventually there wouldn't be any more of them. Am I wrong?"

"How is it not the same? You can't control your taste in food or music any more than you can control what appears beautiful to you. You can't control who you fall in love with Mir. Just try it sometime. I don't think you'll be able to. Maybe you can kid yourself for a while. Some people do it for years. But in the end you're only lying to yourself. And don't give me that pseudo-scientific excuse. If you told a straight man to stop going after girls and start going after men you would get punched in the face. Being gay is just as strong an impulse for some people. They can't see the world any other way."

This was getting way too close to home for Miriallia. She was sitting bolt upright with a nasty look in her eyes. Her tone was fierce and defensive.

"How the hell would you know Lacus? And what's all that worth if everyone you know hates you? Maybe that's what you should tell this girl. She has a big choice to make. If she wants to go and live like that she needs to accept the fact that it's an affront to God, she will never have a real family of her own and in all likelihood her own family will disown her." That was a step too far. Lacus' heart was breaking. Not because of what it meant for her, but because of what this meant for Miriallia. Her voice was ice and stone.

"I think we're done here Miriallia." She had not called her Miriallia in a very long time.

"I'd prefer if you didn't bring this up again around me. Ok?"

"Fine."

Lacus remained silent as she reflected on the last couple of years. The final pieces were falling into place. Lacus had visited the Hawe family a few times each summer when she and Mir returned from school. They were a very nice family, but they were also very religious. Multiple crucifixes adorned walls in their home and they said grace before every meal without exception. They volunteered in the community and were well respected members on both the school board and within the church. To the outside observer, Lacus included, it was hard to find a family deserving of more admiration and respect in their community. However, all light casts a shadow. Lacus was standing firmly within the shadow of intolerance.

It had begun the first time she and Miriallia had drunkenly kissed in sophomore year on a dare from some foolish frat boy too scared to try himself. It had taken them both by surprise, so Lacus talked to Mir the next day after they had recovered from the hangovers. The girls established ground rules that seemed to work for all of the involved parties. If they wanted to they would make out and maybe get closer, but the clothes would always stay on and boys always came first. That should have been the long and short of it, but Lacus noticed a change in both herself and Miriallia as time went on. It was very gradual at first but became more apparent as time went on that Mir was not as excited to go home as she should have been. In freshman year, before the kiss, she couldn't wait for the year to be over. She was almost skipping in the airport with Lacus as they boarded their plane for home. In sophomore year, going to the airport and packing everything up suddenly became a chore that Mir hated.

Junior year was different entirely. By then, Lacus had felt stirrings within her. Sex with guys was still fun and could be thrilling, but nothing compared to the feeling of Miriallia's soft lips on hers. It was like kissing a semi-solid. She hated the description but there was no other way. Mir was a firm kisser and always engaged Lacus passionately with both her lips and tongue. In spite of the force, their lips seemed to meld together as their tongues glided over one another. Lacus always wondered how there could be so little resistance and yet so much force and passion. It would set her body on fire. As time went on, she found she had to constantly restrain herself. She wanted so badly to go further and bring ecstasy to her best friend and to herself, but Mir made no outward indication of wanting to do so.

Shortly before the end of junior year, Lacus noticed Miriallia's mood had soured. Whatever had happened, Mir would not talk about it. Lacus was lost until she found an LGBT pamphlet under Mir's bed. Until then, Miriallia had maintained the outward appearance of a good Christian girl from the Midwest. She wasn't hostile to it, but she certainly would never have been caught associating with anything that involved LGBT in public. Lacus remembered the surge of fear and hope that took hold of her when she found that flimsy piece of paper.

Coming back to herself, sitting in the cabin, Lacus connected all of the dots. Miriallia had gone upstairs to continue reading uninterrupted, leaving the pink-haired girl to her contemplations. _So that's what it is then. Miriallia is confused. She's going through what I did back in junior year. Except my mom and dad were wonderful to me and accepted me as is. Geez, I still can't believe they said I should be sure to check the IQ of the eventual sperm donor. How embarrassing! In any case, Miriallia probably talked with her parents about it too at the end of junior year. That was why she was in so much of a funk that even Cagalli picked up on it! I doubt she said anything personal, but I'm sure they made it pretty clear that being a lesbian wasn't an option if you wanted to be a part of their household. Her explosion today confirms that. _

Lacus sunk into the chair and slouched, sighing heavily. Miriallia was a lesbian, or at the very least she was bisexual. That much was clear. But she was denying it with every fabric of her being. It all made sense. Her reaction the Lacus' touch the day before, the fact that they hadn't made out in more than six months, her statement of 'we can't', and all those times she had mentioned how excited she was to find a guy at Archangel. _When Cagalli wasn't around…of course. She's terrified of having to choose between being true to herself and having a family that accepts her so she's just going to keep trying to hook up with guys until she likes it…or convinces herself that she does. Oh Miri, I'm so sorry._

Lacus' vision blurred as tears began to flow from her deep blue eyes. She cried softly, terrified of the future. There was no denying it. She loved Miriallia with all of her heart. She wanted her body and soul. And yet, because of the certainty of her love, their friendship would change forever. Based on their conversation, there was a good chance it would be permanently destroyed. The thought was too much to bear with dry eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

***Author's Note**

** So I figured I should add a disclaimer here after consulting with a friend who knows law. The following statement applies to all previous and subsequent chapters of this story: The Boy of Summer.**

**I do not own Gundam SEED or any associated characters, names, locations, etc. The remainder of the story including plot and creative expression is the sole property of the author, lastamaranth. Duplication or replication without the author's prior consent is prohibited. Thank you and enjoy!**

**Chapter 8**

Cagalli arrived home to find the Jeep missing. Thinking Lacus and Mir had gone somewhere, she went around to the back porch. Upon arrival though, Cagalli found Lacus sitting in her customary chair with slightly red and puffy eyes and a brooding look on her face. It was quite apparent that whatever was going on between her friends had gotten worse, not better. _I missed it again! Darn it._

"Lacus…do you want to talk about it?"

"Oh, Cagalli!" She was a bit surprised, not suspecting she would be interrupted. The view had a tendency to take you away. "Not yet, I'm sorry. This is something you can't help with now."

"I'm here when you need me Lacus."

"Thank you Cagalli. Same here of course. Where did you go today anyways?"

"I went into town for a bit. I ended up at the general store."

"If you wanted to go shopping you should have taken the Jeep. I'm sure Mir would have lent it to you." Lacus' use of Mir as opposed to Miri didn't go unnoticed. _It's not like Lacus deserves to be in the dark about this Athrun thing; might as well let her know what went on. If telling her about today can distract her from Miriallia, I should do. _It wasn't that Cagalli took relish in the problems of her best friends, but she did enjoy the idea that she could return the favors that they had done for her. She enjoyed the idea of being someone else's rock for a change.

"I didn't go shopping. I went looking for information…about a boy."

Lacus knew about Athrun, but Cagalli's admission was still a shock. The far off look in her face cleared immediately. She was focused and alert now. Looking Cagalli straight in the eye, she tried to be as tactful as possible.

"This doesn't have anything to do with…uh…yesterday, does it?" _I hope I didn't go too far with that._ Lacus thought as she waited for Cagalli's reaction. Surprisingly, her blonde haired friend didn't seem fazed at all. She actually smiled at her!

"The same boy."

"Oh my god, Cagalli! Are you insane!" Cagalli laughed at Lacus' concern only because she would have said the same thing.

"I know Lacus, it may be insane. But at the same time, I don't think I was fair to him. I want to give him a chance and I thought being familiar with him was the best way. I asked the couple who run the general store about him and they told me a few things. It's no guarantee that I won't fail or sabotage it, but I'm trying not to." Lacus couldn't contain herself. Excitement was in the air and she momentarily forgot about her forbidden love for Miriallia.

"So tell me about Athrun then!" Cagalli cocked an eyebrow as Lacus blew her cover.

"How did you know?"

"Yeah…sorry Cagalli. Miriallia told me about it."

"No, it's ok. I wasn't really in a position to tell you when I came back, was I?"

"I suppose you weren't. So tell me!"

Thus Cagalli and Lacus spent the afternoon on the porch enjoying the view, a couple drinks and talk of the blue haired enigma that was Athrun Zala. Cagalli left out the part about his parents, but told Lacus everything else she had learned from Mwu. It was just the thing Lacus needed. She got a brief respite from her own struggles and was allowed to partake in the flowering potential that was Cagalli and Athrun.

As with most good things though, it did not last very long. Miriallia got back about fifteen minutes after Cagalli. She popped out just long enough to say she was home and then headed back upstairs. Lacus immediately reverted to the brooding state that Cagalli had originally found her in.

"You sure you don't want to talk about…" Cagalli looked back at the house. "…whatever that was?"

Lacus sighed deeply. "Yes, I'm sure."

"How long do you think she's gonna be like that?"

"It's hard to say. She's very troubled." Lacus looked over at Cagalli, feeling guilty for leaving Cagalli in the dark. It was the only way though. Lacus hadn't come out to anyone officially and she knew couldn't bring herself to do it just yet. "I'm sorry."

Cagalli just nodded and looked off across the lake. _Well I'm not the one who needs help after all. Or maybe I'm just not the only one._

It took a week for some semblance of normalcy to be restored to the cabin. Miriallia and Lacus couldn't avoid talking to each other entirely, but it was clear that neither of them was ready to clear the air until Miriallia finally brought it up the next Thursday at dinner.

"Lacus…about last week." She looked up hesitantly, unsure of how to continue. She had been so harsh with Lacus even though she thought it was justified. _An argument about some other girl's sexuality shouldn't drive a wedge between the two of us though. I guess I am the one who hurt her and not vice versa. It's on me to make this right._ Lacus still wasn't ready to tell Miriallia how wrong she was about the whole situation, but responded kindly.

"Yes Miri?"

"I'm sorry for what I said. It must be hard for your friend and you were just trying to support her. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. If she wants to be gay it's none of my business. I'm really sad this past week has been so cold and dull because of me."

Cagalli had to quickly grab at her milk and chug it, dislodging the piece of chicken that had suddenly become stuck in her esophagus. _Lacus' friend is gay? Wait, that couldn't be right…could it? Which friend could it possibly be? My gay sense isn't the best, but I would still be honestly surprised if any of Lacus' close friends were homosexual. Maybe an acquaintance, but then they wouldn't talk to her about it I don't think. Something isn't right here._ Both she and Mir were waiting anxiously for Lacus' response, though they both tried to not show it.

Lacus chewed her food slowly, buying a bit of time before responding. "Thank you Miri. I accept your apology. I'm sure it's pretty clear I don't agree with you on the nature of being a lesbian, but you're right. We shouldn't let that come between us. I would hate to lose you over something like that." _More than you'll probably ever know._

"Thanks Lacus. Shall we finally go back to the beach tomorrow? I want to go swimming. Those diving platforms looked like fun!"

"That sounds great! Let's go tomorrow!"

Cagalli looked down at the lone green bean left on her plate. Her appetite was suddenly chased away by those butterflies again. _We're going to go back tomorrow. He…Athrun might be there._ She couldn't help but smile a little. Lacus and Miriallia saw this and grinned at each other as well. There were some things they would all have to work out, but there was always hope. The three slept well that night, Cagalli included. Well rested and giddy with anticipation, they headed out as soon as they finished breakfast the next morning.

Now that is was the second week of June, there were even more people at the beach, though that hardly seemed possible the week before. Arriving early, the girls were lucky enough to secure a parking spot at the boat house, but soon the crowds would fill it and shift to the general store. Reclaiming their spot from the previous week, they stretched out in the sun. It hadn't gotten hot just yet, but at the rate the sun was warming the air, it would soon be almost intolerable.

"C'mon girls! Picture time." Lacus said with great contentment as she lay down on a large towel. "Get over here and bring the camera!"

"Ok, ok! Hold your horses there silly. We've got all day here." Cagalli replied as she fished around in the large beach tote that held their sunscreen, changes of clothes and other such beach necessities. Finally locating the small device, she and Miriallia laid down next to Lacus and put their heads together. "Everyone smile." The clicked as the girls focused their attention on the lens. Cagalli turned the camera around to show them all.

"Cagalli! You didn't smile at all!" Lacus pouted. She had sported a charmingly large toothy grin in contrast to Cagalli who had slightly upturned the corners of her mouth. Miriallia was somewhere in the middle and was thus allowed a free pass.

"I did too! See there?" Cagalli zoomed in on the picture and pointed to her faint smile.

"Oh fine, but try a little harder next time!" Lacus gave her a nudge. "So Miri, what do you want to do? Head straight for the water?"

Mir looked up and shielded her eyes, looking out over the bright sands. "I think I'll wait until it's a little warmer. You know that feeling when you're just about to hate the heat? It'll feel so nice to just jump in then, don't you think?"

"I suppose I can't argue there." Lacus replied. "Well, I'll be tanning then. You know where to find me."

"Goodnight princess." Mir winked at her. "I doubt I'll be going too far. I brought a little reading today." She pulled an issue of Cosmo out of the bag and began reading. Lacus glanced up briefly.

"Oh Miri, when are you ever going to stop reading that trash? It's the same old tips about how to give a blowjob over and over again. I can show you much more…informative resources." _That don't involve men at all._

Mir looked over the top of the magazine at her friend with a look of disapproval. "For your information I don't read it just for the sex. And excuse me if we aren't so in touch with our inner nymphomaniac as you are. Right Cagalli?" She looked for back up.

The last thing Cagalli wanted was to be involved in this debate, but now that she thought about it…she really didn't know anything at all about sex. Sure, she knew the biology of it, but she knew nothing of its finer points, having never experienced it herself. Such a state was just as bad as being too in touch with your sexual side. "I don't know. Everyone goes at their own pace, but it couldn't help to know more than less. Ignorance is usually the root of fear."

"I'm not afraid of sex!" Miriallia responded indignantly and perhaps a little too loud, catching herself and looking around with red cheeks as a few guys looked over at her. Cagalli was blushing too though as she played with the sand at her feet. She mumbled.

"I wasn't talking about you Mir…"

"Oooooh Cagalli, what do you want to know!" Lacus almost shouted in that half adorable, half accusatory manner that didn't really make it a question. Impromptu sex-ed was the best kind and she didn't intend to waste the chance. "I think I'll be more than able to answer." Lacus winked. Miriallia scoffed a bit but smiled and went back to her magazine. There was no reason to stop her from having fun. _If I'm quiet I may even pick up a thing or two…on the down low that is._ She thought.

"Well…" Cagalli hesitated, not actually expecting to be put on the spot. "What's it like?"

"You may have to be a bit more specific sweetie. Safe to say, it can be really good or really bad." Lacus patted the space beside her on the towel. "Come on and lay down with me. I'll tell you whatever you want to know." She grinned as Cagalli came closer, eager to learn more about the scandalous yet insanely pleasurable act she had never experienced.

Their conversation continued through until lunch, with Lacus alternating between a scholarly persona and a giggling impishness as Cagalli flushed red every time she learned something particularly sordid. Miriallia was too interested to even roll her eyes, even if she was behind a magazine. After a small nap brought on by the heat and food, Lacus and Mir finally stripped off their excess clothing and prepared to head into the lake.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us Cagalli?" Mir asked as they stood up. She was worried someone might put Cagalli in an awkward situation if she was alone. Men are extraordinarily paranoid about groups of girls, but one girl alone makes for a much easier situation. Cagalli had different ideas though.

"I'm sure Mir. Thanks though. I'm just going to go for a walk while you swim. I'm not too big of a swimming fan anyways."

"If you insist then…c'mon Miri! The lake awaits us!" Lacus cried cheerfully as she grabbed Miriallia's hand and began half running and half skipping towards the lake. The action was innocent enough for Mir to not suspect anything but Lacus loved the touch far more than the anticipation of cooling off in the lake.

Cagalli watched her friends enter the water, splashing around for a moment before swimming out towards the wooden diving platforms that floated at the outer edge of the roped off swimming area. _Now that they're occupied, I can finally go looking around for him._ She got up, dusted the sand off of her shorts and walked slowly towards where she had first met Athrun.

The beach was incredibly crowded, so it took Cagalli quite a bit of time to maneuver around all the sunbathers and umbrellas that dotted the span of sand. She was wearing a tight fitting tank top and jean shorts, which actually qualified as modestly dressed for that time of day. Even though the going was slow, at least she didn't need to deal with any unwanted attention.

As the trees at the edge of the beach came into view over the last few beachgoers, Cagalli felt her heart sink. She had been getting worked up during her walk. The butterflies had come back to roost in the anticipation of locating Athrun again. She knew in the back of her mind it was highly unlikely that he would be in the same place more than a week later. This was especially true given how Miriallia had admonished him the first time, but the hope was there anyways.

Standing around dejectedly for a moment, Cagalli felt the sand between her toes. It had been in the shade so it was cool, refreshing and stimulating. After digging in about an inch, Cagalli felt grass and looked up into the trees. _Well, I doubt he'd be in there, but I'm curious anyways. Not to mention it's really nice in the shade._ After walking for a couple of minutes, the sounds of the beach behind her and the road to her left had faded. Instead, they were replaced with the rustling of pine needles in the wind, the occasional bird call and her own footsteps. It was wonderfully peaceful.

Walking to her right, Cagalli could just see the deep blue of the lake through the thin pine trunks. She had walked a bit past the swimming area, she realized as she came to the shore. Faint laughter and splashing greeted her ears again as she surveyed the scene before her. She could see the location of her group of cabins across the lake on the right shore. The curve in the lake was hiding the far island from view. On her left were mostly wilderness and a few cabins, including one conspicuously smaller than the others. _I wonder who has that one. It's definitely too small for a vacation house. Maybe it belongs to Mwu and Murrue. They could probably afford something larger than that though. After all, they have the general store and what seems to be the only liquor license in town. That's gotta be worth a killing. _The thought that it could be Athrun's cabin also occurred to Cagalli. But if there was one thing she was not going to do, it was snoop around someone's house on the off chance it belonged to a relative stranger she had met once. In fact, she had never even given Athrun her name. Mir had done so inadvertently, but were it not for her Athrun would have been even more in the dark.

"Oh well, this was interesting. Might as well head back to the beach now." Cagalli turned and took a few paces back into the woods before freezing. She was not alone.

Cagalli looked around quickly, eyes darting in all directions searching for the source of the rustling noise she had just heard.

"I…I know you're there!" Cagalli said firmly, trying to hide a growing sense of fear. There was ample light, but it came through the pines at odd angles. The shadows were playing tricks on her. She couldn't see anything clearly.

Cagalli backed up slowly in the direction she thought the beach was. She could definitely see movement now. Something large was coming towards her and it was not human. That piece of information assuaged some of Cagalli's fears but added to others. _What the hell is that! I can't get a good look cause of all the trees. By the time I can it will be right on top of me._ She was at a serious disadvantage if this thing meant her harm. Turning and beginning to run, Cagalli headed for the beach as fast as she could while keeping track of her pursuer. The creature had matched its speed with her. She wasn't losing it. Actually, it was gaining. Coming to a small clearing, Cagalli waited on the far side. On the other edge, past the pool of sunlight coming down from above, she finally saw what had been chasing her. _Oh fucking shit…what the hell._

A large timber wolf had stepped into the clearing. Its fur was gray and peppered black with a white underbelly. Cagalli didn't know the first thing about wolves, but it was clear that this one was not a juvenile. Somehow it had a seasoned look about it…was it a he? She wasn't sure. What she was sure of was that this was not normal behavior for a wolf. Despite being in the wilderness, Archangel had never been known for its wildlife, predator or otherwise. Even if it were the untamed wilds, wolves didn't usually hunt humans…did they? The only explanation Cagalli could think of was that the animal before her was rabid. It had begun pacing around the clearing towards her, slowly but with fangs bared. It was growling at her menacingly.

"Uh, easy there." Cagalli's voice was quivering now as she backed against a tree. The wolf could sense her fear. She was sure of it. "I didn't mean to intrude or anything so just leave me alone ok?" The wolf stopped moving about ten feet from her. "Did you understand what I just said?" The wolf barked viciously and began its advance anew. "I guess not! SHIT!" Cagalli shouted as she turned and ran fast as she could towards the beach. _Why the hell did I stand there and let it get closer? Oh, right, I was watching those big yellow eyes. Jesus, what is it with me and eyes? I thought that only applied to boys! _She looked behind her to see the wolf give chase, barking and howling at her. The noises were deeper and more unsettling that those of a dog. Cagalli was sweating hard now, not just because of the heat.

The trees began to thin as Cagalli approached the beach. She was safe! At least she thought so. There was no way a wild wolf would follow her into a crowded area like that. For the second time that summer, Cagalli made a scene at the beach as she came hurtling out of the woods with a wolf hot on her heels. He was only a few feet behind now and shot out of the woods behind her, paying no heed to the other humans who he passed, seemingly fixated on Cagalli. "You've gotta be kidding me! Leave me alone!" Cagalli yelled at the top of her voice as she kept running, trying to avoid the myriad of stunned beachgoers. Her efforts were mostly in vain though as the wolf just ran them over about a second later. "AAAAAAAAH!"

Athrun had just brought the Aegis back to the docks after taking a loop around the lake. It had been a while since he had been out due to his recent hike around Archangel and he was dying to get back on the water. He had just begun to spray the boat down when he heard a woman yelling on the beach. He looked up and dropped the hose. It sounded familiar somehow. Then he heard the bark of a wolf. His face became hard immediately as he ran towards the beach. He knew that bark and he was pretty sure he knew the voice too. His adrenaline suddenly surged. _You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Of all the times for him to show up!_

Lacus and Miriallia were sitting on a wooden platform out in the lake about fifty yards from shore. The water was almost cold out in the deeper portions of the lake but it was wonderful on a day like today. They kicked their feet in the water and talked about work, school, boys and anything that came to their minds that didn't have to do with being a lesbian.

"Hey, what's going on over there?" Lacus said with a puzzled look on her face. She put her hand to her brow and peered across the lake. "Isn't that Cagalli?" Miriallia followed Lacus' gaze. She could definitely see a girl with short blonde hair running out of the woods followed by a…

"What the fuck is a wolf doing on the beach?" Miriallia screamed, drawing the attention of nearby swimmers who began treading water to better see what was going on.

"Hey Miri, isn't that…oh what's his name?"

"Where are you looking at a time like this you absent minded girl? Cagalli could be in trouble!" But it was true. A man was running across the beach towards Cagalli and the wolf. Mir's face went pale. "Blue hair." She cursed under her breath. "Lacus we need to get over there now! That is indeed Athrun Zala."

Back on the beach, Cagalli was running out of steam. She had never been much of an athlete and the sudden sprint had taken its toll. The last ten seconds of running on the sand had been especially difficult. The wolf did not seem deterred at all by the sun, the sand, or the throng of gawking people who seemed content to sit and watch, assuming someone else would do something. _I can't believe it's going to end like this! This doesn't even happen in movies! What the fuck?_ She closed her eyes and tried to keep running, but she knew in a moment the animal would be all over her. She braced for impact.

"Cagalli!" A familiar voice cried out, very close to her. She opened her eyes just in time to see a blur of blue hair rush past her as Athrun pivoted behind her. He had been running full tilt towards her and was trying to make sure he didn't run straight into her and do more damage than the wolf would. Cagalli froze with shock as Athrun quickly wrapped his arms around her from behind. She didn't even have a chance to be embarrassed about her tired and sweaty state. This was too much. One arm came across just below her neck, the other at her waist, tactfully avoiding her cleavage. Hugging her lightly, he brought his firm and muscled chest to her back. For all intents and purposes, they were spooning upright with an angry wolf barking and yelling at them. She was about to freak the hell out when Athrun spoke again. His calm voice flowed like water into her ear and pooled somewhere right above her heart. What was the point of a barrier if you could simply flow around it like that?

"I'm sorry we have to keep meeting this way. I should apologize for this idiot's behavior too." He couldn't resist a chuckle. To think they would be reunited like this.

Cagalli was still staring at the ground below her with wide eyes. Her amber irises were fully surrounded by the whites of her eyes. She could see Athrun's arms around her and his shadow dominating hers. Without the wolf, she would surely be at her wit's end due to the sudden and intense male contact. Now however, between his soft and firm touch and voice, the shocks seemed to cancel each other out, leaving her in a neutral state. She was very aware of Athrun's strong aura about her as she tried to respond.

"A- Athrun! What? Who? How are you here?" She breathlessly managed the words.

"I've been meaning to talk with you actually, but let me get us some peace and QUIET FIRST!"

He released Cagalli, allowing her to fall to her knees and confronted the wolf behind them who had been jumping up and down raising Cain and an audience. As soon as Athrun shouted at him, the wolf became silent and sat. A few people gasped. Who the hell was this boy who could speak with wolves? Athrun continued.

"God damn it Odin! You leave for a whole month and leave me to take care of this lake all by myself while you're off hunting or mating or whatever you do this time of year. And then you decide to return and threaten Cagalli? That's your way of saying hi? The fuck is wrong with you boy?" He knelt in the sand as the canine cocked his head in a questioning manner. "Now will you just come here and give me a hug? I missed you."

The wolf, now acting like the half-domesticated animal he was, yipped happily and walked over to Athrun, licking the boy's face in exchange for a flurry of petting. It was safe to say that at least half the beach was staring. Even for returning guests, this was something they had never seen. Over the whispering and chatter, another voice rang out.

"Excuse me, please! Of for the love of God would you fucking move? My friend is in there!" Miriallia and Lacus broke into the circle to find Cagalli panting on her knees looking incredibly stunned but physically fine. Athrun, meanwhile, was having a seemingly intimate moment with Cagalli's attacker. Miriallia's facial expression was nothing short of pure rage.

"Athrun…Zala…!" She growled through clenched teeth as she yanked him up by his collar. Odin began to whimper. He too could know fear. "You have a lot to explain. And would the rest of you get out of here?" She spat at the crowd. They quickly dispersed.

"Woah, woah, easy there…uh…what was your name again?" He wasn't helping his case.

"It's Miriallia. Now tell me what the hell you and your dog did to Cagalli! Can't we go to the beach once without you fucking it up?"

"Uh, Miri? Shouldn't you be a bit easier on him?" Lacus chimed in. _God, he IS cute._

"Lacus stay out of this! You weren't there the first time." Miriallia shot back, turning her head back to Athrun who she was still holding by the shirt.

"Seriously Miriallia, I didn't do anything other than stop Odin. Ok?" Athrun grabbed her wrist and freed himself rather easily. "Cagalli was about to get a very rude introduction to Archangel. He does that occasionally when he meets people for the first time." He walked past Miriallia, much to her ire.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? I was talking to you!"

"I don't think we've met before, I'm Athrun Zala." Athrun said as he kneeled beside Cagalli with Lacus. Lacus blushed a little. Cagalli seemed out of breath but otherwise unharmed and this Athrun guy was even better in person.

"I'm Lacus Cline. Nice to meet you Athrun!" She smiled sweetly at him. Miriallia was at the boiling point.

"Cagalli, are you ok?" Athrun asked her softly, ignoring Miriallia. Cagalli looked up into his green eyes for the second time. They really were beautiful and she definitely wasn't afraid of him anymore; at least not in public with her friends around and hundreds of witnesses. But hey, it was progress. She smiled at him, disarming Mir instantly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. No thanks to that fuzzball over there." Odin let out a small, dejected whine.

"Where did you find him? He usually doesn't behave like that even when meeting new people."

"Where the hell did YOU find him Athrun? That's not a dog you know, that's a real living wolf!"

Lacus and Miriallia were shocked and took a step back. Cagalli was being sassy and smiling…at a guy! _Perhaps I was wrong to judge so quickly._ Miriallia thought to herself as Lacus gave her a look that could only be described as a combination of 'they are so CUTE' and 'why does she get to have a hunk like that?' They backed off to the umbrella, watching and listening intently but allowing the two reunited ones to have their space.

"You answer first." Athrun came right back at her with a smile. _God he's such a guy…whatever that means. I don't even know...ugh._ Cagalli thought, but she was too tired to argue much.

"Alright, you win. I was walking through the forest over there and I ran into him about halfway to that cabin over there on the far side of the lake." She pointed towards Athrun's cabin. He nodded knowingly.

"Ah, that explains it. That's my cabin actually, and by extension it's Odin's as well. He leaves every so often to wander the woods around the lake, but he considers that area to be his territory. He didn't know who you were or why you were hanging around, so that's probably why he chased you. But that won't happen again…riiiiiight?" Athrun gave his wolf the look of an annoyed parent. The message was received.

"So you live here and you own a wolf and you read engineering textbooks at the beach. Who are you?"

"I'm simply Athrun Zala. Sorry I can't give you a more exciting explanation than that. I still didn't answer your question though. So where was I? Oh, right, Odin. Come here buddy!" The wolf came over and sat by Athrun and Cagalli. "Now lay down. Good boy. Do you want to pet him?"

"Uuuuh…" Cagalli was disarmed. Here Athrun was, offering her the chance to stroke and pet the animal that had so recently menaced her. _How the hell does he do that? He just shows up and suddenly the situation is completely defused like nothing happened. He's just so darn calm all the time. It's kinda hot. _She reached out hesitantly towards the wolf's light underbelly. She patted him on the ribcage and quickly recoiled, expecting a negative reaction. She had never been too good with animals.

"Oh come on, not like that!" Athrun laughed at her as he grabbed her hand and guided it, scratching Odin's tummy. The wolf panted happily and rolled around in the sand. "See, there you go!" Athrun released Cagalli and allowed her to continue. He grinned to himself as he saw her blush in reaction to his authoritative touch. _She is a fragile one for sure…but she isn't broken. She's just hurting bad… like me._

"So anyways, about Odin then?" Cagalli asked again as she continued to pet the wolf.

"Right. I found him seven years ago on one of my walks around the lake. I'm sort of like the groundskeeper for the lake if you want to call it that. What it really means is I just make sure nothing too out of the ordinary happens. Well, one day in the winter I came across a blood trail and an elk carcass. It was odd though, because the blood clearly didn't belong to the elk. I won't go into the details of something like that for the sake of decorum, but it was pretty obvious that another animal was bleeding. The elk had blood on its horns too, so that meant there was a wounded predator around. Being the curious and slightly idiotic guy that I am, I followed to back to Odin's mother's den. Unfortunately, by the time I got there she had passed, leaving him alone. I don't know why she wasn't hunting with a pack, but that was the situation. So I did the only thing I could. I took him home and raised him. He's been my best friend since then."

Cagalli looked up from Odin to Athrun's face, getting lost in his emerald eyes briefly before speaking. His face bore a look of love and compassion and sadness. Perhaps it was because he was readily admitting how unorthodox his life was. If anything though, it made him more appealing to Cagalli. The fact that he could handle such an existence was a pretty good indicator of a strong will. "Well, aren't you a charitable one? Not only do you save the wolf, you then save a girl from said wolf. You sure he isn't your wingman?" Athrun laughed heartily at her comment. It was loud and clear. Cagalli found herself enjoying that aspect of Athrun as well.

"Is it working on you?" He inquired.

"Well you haven't hurt your chances I guess." She blushed again at the direct question. _God she's attractive when she does that. I'm going to have to be careful or I'll fall too hard. I hope she doesn't give me a choice in the matter. _He could feel the thrill of courtship for the first time in years. It was invigorating.

"I'll consider that for the future then." Athrun said, turning to look at the boathouse. Much as he wanted to stay and talk to Cagalli, he did have to finish his work on the Aegis. He wanted to know more about her mother and her past, but there was no way she would talk about that now. It wasn't the right time or place.

"Well, you seem to be ok then. I'd love to stay, but I need to finish tending to my boat. I just brought her in when I head you and Odin creating a ruckus over here. You sure scream loudly."

"Hey!" Cagalli retorted quickly. "He started the whole thing! But you own a boat? Is it bright red by any chance?"

"That's the one! I guess she's pretty distinctive."

"She?"

"The boat. You've never heard a boat referred to as a she before?"

"No? What's wrong with you?"

"Absolutely nothing! Well, I suppose you can call her the Aegis then." Athrun noticed that Cagalli seemed to become excited when he mentioned the Aegis, even though she was clearly not knowledgeable about boats in general. _Seriously…who doesn't call a boat a she? _

"Would you mind if I came and looked at it?" Cagalli couldn't help but move back a bit, she recoiled not at Athrun, but at her own boldness. Athrun's response was equally bold.

"Tell you what. She's not looking her best right now since I haven't cleaned her off today, but I'm tired of meeting here at the beach. The last couple of times haven't been conducive to good conversation. Will you go on a date with me?"

Miriallia began choking on her own saliva she swallowed so suddenly. Lacus emitted a small gasp. Cagalli's inner conflict raged like a firestorm. This was all happening so fast. She had finally found him again and he had not only saved her from a wolf that, now that she thought about it, probably wouldn't have hurt her anyways. But now here he was asking her on a date. No crowds, no interference, just her and this handsome blue haired boy. He could certainly overpower her if he wanted to. _Why the hell am I thinking that right now? I don't think he's that kind of guy…I think. Well, I promised I would give him a chance…here goes nothing._

"I'd like that." She whispered shyly, looking down at a particularly interesting grain of sand and curling a strand of hair with her finger. Athrun almost died from the cuteness as Lacus swooned. The pink haired princess had always been a sucker for romance. Apparently this wolf-induced situation constituted romance. Athrun was just that hot.

"What cabin are you in? I'm guessing you're here for vacation right?" He asked her.

"I guess I know where you live so it's only fair." She looked back at him and grinned. "It's cabin number 53."

"Ah, 53, that's not a bad one. Anyways, shall I pick you up at ten on Monday? I have to be out of town this weekend."

"Yeah, that sounds…that sounds great!" The butterflies were swarming now.

"Well, in that case, I'll be seeing you soon then." He helped her to her feet with much less fanfare than the previous time he had tried. He noticed she held onto him just a bit longer that you would casually. He appreciated the gesture. The feeling of her smooth skin on his calloused hands was heavenly. "Come on Odin, you can see Cagalli later I'm sure. Goodbye for now!" He waved at Lacus and Miriallia as he passed them. Lacus grabbed Mir's hand and waved both, causing Athrun to laugh again. _She has nice friends too. I wonder if she found them or if they found her._ As he walked back to the boathouse he continued his contemplations. _It's been a long time since I've actually been on a date. I guess I never really wanted to ask anyone. Things just tended to happen anyways. If she's willing to give it a real shot though, so am I._

The image of a giant metal cross came unbidden to his mind. _If there is a way, I will find it. I won't let that happen to her._


	9. Chapter 9

***To those of you who have waited patiently for this chapter, I really appreciate it. I know it took a while, but some real life love issues came up. While they probably aren't as interesting as Athrun x Cagalli or Mir x Lacus, they must take precedence. Again, thanks for your patience and please enjoy. As always, review and subscribe!**

**-lastamaranth**

**Chapter 9**

While Athrun was off on a particularly boring trip to the state parks department to demand more sand for Archangel's artificial beach, the girls were having the most exciting weekend since their college days. Cagalli had been in an emotionally induced stupor for most of Friday as a result of her encounter with Athrun, Odin and the subsequent request for a date. Lacus spent most of the evening jumping up and down while squealing "Cagalli's going on a date…with a total hottie!" This prompted Miriallia to take over the task of making dinner as it became increasingly clear that Lacus was bound to spill all of it, especially since alcoholic beverages were being consumed by all three of them with gusto. Cagalli just sat in a chair, inside the house for once, smiling and feeling quite far away from all of the pain she had felt a few weeks earlier.

After recovering from hangovers on Saturday, the girls were a bit more serious by the time Sunday evening rolled around. After all, Cagalli was going on her first date since Alex in less than 24 hours. Preparations had to be made.

"So you have no idea what you're going to be doing?" Miriallia asked.

"No. He didn't give me his number or anything so I haven't been in contact with him since Friday. Though if I had been I'm sure I wouldn't need to be telling you. Lacus would have been all over that."

"Heeey!" Lacus whined. "It's because I'm excited for you!"

"I know, I know." Cagalli reassured her. "And thank you. What do you think I should wear?"

"A bikini!"

"Well, that's one vote for lots of skin." Miriallia cut Lacus off before she could elaborate. "If you're going to wear one, which I would say you might as well. You should probably wear shorts over it. They don't have to be long, but I think it might be a little bit inappropriate to show up at the door in what would be called underwear if it was made of a different fabric." She cocked an eyebrow at Lacus who was intentionally pouting her way. Cagalli responded in a predictable fashion.

"I'll wear some sort of looser clothing over swimwear so I can get wet if I have to. I don't think he will be expecting anything special; we are at the beach after all. It's not like people are dressing up here."

"Have you seen what people are wearing at the beach?" Lacus piped up again. "If anything, you'll be overdressed if you go like that. Athrun lives here remember? Maybe he expects that level of…well…"

"Sluttiness?" Miriallia frowned.

"She still needs to make an impression!" Lacus shot back.

"Well then, I'll stand out if I choose to wear something more than a few strings and strips. If he's ever going to see me like that I want to make him work for it." Cagalli stated proudly.

"Where is all of this coming from?" Miriallia asked happily. "I don't think I've ever heard you make such strong declarations regarding a guy before. Are you sure you aren't the dominant type? No fuzzy handcuffs in your suitcase?" Despite the uplifting atmosphere, Mir still made sure not to mention Alex by name. It seemed Cagalli didn't make the association though, and the conversation continued much to Mir's relief. Cagalli decided to blush furiously instead.

"Miri!" Lacus was shocked too. "Who has the dirty mind now?"

"Oh I never said I didn't have a dirty mind Lacus. Unlike you though, I try to keep that hidden from public as much as possible." Miriallia had kept some of the edge on, even after apologizing to Lacus. Cagalli tried to defuse the tension before it got too personal.

"Oh give her a break Mir. It's not like she's out there trying to fuck anything with a penis. I think she's been quite selective in fact. As for me, I'm not sure. I think it's just time to give someone else a chance you know?"

Mir and Lacus looked at her with a combination of motherly love and teenage excitement. "Oh, Cagalli! We're so proud of you. Group hug!" Count on Lacus to maintain her inner child in all things.

That night, Cagalli had a hard time falling asleep. On one hand she was nervous and hesitant about the next day. On the other hand she couldn't wait to see Athrun again. Eventually though, the butterflies subsided long enough for her to get some sleep.

Cagalli found herself standing in a field. It was particularly nondescript. She could see pretty much forever in all directions. With nothing better to do, she began wandering through the dreamscape, hoping something interesting or unique would occur. Looking up at the sky for a change of scenery, Cagalli didn't notice the pit slowly opening in front of her. As she put her foot down and felt no friction or contact on her toes, she jumped back in fright. Clearly it was time to look down and not up.

Before her, a large black hole was growing in the middle of the field. It was full of some translucent black mist that seemed to whisper and flow, almost like a gaseous liquid. As Cagalli ventured forward with just her right foot outstretched, the shadows seemed to hone in on it. She quickly took ten paces back, staring with horror as she realized what the pit was. This pit had been her torture chamber for so many nights following her break up. Down there were the shadows and beasts that tormented her and tried to corrupt her. _But why am I…out here? Better yet, where am I? Shouldn't this be where the green light is?_ Cagalli looked around; searching for the light that she was sure represented Athrun. After all, once she had met him the nightmares had ceased…until now. At the same time though, it was hard to call it a nightmare. It was more like…"A warning."

Cagalli muttered to herself as she came back to the land of the waking. The sunlight was streaming through her window. It would be a beautiful day for a date. "I think…I think that was a warning." She said again as she slid out from under the covers and plodded over to the bathroom, wiping the sleep from her eyes. As she watched herself in the mirror, the reality of what was about to happen came back to her. Her adrenaline started pumping, the hunger in her stomach disappeared to be replaced by a fluttering sensation and her mind began worrying again, ever trying to be the rational player in the irrational game known as love. _But this time it's different. The only one who could have jumped into that pit again was me. If I'm strong, I'll be able to avoid it again. I don't have to live and die on the whims of some man. _

The stronger elements of Cagalli's personality were subtly shifting, allowing her to harness her inner determination and will for more constructive purposes. With the support of Miriallia and Laucs and the incredible sense of stability and inner control that radiated from Athrun, Cagalli didn't have to focus her energies on protecting herself from those who could hurt her. Instead, at least for the moment, her world had shrunk significantly enough that defense wasn't the primary goal. For the first time in as long as she could remember, Cagalli actually was looking forward to the idea of a date. _Sure, I suppose something could fall apart down the line, but you'll never know if you don't try!_ She thought happily to herself and headed back to her room to get changed.

The sounds of breakfast preparation rang up the stairwell as Cagalli tried to figure out what to wear. She did want this to be special, but she wasn't sure how to do so without stepping over lines she felt comfortable with. She was sifting through her more modest swimsuits when an idea came to her. Grabbing the bottom half of a white tankini, she began digging through the very bottom of her drawers. "Ah, finally found you!" She whispered as she pulled the top of her tiny black bikini out of the drawer. _Who would have thought he would have a real wolf? _Cagalli thought as she ran her finger over the artwork on the swimsuit. _I can't wait to wear this!_ She threw on the swimwear and grabbed a pair of jean shorts, moving quickly to look at herself in the mirror.

Her blonde hair was about shoulder length now, as it had been a while since she last cut it. It just brushed across her bare shoulders, curving in and bringing an observer's gaze to the faint line of her collarbones. Her top left nothing to the imagination, showing off both her chest and her flat stomach. A wicked smile played across Cagalli's face as she walked out without grabbing a shirt. _It's going to be hot today._

Downstairs, Lacus was busy over the stove once again. This time it was chocolate chip pancakes. Miriallia had just closed the refrigerator when Cagalli came into the kitchen. She almost dropped the orange juice.

"Oh my god…" She whispered to herself. "Lacus!" Lacus continued humming over the stove. "Lacus!"

"What is it Miri?" Mir motioned her head to the right. Lacus turned the other way. Her eyes immediately narrowed and a sly grin crept over her face. Cagalli suddenly felt very self-conscious.

"Miri…take over for me." She said in a tone that would make most men rock hard. "There's something I have to do." She sauntered over to Cagalli. Somehow her t-shirt and lack of pants was just as sexy as Cagalli's form fitting top and short pants. Lacus just had that air about her.

"Uh, Lacus?" Cagalli said nervously. "What are you doing?" Lacus was right in her face now, her body only an inch or two away. If Cagalli didn't know better, she would have thought she was about to be taken. Did she even know Lacus that well?

"Mmmm…" Lacus hummed softly, running a finger up Cagalli's body from her belly button to her chin. "You look good enough to eat Cagalli." The blonde proceeded to blush furiously. This was insane.

"What the hell Lacus? I thought this was something you and Mir-" Her whisper was cut off by Lacus' finger moving to her lips. She felt Lacus' other arm encircle her waist as she was pulled close. Their breasts pressed together noticeably, given the sparse amount of fabric separating them. Cagalli felt like she was about to die of embarrassment when Lacus whispered in her ear.

"I want to be brave like you Cagalli. Tonight, when you're back…I'm ready to tell you." Lacus pulled apart to look at Cagalli. Her eyes were strong but fearful. Cagalli nodded without saying a word. There would be time for that later. Soon she would know why the paradigm of Lacus and Miriallia's relationship had shifted so much over the last couple of weeks. Lacus continued.

"You look sexy as all hell. Knock him dead!" She hugged Cagalli in a manner much more befitting of friends and returned to help Miriallia who had courteously not said anything up until that point. She turned over the spatula to Lacus and sat with Cagalli.

"So I see you went with a little of both then? I love the suit by the way. Where did you get it?"

"I picked it up when we went shopping that time. I just didn't really find a time I wanted to wear it until now. Do you think it's a bit much?"

"Well, I'm not going to ask what the bottoms look like, but if you keep those shorts on I think you've got a rockin' outfit. I hope Athrun's wearing jeans."

"Miri!" Lacus yelled in slight shock and glee. "Don't say things like that!"

"Uuuuh…" Cagalli was lost as her friends giggled around her.

Breakfast was a happy and buoyant affair, with much discussion of what wonderful surprises Athrun might have in store for Cagalli. Before she knew it, it was ten and the doorbell was ringing. She looked at her friends nervously, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, don't keep him waiting now!" Miriallia encouraged her.

"See you when you get back. Have fun!" Lacus added.

Cagalli took a deep breath and headed outside. "Do you think she will be ok?" Lacus said, looking at Mir. "This all seems very sudden for her."  
Miriallia looked at the front door pensively. "I think Cagalli could be the strongest of all of us. I just don't think she's had a chance to show it yet. It may be hoping for too much, but I think Athrun can show her how."

"Maybe you're right. I'm worrying too much. I'm sure she will have fun."

Athrun's alarm rang at 8 AM. He rose quickly and wiped the sleep from his eyes, thanking his alarm clock. He had been dreaming of the demons again and was happy to be through with it. _I didn't see the cross though this time. I thought I would, given everything that's going on. Looks like our destinies are in our own hands for now. Geez, it's just a first date dude, no reason to be so dramatic. _He poured himself a quick bowl of cereal and chewed silently as Odin continued to snooze and snore in the corner of the kitchen on his bed. Athrun had never been a big morning eater and the idea of seeing Cagalli in a couple hours was killing his already small appetite. It had been an age since he had actually been nervous about seeing a girl. It was expected though. Cagalli was unlike anything he was used to at Archangel. There was no reason she should start now. He smiled down at his bowl. _I wonder what she's like when she's alone…_

After a quick shower and shave Athrun threw on swimming trunks and a button down shirt, rolling up the sleeves as he headed out the door to his truck. It wasn't anything impressive, but it was his only land vehicle and he figured the Aegis was what Cagalli really wanted to see anyway. A short while later, Athrun was ringing the doorbell of Cagalli's cabin. _Why am I so nervous damn it? I've been with plenty of girls. This shouldn't be so difficult._ He thought as he rubbed his hands together waiting for Cagalli to answer the door. As the door opened, Athrun almost choked. He held himself together only because Miriallia and Lacus could easily see him from where he was standing. _Holy shit…_

He had never seen a more attractive woman in his life. She was wearing small denim shorts that showed off her thin and recently tanned legs. Athrun was only looking there to distract him from what was going on further north. If he had any remaining questions as to Cagalli's body type, they were quickly answered. Her waist was toned and flat, making her well-proportioned chest look all the better in the skimpy black bikini top. His survey took about half a second, but it felt like a lifetime. His blood was stirring. Tearing his eyes from her body, Athrun greeted Cagalli the best he could given the circumstances. "Hey, er, good morning Cagalli." He said with a hint of blush. Athrun was experiencing nerves he never knew he possessed.

Cagalli blushed back and began twisting her foot back and forth. Athrun realized quickly that if he had made any attempt at being discrete that it hadn't worked. _But there's no way she could expect me not to look her up and down at least once if she's dressed like that. I knew I should have worn jeans today. There's no way these shorts can block the inevitable if we don't move on soon._ Fortunately, it seemed that Cagalli was not offended. She looked back up at him and replied softly. "Hey Athrun. Thanks for picking me up. Uh…shall we go?" Her amber eyes were framed by a few low-hanging locks of blonde hair. Suddenly it was her eyes that Athrun couldn't avoid. She looked so cute and innocent like that, looking up at him.

"Yeah, let's go then." He turned and walked back to the truck. It probably wasn't the best time to hold hands just yet. He knew he had already embraced her on the beach, but this was a date. Every action weighed heavily and carried secret meaning now. Holding hands wasn't simply holding hands anymore. He opened the passenger side door for her and offered his hand to help her up into the cabin.

"Why thank you Mr. Zala!" She chuckled genuinely at him as she settled into the passenger seat. Athrun closed the door and walked to his side, taking the long way around the truck. _She is too fucking cute. Keep it together man!_ Inside him it felt like a firestorm had collided with a blizzard. On the one hand, he wanted to do what he knew he should. Keeping Cagalli safe and happy meant more to him than any woman from recent memory, even if they had just met. She was someone he wanted to protect, not just fuck. He wanted to make good on that and treat her well. He wanted to treat her as a gentleman. Most importantly, he wanted to treat her as a fellow human who knew the pain of loss and understood her.

And yet, for all of those noble sentiments, Athrun could not deny the passion welling within him. She was beautiful, pure and fragile. The beast inside him was practically drooling. He wanted her…carnally…now! He wanted to be the first to taste her. _Ok, calm down now._ He thought as he got into the driver's seat and adjusted his shorts as inconspicuously as possible. _If you did something like that, not only would you never get to do it again, but you'd never be able to forgive yourself. Not to mention all of the possible legal consequences. Besides, the chase can be just as exciting as the…I don't like calling it the kill…let's just go with conclusion for now. Gotta think of a better term for that later._ He turned the ignition and felt the engine come to life as he looked over at her. She smiled faintly at him.

"Did you eat yet?" He asked, becoming a bit more comfortable as he realized that she was expecting him to be pretty well in control of the situation. Athrun hoped he could prove to her that chivalry wasn't dead.

"I had breakfast, yeah. Lacus is a pretty good cook. Did you want to get something to eat though? I don't mind."

"Oh. Well would you mind stopping by the store anyway? I figured we should pick up some lunch."

"Athrun, it's like 10 in the morning."

"Yeah, but you wanted to check out the Aegis right? I figured we could eat lunch on the lake." He glanced at her quickly and looked back at the road. He had expected the reaction he was getting, but it was wonderful to watch all the same. Cagalli looked as happy as he'd ever seen her. _Looks like it's been a while since she's been able to appreciate the simple things in life. Good thing too, there isn't much else up here._ _As long as she's feeling good I guess I might as well try to get to know her a bit better._ "So how are your friends?" _Crap! I did it again!_

Cagalli's smile had vanished abruptly as Athrun mentioned her friends. Athrun cursed silently, seemingly unable to avoid seemingly harmless statements that ended up not being so harmless.

"Something's going on with them. I don't know what it is. Lacus is hiding something from the both of us."

_Well at least I didn't make her sad._ "Sorry to bring it up. I didn't mean to get the drama going on the first date at all."

"No, it's ok. I was actually hoping to talk to someone about it." Cagalli paused, giving him a chance to duck out before the gossip. Athrun motioned for her to continue. "Lacus and Mir had a fight of some sort right after the first time I met you. I have no idea what happened, but it was apparently bad enough to warrant a formal apology. It seemed it was about Lacus' friend being a lesbian, but I have no idea what the truth of the matter is. I asked Lacus to talk when we got some free time but she was not saying anything. Then this morning she suddenly up and tells me she's going to fill me in tonight. She said she wanted to be 'brave like me.'" Cagalli intentionally left out the sultry aspect of Lacus' hint.

_You've gotta be kidding me, so that's the truth?_ Athrun thought as he took one hand off the wheel to rub his temple. They were just pulling into the parking lot of the general store. "Cagalli, has Lacus ever kissed a girl." Athrun knew he was really testing the waters, but Cagalli seemed ok with discussing the friend drama and he thought he could probably shed some light on the issue. She was blushing heavily though.

"What does that have to do with anything Athrun? If you don't mind my saying that's a pretty perverted thing to ask." She was looking at him with fierce eyes now. Fierce but confused.

"I'll take that as a yes. Does she ever act like she's trying to come onto you or Miriallia? Jokingly or otherwise?" He saw it. That got her. _I think I know what's going on here._

"Uh…yeah actually. She and Mir have made out before too."

"Cagalli…I guess there's no really tactful way to say this, but…" He sighed deeply.  
"Lacus is a lesbian."

Athrun looked over at Cagalli. In a lighter situation he would have totally taken a picture, but now certainly was not the time.

"Whu, wha…wait! How would you know that?" Cagalli was fumbling over thoughts in her head, stuttering and trying to somehow rationalize what Athrun was saying. Her eyes were wide as she began gesturing with her arms a bit more than necessary given the situation.

"Cagalli, it's the oldest trick in the book. It's a shame, but Lacus probably felt the only way she could talk to Miriallia about being a lesbian was by acting like it was her friend and not her. If she's been skirting the issue with you, she's probably working up the courage to tell you about it, especially seeing as her discussion with Miriallia seems to have not gone so well. Sorry if this all sounds really weird, but I honestly think that's what's going on. She said she wanted to be brave like you, right? I don't know what she's talking about, but I think she's about to come out to you. You must be a very good friend."

Cagalli looked up at him with a lost look on her face. Athrun gazed back at her, trying to convey both support and concern with a small smile and confident look. The last thing he wanted was for her to get unnerved. She looked back at her knees, clearly thinking hard. Athrun had no idea how big of an issue or not this was, but now definitely was not the time to pry. _Even if she and Lacus have been involved in the past, which I doubt, now isn't the time. She's out with me and that's what matters. Best to just leave it at that._

"Hey, I know this might be a bit much. Do you want me to just go and grab some stuff and let you think?" She looked back up at him. Athrun was grateful to see her beautiful eyes again.

"No, it's ok. Even if you are right there's no sense in me dwelling on it. Besides, how will you know exactly what I want if I don't come with you! It's not like you want to screw up on your first daaaaate!" She winked at him. Athrun was taken aback for just a moment. It was hard to comprehend how Cagalli could shift so quickly from confidence to a lack thereof. He knew so little about her. It both infuriated him and encouraged him to press on. Was it the compliment he had just given her?

"Well, I won't say no to such a lovely escort. Shall we?" He offered her his hand only to see her blush again. The balance of power and confidence had shifted his way again.

"Sure." She said quietly as they walked towards the store. Athrun was still holding her hand, but not very strongly. He made it so that if she wanted to, she could pull away. Based on the points of warmth and contact on his hand, she was thinking about it. _Well, I suppose I was a bit abrupt, but if I had asked and been all wimpy about it she probably would have said no and just gotten more embarrassed. C'mon Cagalli, just hold my hand would you? It's not like I'm going to bite._ He tightened his grip just a bit, as if to impress upon her what he was thinking in his head. Unfortunately this seemed to scare her off and she let her arm fall to her side as they walked through the door. Perhaps that was for the best. Seeing as…

"Athrun! Where have you been kiddo?" Mwu jumped out of his chair by the register and walked quickly over to them.

"Hi Mwu, sorry I missed you the last couple of weeks. Lake stuff you know?" Athrun replied, glancing over at Murrue who was assisting other customers since her husband had suddenly abandoned his post. He could have sworn Murrue was trying to give Mwu some kind of look. _Huh, that's odd. Probably nothing though._

"And Cagalli! How are you doing? Did you and Athrun come together?" Now it was really odd. Athrun's mind was suddenly racing as Cagalli began talking with Mwu as if they were fast friends. It was true that Mwu was a very loveable type, but this situation was too weird. _How the hell do they know each other? It's not like Mwu just up and introduces himself to everyone who walks through the door. He and Cagalli had some sort of interaction that I know nothing about. But what could it possibly be? And how the heck did he know we even knew each other?_ _I don't think he was watching the parking lot when we pulled up. I'll have to ask him about it later._

Cagalli and Mwu were still engaged in conversation, so Athrun tried to tactfully interject, tapping Cagalli on the shoulder. "I hate to interrupt, but what would you like for lunch?" Mwu answered instead, clearly understanding the dynamic and having way too much fun with it.

"How about turkey? I just sliced some fresh today. Sound good?"

"Uh, Cagalli?" Athrun looked at her questioningly.

"Sound great!" She smiled widely, bringing even more spring to Mwu's step as he headed over to the deli section, calling back at them.

"Go grab some drinks! I'll get those sandwiches going. Hope you like cheddar; we just got a brick in today. It's farm fresh!"

Cagalli looked up at Athrun, still smiling. "Well, he's an awfully nice guy isn't he? How long have you known him?" They began walking towards the refrigerated section of the store to pick up some beverages.

"For most of my life really. He and Murrue have been here as long as I can remember. He's always been good to me, maybe more than I deserve." Athrun seemed to get lost in thought with the last statement. Cagalli thought she had an idea of what he was talking about, but decided not to comment. Lacus being a lesbian may have been ok talk for their first date, but dead parents certainly were not on that list.

"Well, from what I've seen of you, you've probably earned it. If I'm the brave one, you are definitely the worthy one. You take care of the place, right?" Cagalli replied sweetly. Athrun looked up at the ceiling for a moment. _And there she goes being all soft and nice again! Totally maddening in the best kind of way._ He looked back at her, making a mental note to ask about her comment about bravery later. _That has to do with today I'm sure of it. Somehow being here with me is a brave act for her. Something happened to this girl in her past. It's something that can explain what happened when I first met her, but again, now is definitely not the time_._ Need to just keep going with this thread._

"I do keep things under control to an extent, yeah. And they give me huge discounts at the store as thanks. I keep insisting on full prices, but you've seen Mwu. He's not the kind of guy to take orders from someone else. Like I said, they treat me too well. Not to mention Murrue is a sweetheart. It's easy to see why he fell for her. Well anyways, what did you want to drink? I'm just going to go with a root beer."

"Grab two. It's been forever since I've had root beer. It's not exactly commonplace in a house with three girls trying to keep in shape."

"Too true. You sure you don't want any full fat, heavy ice cream to go with that?"

"Oh stop it! You have no idea what it takes to look like this."

"You're right, but I can't argue with the results. Shall we?" He grabbed two root beers and headed over to where Mwu was waiting for them at the register. Cagalli looked at his back for a moment, rooted to the spot. It was the first time that Athrun had outright commented on her appearance. It was embarrassing to an extent. It was sending up red flags in her mind that men were horny animals only interested in that. And yet, somehow it was ok. It didn't matter what had happened in the past. If anything, a deeper part of her wanted him to look. She wanted to be acknowledged and seen that way. _He's so cute and non-chalant about it. It's so different from those other guys who just drool over you. So just go and hold his hand already!_ Cagalli forced herself to move. After all, today was her day to be strong. She didn't have to cover up. She could show off her body without offering it. She had no idea what would happen if Athrun tried anything beyond just looking and complimenting, but again, he had yet to betray her trust. If anything, the Lacus situation had suddenly made him her confidant. Somehow the relationship was going off in multiple directions at once at a dizzying pace. She reached the register and gave Mwu a grateful smile.

Athrun had just finished paying for the sodas and two very large, very delicious looking sandwiches. _And also a gentleman with his wallet. Why weren't you the first? _Cagalli's heart screamed at him.

"Those look great Mwu. Thanks so much. I'm leaving this $10 here. It's up to you what you do with it. Ok?" Athrun was trying to get around the discount yet again. Today was the ultimatum strategy.

"Since you're paying for this fine lady over here, I'll graciously accept." Mwu replied, winking at Cagalli. "You two have fun now. Remember to play safe!"

"Mwu!" Murrue yelled at him with an indignant motherly tone. "I'll handle this guy later. You kids go have fun alright? It's a beautiful day to be on the lake."

"Thanks Murrue. Cagalli, let's go." Athrun extended his hand again, looking at her inquisitively with his deep green eyes. He was probing for weaknesses in her defenses. With the subtle comment about her looks, Mwu's upbeat attitude and the prospect of a day on the Aegis ahead of them, he figured now was as good a time as ever. Cagalli stood motionless for a moment. She knew Mwu, Murrue and Athrun were all waiting eagerly for her next move. Her adrenaline surged suddenly, making her heartbeat deafen her. This all felt so official, so real…and so very new from anything she had experienced. If she was going to play the strong girl with no need for men, it was going to have to be another time. She wanted to be a strong girl with a strong man. After all, just being strong wasn't enough. That had been her past. It was slowly dawning on Cagalli that bravery wasn't really always being strong. Part of it was being able to show that you're weak. And that was terrifying.

Athrun was standing with his hand outstretched for the world to see, not caring who else in Archangel knew. She timidly placed her hand in his, looking deep in his eyes. _I trust myself to you. I'm scared, but you deserve a chance._ She wanted to tell him, but could only manage to stare, hoping the message got across. He smiled warmly and mischievously at her.

"I'm not letting you go for a little while. Hope that's ok with you." Athrun turned and led Cagalli out of the store as her heart almost leapt right out of her ribcage. She couldn't help but clutch her chest and catch her breath on the way out. _This boy! I'm helpless against this boy! _Mwu and Murrue smiled playfully at each other as they watched the couple exit.

"Well, we've done what we can for now I think." Murrue said to her husband. "You're the best sweetie. Did you see the look on Cagalli's face? Her heart must be going a mile a minute."

"So is Athrun's. He's just better at hiding it!" Mwu put his arm around her. The display of young affection was reminding them fondly of their own love. "I hope we will be seeing more of them soon." He said softly to her.

"If she keeps dressing like that, you bet we will!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Athrun watched Cagalli out of the corner of his eye as he confidently led her back to his truck. Inside he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn't dare show too much pleasure in the effect his bold move had had. Cagalli was staring straight ahead and trying to keep composure. He could feel her hand sweating and growing hot in his. The heat was very pleasant for Athrun and he could only imagine how it must be feeling for her. If he could feel her presence that fiercely on a day as hot as this one, her heart had to be fit to burst. They had connected physically, intentionally, for the first time. It felt great. As he helped Cagalli into her seat, Athrun couldn't help but say what was on his mind.

"You ok there? It looks like you just ran a mile. The parking lot wasn't that big, was it?" He chuckled as she turned to him. Her face was unlike anything he'd ever seen. Her eyes were wide and focused, and yet they seemed to be gazing at nothing in particular. The rest of her face seemed torn between happiness and extreme stress. Not really knowing how to respond, Athrun put his hand on her knee. The restoration of contact seemed to bring Cagalli back. She stared at him for a long time, her eyes still wide, taking all of him in. _Well, this is new._ He thought as he smiled back at her, saying nothing and waiting patiently. _It's not like I'd rather be looking at something else…especially those eyes. I wonder what they're hiding now…_

"I'm scared Athrun." She broke the silence. _Okay, what now? Where in the hell did that come from?_ He thought to himself, looking at her to see if she would continue. Her statement didn't give him much of an idea what he could do. Fortunately, after a moment to collect her thoughts, she did continue.

"The last…the last guy I was with hurt me. He really, really hurt me. I'd rather not get into it right now, but I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I've been so weird. And even more than that, I want you to know that even though I am scared and part of me doesn't want to…I trust you. So please, don't hurt me." Her eyes had returned to normal now. They were soft and sincere, reflecting both the hope and sorrow in the words she had just spoken. Athrun tried desperately to maintain composure, but he knew it was useless. He glanced at the pavement for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He wanted to kiss her, to hold her, to protect her and tell her that everything was going to be just fine. Athrun wanted desperately to tell her that he would make everything fine. First date be damned. Something about her was pulling him in with a force he couldn't escape, even if he didn't want to. Her outward appearance coupled with her innocence and fragility made her irresistible. She played to the two most basic desires of men: to mate and to protect. _It's going to take all of my will to go slow enough for her. But I promise Cagalli, I won't hurt you. _The desire to say that out loud almost overtook him, but he knew that it was very possibly he could hurt her, not intentionally of course, but it was still very, very possible.

"I understand." Athrun softly brought his hand to her cheek, hoping that his touch could better convey his intentions. Cagalli flinched for a split second and Athrun's gut clenched. _Shit, did I just go too far already? You fool Athrun!_ His worries were for naught however. Cagalli quickly recovered from the initial shock and eased her head into his palm, enjoying the warmth and support as she brought her hand up to his.

"Thank you." Nothing more needed to be said. They made the short drive to the boathouse in silence, both of them smiling. After idling in the boathouse lot for a few moments, basking in the glow of a budding relationship, Athrun killed the engine and removed the keys from the ignition while drumming lightly on the steering wheel.

"So have you ever been on a boat before?"

"What kind of question is that?" Cagalli replied with a hint of indignation. "Of course I have been!"

"Well, you never know. No sense in not asking. More importantly though, do you get seasick?"

"Nope."

"Good."

"What's that supposed to mean? I mean, yeah, obviously it's good I don't get seasick, but we aren't exactly on the ocean you know."

"Oh I know. Would you mind grabbing the food?" Athrun asked as he hauled a bag containing life vests and other various boating equipment out of the trunk. Cagalli still didn't understand why he was asking about seasickness given that the lake was flat as a mirror, but she just shrugged and grabbed the bag from the store. The two walked along the dock to the moor for the motorboats. Like Athrun's oddly colored eyes and hair, his boat also stood out.

"So is that it then?" Cagalli asked excitedly, pointing at the Aegis as it rocked ever so slightly in the water.

"Yep! I've had her since I was sixteen. She still runs like new though."

"It looks like you take really good care of it."

"Her. And you're right, I've put hours and hours into this boat." Athrun replied as he threw his bag into the boat and stepped in with one foot. After ensuring relative stability, he took the bag from Cagalli and offered his hand to her. After helping her into the boat, Athrun hopped back out to unmoor the Aegis while Cagalli made herself comfortable on one of the seats at the bow, not really knowing what to do now that she was there. She sat playing with her hair, brimming with anticipation of alone time on the lake with Athrun.

"Can you swim?" He asked as he stepped into the boat and started the engine.

"Yes, I can swim." She rolled her eyes at him. "Do I still need a life vest, captain?" Athrun only grinned in reply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well I hope you're being sarcastic because I'm really not a stickler about that sort of thing. But this way at least you can't blame me if you have to tread water for a bit on the off chance you go overboard."

"Jerk." She folded her arms and pouted at him. Athrun leaned in towards her.

"That's alright." He whispered. "It would be a shame to cover you up looking like that." He winked at her and stepped back to the steering wheel, pulling the boat slowly away from the dock while Cagalli blushed and stared at her lap. _Well, I suppose that is what I wanted._ She thought to herself. _He still makes me all fluttery inside. I'm supposed to be doing that to him. And he really needs to take that shirt off! This is so unfair!_

Cagalli was brought back to reality by the acceleration of the Aegis. They were sufficiently far from the dock that Athrun felt comfortable speeding up.

"So," He said loudly as the air began to whistle slightly in their ears. "Anywhere in particular you'd like to go?"

Cagalli thought briefly about the island she could see from her cabin, but figured that Athrun probably knew his way around pretty darn well. "Wherever you think would be fun!" She replied with a smile, one that Athrun quickly returned.

"I was hoping you'd say that!" He almost shouted and punched the engine. Cagalli gasped and grasped onto her seat as best she could as the bow of the boat lifted itself out of the water only to come crashing back down. It suddenly dawned on her why he had asked about seasickness.

"Athrun!" Cagalli yelled with a look of surprise. "What are you doing?" She hadn't lied about being on a boat before, but this was not something she was used to. Athrun just grinned at her reaction and continued to race across the lake, seeking out various opportunities to get the bow airborne again.

Once Cagalli had settled down from the initial shock, she began to enjoy the little joyride immensely. The wind whipped past her, blowing her hair back and giving her a welcome break from the scorching heat of the sun on the open water. It was clear that Athrun was indeed very experienced both with the lake and the boat. She looked back at him for a moment. He was gazing off into the distance, analyzing the scene before him and looking for fun things to do. He looked quite regal and in control. Cagalli felt her chest and was sure her elevated heart rate was due to something more than just the speed of the boat. _Damn, he sure knows how to impress a lady._ She mused as Athrun pulled a quick circle around a group of sailboats, unnerving more than a few boaters. _Okay, maybe he's trying a little too hard._ She cocked an eyebrow at him, as if to explain impressing her wasn't necessary. He shrugged the look off, but seemed to take heed nevertheless. No more sailboats were scared that day.

After cruising over to the far end of the lake to show Cagalli the full extent of Archangel, Athrun headed back to a group of buoys in the center of the lake. He anchored the Aegis and killed the engine, trying to brush his hair back into place. Both of them looked as though a small hurricane had struck. He caught Cagalli doing the same and they both began to laugh at how helpless they were in undoing their wild hair.

"I won't judge if you don't?" Athrun asked.

"Sounds like a deal. I didn't bring a mirror or anything anyway."

"I would have been more surprised if you had."

"What's that supposed to imply?"

"That you aren't like Lacus?"

"Oh alright, fair enough. Does it look really bad?" She asked him. Even if she wasn't the type to always have makeup on hand, she still wanted to look her best today.

"It's actually kind of attractive. I wouldn't worry." Athrun assured her. _I'm not lying either. She looks like she just rolled out bed after a long night of sex. God damn it!_ He shook his head quickly, trying to remain as subtle as possible. _Oh well. As much as I know she's a virgin…ok well I don't know that but I think that's pretty obvious. Anyways, even if she is innocent looking, she's still really attractive. Might as well just stop fighting it. I won't get anywhere denying it and it's not like I'm dumb enough to completely act on instinct and put her in an uncomfortable position._

"Uh, Athrun. Are you alright?" Cagalli was looking up at him questioningly. Apparently he had begun staring at her during his space out.

"Yeah, sorry. You're just really hot. Anyways, do you want to eat?" He scratched the back of his head and looked up at the sky for a minute. _Oh yeah Athrun, real fucking smooth. That totally wasn't instinctual at all._

Cagalli blushed for the umpteenth time that day and simply nodded as Athrun rummaged around one of the under seat compartments, looking for the bag of food. It had shifted around due to Athrun's driving, but it had remained cool thanks to the shade provided. He walked to the front of the boat and sat down opposite Cagalli, placing the sandwiches and sodas between them. Cagalli grabbed her lunch and began unwrapping a delicious looking turkey sandwich on rye. She bit in, eager to have some reason to not speak. There was a lot going on in her mind.

On the one hand, she was still extraordinarily nervous for obvious reasons. The fact that Athrun kept mentioning his attraction to her so explicitly didn't help things either. By the same token though, he had heard her when she asked him to respect her space. He didn't just smile and nod, he appeared to actually understand what she needed. Thinking back, Cagalli realized that even before today Athrun had indeed shown respect for her body and space, even during the incident with Odin. He wanted to get closer, that much was certain. But he had done nothing to suggest he would take it too far; quite the opposite in fact. _I told him I trust him, but maybe I haven't actually acted that way. It's not like I don't trust him, I do. Maybe I'm just not allowing for any situations where he can prove himself. _

"Hey Cagalli?" Athrun was holding up his soda to her. "They probably got shaken up pretty bad today. Do you want me to open yours too?"

"Well, I suppose you did cause this situation." She looked at him kindly. "Not that I mind of course, I had a lot of fun. But yeah, I think I'll let you handle that risk." Athrun took the drinks and headed to the stern where he could easily lean over the side and not spill anything in the boat. Cagalli mulled over her options quickly, knowing she would have to make a decision before he came back. _Well, here goes nothing then._ She got up and sat on the other seat, right next to where Athrun had just been eating. Athrun couldn't help but look surprised when he turned around.

"Come and join me?" She asked tentatively. He smiled broadly and sat down next to her, handing her soda back over. Cagalli took a moment to savor the feeling of her leg against his. It was pleasant and yet electrifying. She leaned her head on Athrun's shoulder, chewing her sandwich thoughtfully. She could feel Athrun trying to suppress a cough of surprise. Given what she had told him today and how he had reacted, this was definitely pushing the envelope. _I just hope I'm not torturing him. _Cagalli thought as Athrun settled into the position. _Well, maybe I'll have to sacrifice a bit of comfort too…but I like this better. He is so warm. It's so much better…_

"Hey Athrun, can we talk about Odin for a bit?" Cagalli looked up at him questioningly. Athrun returned the gaze. If he was unprepared for the question, he didn't show it. He was clearly enjoying the whole situation too much as he placed his soda on the floor and lifted his hands in the air, gently nudging Cagalli off of him for a moment. After casually removing his shirt, he looked back to her as he tried to hide a devilish grin and failed miserably.

"Sorry, it was just getting a little hot on this boat. Sure, what would you like to know about Odin?" He leaned back into his seat and placed his arm around Cagalli, drawing her back into her original position. With Athrun's shirt out of the way Cagalli guessed that a full quarter of her body was skin on skin with his. It must have been the novelty of it all, because it felt leaps and bounds beyond anything she had experienced, even in her more intimate moments with Alex. With him, her nervousness had dulled her senses. But now for whatever reason her nervousness regarding Athrun had set her senses ablaze. She could feel his heart beating through his chest and it seemed to speed her own. Even with the sun shining down on them, she was still acutely aware of the warmth coming from his arm and his leg as they rested against her. It was as if the sensations coming from him were slowly overpowering the rest of the world, reducing it to background noise and making her focus on the very intimate position that the two had assumed. For a moment, Cagalli was unable to respond to Athrun's question.

"Hey Cagalli, you said you wanted to know about Odin right? I know that sandwich is good and all, but you can eat after you ask me."

_God! How can he act so casual at a time like this? Doesn't he feel any of this?_ It was a silly question, but Cagalli couldn't help thinking about it. However, it rapidly occurred to her that one of them acting like a nervous fool was more than enough and that based on his heart rate, Athrun was just playing the strong one for the sake of keeping the atmosphere relatively relaxed. He was nervous too. She finally responded.

"Can he speak?" Athrun looked at her incredulously.

"I think now it's my turn to ask what kind of question is that." Undeterred, Cagalli began explaining herself.

"I know that sounds weird, but I couldn't help but notice that Odin really seemed to understand you when you spoke to him. It was almost as if he actually understood English. I was thinking maybe he can like bark at appropriate times or something like that." She looked off sheepishly, realizing her question was, in fact, a bit odd. Athrun put his sandwich down and brought his free hand to his chin, stroking it thoughtfully.

"You know, crazy as that does sound, I've wondered something similar. While Odin has never 'spoken' as you described I think it's pretty obvious that he is extraordinarily intelligent. I'm not sure if that's because wolves are inherently smarter than dogs or if he is just an exception. I did a bit of poking around the internet and couldn't find anything conclusive, but I suspect the latter. Even if he doesn't understand exactly what I'm saying to him, he definitely understands my tone and the general idea. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, actually." Cagalli replied. "You're lucky to have a companion like that. What's he up to today anyways?"

"Well, when I left to pick you up this morning he was still snoozing. He usually goes off and wanders around when I'm not home. Usually it's just around the cabin but sometimes he will go off for days and fulfill his wolfish instincts to roam or try to mate or whatever it is he feels like. He may be my companion but he certainly isn't a pet. He's still a wild animal so I give him his space. He's always come back to me though, for which I'm eternally grateful. Even with Mwu and Murrue here, this place can get really lonely at times."

"Every rose has its thorns or so they say." Cagalli sighed and stared at the water as Athrun spoke again.

"Now can I ask you a question?"

"Please do." She looked back to him and smiled.

"What happened with you and your ex-boyfriend." The smile immediately left Cagalli's face. She pulled away from Athrun and stared at him with a mixture of shock and disgust. That was totally over the line. Athrun stood his ground though.

"Look Cagalli, I know it's probably not ok what I just asked but it's something I need to know. You told me you were hurt by men in the past. You implored me to not hurt you. Cagalli, I hate to say it but that's not normal for a first date. Whatever happened is still fresh in your mind and that affects me too. You said you trusted me…so please trust me. The more I know the less likely I am to hurt you." He continued to pierce her with his eyes. He had said what had to be said and he was hoping to make it sink in. _I don't even know what I'm going to do if she says no. Guess I should have thought that one out a bit more._ Cagalli brought her knees up to sit in a cross-legged position, staring down at her lap. She looked very troubled.

"Alright then. What do you want to know?" Athrun composed himself and continued tentatively.

"Did you two…you know…fuck?"

"No."

"Was he your first?"

"Yes."

"What did he do to you that made you like this?" Cagalli was silent for a moment and Athrun began to worry he had pushed too far again. He saw small tears begin to fall from Cagalli's face onto the leather seat cushion below.

It was as if a dam was breaking. Suddenly Cagalli began weeping openly. Through the tears she told Athrun about Alex, her hesitance to have sex and finally, what had happened during the week leading up to graduation and his infidelity. Athrun could do nothing but sit, watch and listen as Cagalli poured her heart out.

"I was- I was ready Athrun. I thought he was someone I could trust. Now I…I just don't know anymore. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten you involved in this mess."

Athrun again felt the burning desire to hold Cagalli and tell her to not despair. _So that's what's going on here. Man that's a rough way to end your first relationship. This explains everything. But at least I know what I should do now. I don't know if three months will be enough to help her, but I need to try. She's special. Fuck this. Enough hesitation; I'm going in._

Athrun stood and walked over to Cagalli, kneeling behind her and draping his arms over her shoulders. He pressed his chest softly against her back and whispered in her ear. "I see who you are and I see what you've been though. I'm not afraid and neither should you be. You won't get rid of me that easily Cagalli. I like this, and I know you do too. I know it's scary and full of unknowns, but I made up my mind already."

Cagalli wilted in his arms. She had no idea what had prompted Athrun to suddenly be so forward with her, but it was working. She loved his touch and she believed his words. _I want this too Athrun._ Cagalli turned and kneeled facing Athrun, locking eyes for what felt like an eternity. He was telling the truth. It was obvious. She was still confused and scared but Athrun, it seemed, was a constant. He was someone she could rely on, even if she couldn't rely on herself.

"Athrun…" She whispered softly before throwing her arms around his neck and pulling herself close to him. Athrun responded in kind. He placed one arm across the small of her back and the other over her shoulders, hugging her tightly to his chest. It was a simple embrace, but it had been ages, five years to be precise, that he had ever felt this way about anyone. He tried best he could to somehow send his feelings to her though this embrace. Her soft skin on his, her tussled blonde hair against his cheek, her small arms holding onto his back with surprising strength; he didn't want this to end…ever.

"Cagalli…"

As Athrun pulled the Aegis into the dock, he had a hard time taking his eyes off of the blonde sitting before him. She had been pensive for the remainder of the day, but she seemed both open and happy, so Athrun didn't feel like things had gone badly. If anything, it was quite the contrary. Cagalli had introduced him to her inner demons and he hadn't flinched. Things were progressing both insanely quickly and arduously slowly at the same time. Whichever way you looked at it though, a lot had happened that day.

Athrun jumped out onto the dock and quickly tied up the Aegis. Once it was fully secured he helped Cagalli off and grabbed the hose from the boathouse. Cagalli looked nervously at it.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not for you silly." Athrun laughed. "I just need to wash her off a bit. I can give you the keys to the truck if you'd like to go turn on the A/C and listen to the radio or something. I shouldn't be more than a few minutes."

"No, that's alright. I'll just relax here." Cagalli replied as she sat on one of the poles that held up the pier. "You really care about this boat don't you?"

"I mean, I guess you could say that. I love being out on the water and having something of my own to keep and maintain. That and it's just also what you're supposed to do when you own a boat. You take care of it. I don't really think of it as anything special though." Athrun explained as he walked around and sprayed down the sides of the Aegis. Cagalli watched him intently, remembering the day on the lake as the sun began to make its slow descent behind the pines.

_So he's cute, a total charmer, strong, emotional and responsible…either I'm in heaven or I have some serious rose tinted glasses on right now. It's probably a combination of both to be honest. We talked a lot about me today, but I still don't know too much about him…other than what I learned from Mwu of course. I guess in light of that it was only fair he heard what he did today. I can't say I'm disappointed either. It felt good to really get that off my chest again. It felt more…significant telling a boy about it. Not to mention the hug that followed. I guess all in all it was a pretty damn good day. Thanks Athrun._

"You ready to go?" Athrun had finished up with the Aegis and was offering his hand to her. Cagalli stood and took it without hesitation. By now it just felt natural; natural and very exciting. After throwing his bag in the back of his truck, Athrun turned to Cagalli.

"So I'm not sure what you're feeling like now, but we could grab dinner if you'd like or I could take you back home. I would totally understand if you're feeling wiped after everything today."

"Such a gentleman you are." She pulled closer to him. The shadows were growing longer now and she watched hers rest its head on his. "Dinner would be great. What were you thinking?"

"Well, I must admit there aren't too many places to go around here. Have you been to Primavera? It's the Italian place on the strip right over there. You must have walked past it before I'm sure."

"That sounds fine to me. Lead the way Athrun."

As with most places on the strip that night, the restaurant was very crowded, which detracted a bit from the romantic setting. However Athrun did insist on paying for the whole dinner. Cagalli resisted, but only to test him. In the end, Athrun won out, paid for his date, and made Cagalli a very happy woman. By the time they returned to the cabin, it was going on eleven at night and the stars were out in force. Athrun walked Cagalli to her door and hesitated, unsure of exactly how to proceed. He had felt extraordinarily confident on the boat, but that was his domain. This was different. _Do I kiss her? Do I even try or should I leave it at that?_

"I had a really great time today Athrun. Thank you so much. And thanks for putting up with me when I was going a bit crazy."

"It was my pleasure. I had a good time too. I know it was a bit weird and heavy at times, but I think we said a lot of things that needed to be said, you know?"

"Yeah. I agree. Well, I'd better get inside. I'm sure Lacus and Mir are worried sick by this point." Athrun chuckled in response.

"Well I would hate to upset the mother hens." He placed his hands on her waist and drew slightly closer. "But when can I see you again?"

Cagalli felt herself drawn to him. His deep green eyes were pulling her in. She could feel the heat of his breath on her lips. _Oh my god…_ She placed a hand on his chest.

"I'm sorry Athrun. I just…I'm just not quite ready for that ok? I'm sorry."

Athrun knew he wasn't hiding the dejection well, but it was an answer he had anticipated.

"I understand Cagalli. No worries, ok?" He smiled at her. "I don't want to pressure you into anything."

"I really appreciate it Athrun, I really do. How about we set a time and place next time we see each other at the beach ok?" Cagalli knew her suggestion was unorthodox, but for some reason their encounters on the beach were replaying in her memory and she looked back on them fondly. She figured somehow she could engineer something similar.

"Well then, I think I have a new favorite reason to go to the beach then. Goodnight Cagalli, take care alright?"

"You too Athrun. And thank you…for everything." She threw her hands around him and held him close. His chest expanded under her as he caught his breath. Her action had taken him by surprise.

"I'm sorry I'm not ready yet. But I want to kiss you. So come find me soon."

"As you wish." He whispered in her ear. Cagalli's heart jumped and fluttered. But it was time to say goodbye for the evening.

With those final words, Athrun slowly released her and headed back to his truck. He waved as he backed out of the driveway and headed back towards the lake and his own cabin. Cagalli stared at his taillights until they vanished around a corner, reveling in the lingering sensations of Athrun's touch and smell that remained with her. Turning around, Cagalli headed inside with a brilliant smile on her face.

"Welcome home." Lacus' voice called out in the dark.

"Lacus?" Cagalli jumped about a foot off the ground. "It's pitch black in here. What's going on?" As Cagalli's eyes adjusted to the light, she could make out her pink haired friend sitting in a chair in the living room. She walked closer. Something was not right. This was not like Lacus at all. It was only then that Lacus' words from that morning came back to her. _Tonight when you come back…I'm ready to tell you._

"Lacus?" Cagalli walked to her friend. Lacus was trying to hide it, but she was crying. Cagalli knelt next to her, taking her hand in her own. "Lacus, talk to me. What's going on?" She had hoped to share the details of her date with her friends, but that didn't seem so important now. Lacus was clearly distraught and had been struggling with whatever it was for a long time.

"It's ok Lacus. You can tell me. What happened?"

Lacus looked at her slowly. Cagalli saw the lines of moisture running down her face. Lacus had clearly been like this for a while. _Where the hell is Miriallia and what is going on here? This really isn't like her._

"Cagalli," Lacus whispered softly. "I'm sorry."

"Lacus, there's no need to be sorry. Just let me know what's going on here." Cagalli knew what was coming.

"I guess there's no sense in hiding it anymore Cagalli; not from you." Lacus sobbed once before continuing. "Oh god this is so embarrassing." She took a deep sigh before continuing. "I'm a lesbian Cagalli."

Cagalli tried to show a bit of surprise, but she just wanted to support her friend. She hugged Lacus tightly to her.

"And I love you just the same Lacus. Thank you for telling me. I'm here whenever you want to talk." _Well at least the worst is over now. She's gotten it off her chest and we can move on._ Cagalli thought to herself. Lacus hadn't stopped crying though.

"Cagalli…I'm in love." Lacus was breaking down now. Her sobs became louder and Cagalli could feel the wet warmth of tears on her shoulder. She was wrong. That was not "it". Cagalli's jaw dropped as her best friend spoke again.

"I'm in love with Miri."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:**

**I apologize for the long wait for chapter 11. To be honest, this story has grown into something I never anticipated. When I began writing a few months ago I had a vision of this story. While the main elements remain, almost everything else is completely unexpected for me. This was the first chapter where I truly had no idea what I wanted to write from the beginning. I appreciate your patience and I hope you enjoy it. As always please rate/review/repost. Thank you.**

**-lastamaranth**

**Chapter 11**

_Wait…what?_ Cagalli felt like she was thinking in slow motion. Lacus' admission played over again in her head. _'I'm in love with Miri'. Oh god, oh god this is not good. _It was like finding the last piece to a puzzle, only to realize it connected to an entirely new one. This was supposed to be simple; potentially embarrassing or controversial, but simple. Now there was a completely new dilemma. Lacus was in love with Miriallia. _And Miriallia borders on openly hostile towards homosexuality. Oh man, Athrun was right and then some._

As Cagalli held Lacus close, she tried to think of what Athrun would do in this situation. She doubted he was the authority on such things, but he had treated her with understanding and compassion, which was exactly what Lacus needed now.

"Lacus," Cagalli whispered. "Where is Mir?" Lacus pointed upwards as she muffled another sob. Cagalli nodded.

"Hey, I was just outside. It's still pretty warm. Why don't we head out back ok? Do you want something to drink?"

Lacus simply nodded and went out to the porch. Cagalli filled two glasses with water and joined her. Lacus was not crying as hard now. The initial shock of admitting to someone that she was truly in love with her best friend had left her. Now she seemed much more solemn, as if the gravity of the situation was setting in. _It's not like I expect Cagalli to go and tell Miri._ Lacus thought as Cagalli sat down and handed her a glass of water. _But still, now the cat's out of the bag. Someone else knows. It's only a matter of time before Miri finds out. And when she does…oh God please don't let her find out._

"Lacus," Cagalli broke her friend's reverie. "Does Miriallia know about this?"

Lacus looked back at her with a surprised look. "No, of course she doesn't. Why do you ask?"

"I was wondering if this has something to do with that altercation the two of you were having last week." Lacus' eyes dimmed.

"So was it that obvious I was lying?"

"I don't think so. Mir clearly didn't catch on and the only reason I guessed is because of Athrun." Lacus' expression turned to one of pure fear.

"Cagalli! How does Athrun know?!"

"Easy Lacus, easy."  
"Don't tell me to take it easy!" She half yelled and half sobbed. "You're the only one who is supposed to know right now! How does he know?!"

"He doesn't actually know. I just told him about the fight that you and Mir had last week. He had his suspicions and it turns out they're correct, but he doesn't know. Until you're ready, I'll deny it to the ends of the earth. Your secret is safe with me Lacus."

"Thank you Cagalli. Sorry about the yelling."

"It's alright. I'm sure this can't be easy going. I certainly won't hold it against you." Cagalli smiled sincerely at her friend, hoping to convey the safety in her words. "But in all seriousness Lacus, what are we going to do about Mir? At face value, the prospects don't look rosy. At the very least there's going to be some serious conflict if you intend on following through with this. What are your thoughts?"

Lacus stared at the ground as a few more tears fell from her face. "I'm not sure Cagalli. You saw her during our other fight. And that was just over my 'friend'." She made quotation marks with her fingers in the air. "Can you imagine what would happen if I told her that those kisses were real? Do you have any idea how she would react if she realized that the girl who knows her better than anyone is actually in love with her? I'd probably never see her again."

"Hrrrm." Cagalli hummed pensively. "I understand why you're thinking that way, but is it possible that might be an overreaction? She was hostile about some imaginary friend she doesn't know, but don't you think it would be different for you? She might be more receptive if she knows the person. Then again, I imagine if you tell her you're gay at all it will be because you then plan on telling her about your love for her." _I still can't get over this whole business! Keep it together Cagalli. If you break down this is going to be a veritable disaster and Athrun definitely won't be able to ride in on a white horse…or pickup truck…whatever!_ "Something tells me that even if she could handle you being gay…loving her too might be a bit much." She finished dejectedly.

Lacus nodded and wept bitterly. Cagalli looked on sadly. For so long, it had been her life that was seemingly unfair. Perhaps it had been, but now that paled in comparison to Lacus' situation. _Man, I can't even imagine what that must be like. At least when I have desires like that it's socially acceptable to express them. On top of that…Miriallia. What the hell do I do? Athrun…what would you do here?_ Cagalli stood and sat on the arm of Lacus' chair, stroking her mane of silky pink hair as she continued to cry. Cagalli's heart, which had been aflutter just moments before, now felt like a lead weight. Her friend who had helped her so much was suffering in front of her and there was nothing she could do.

"Lacus, do you want to go home?" It was a foolish suggestion, but Cagalli was truly out of ammunition at this point.

"No. I know that might seem like a good idea right now, but it's not a solution." Lacus said as she composed herself. "Now that you know and Athrun basically knows…this won't stay a secret forever. I don't want it to. I don't want to live my life as something I'm not. And unlike Miriallia, I have a family to go home to that will always accept me for who I am." Lacus stared out over the lake with a steely gaze. Cagalli almost fell off of her chair. _No. This can't be._

"Lacus…what did you just say about Miriallia's family? Cause from the sound of it…" Cagalli let her sentence trail off in a concerned tone. This was not the place to ask this, but it was hard to avoid.

"I know what you want to ask Cagalli. To be honest, I don't know about Miriallia for sure. All I know is that if she is…" Lacus hesitated for a moment, struggling with the words. Swallowing hard, she continued. "If she is indeed like I am, a lesbian, she may not have a family to go back to." They were clearly the most painful words that Lacus had uttered that night. With every sentence, the essence of the situation became more convoluted in Cagalli's mind. _So it's not just that Lacus is a lesbian. I guess that makes sense. She hasn't really been into the guy scene lately and she seems very confident about the whole thing…all things considered. It's the fact that she is threatening Miriallia just by being who she is…fuck this is messed up. But that still doesn't solve the crux of the issue._

"Lacus." Cagalli looked down at her friend after a few seconds spent in silent thought. "If we had to take a guess right now about Miriallia…do you think she's a lesbian too? And if she is, how could we know or make her realize it?"

Lacus' eyes widened as she returned Cagalli's gaze. This was not how she thought the evening would go, but perhaps Cagalli had inherited some of her father's problem solving ability. Lacus blushed as she considered her friend's question. The last couple of weeks ran through her mind again, as did the more recent intimate moments she had shared with Miriallia at college.

"Promise not to tell anyone?" Lacus asked Cagalli with a pleading look. It seemed that a very large secret was about to be spilled.

"My lips are sealed."

"Alright…well…where do I start on this one?" Lacus mused aloud. "Well, as I'm sure you're aware; I've been bisexual for a while now. And when I first met you, the idea of sexually interacting with a woman was new to me. I had kissed a couple of girls playing spin the bottle during high school and other crap like that, but it was never that big of a deal and I was definitely more comfortable with the idea of guys."

"So did that change when you met Miriallia?" Cagalli asked, hoping it was ok for her to interject at all.

"Well, I suppose you could say that. It wasn't immediate by any stretch of the imagination. You know I've been with a few guys during college. The idea is still ok with me, so I guess I'm technically a bisexual…but she electrifies me Cagalli. Her lips are unlike anything I've ever felt…" Lacus lost herself in reflection for a moment as Cagalli's face turned rosy in the dark. These were details she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. Lacus continued after a moment and a tear.

"When I first kissed Miri, it was…awkward to be honest. For the first time I was actually going at it of my own initiative. It wasn't a dare, it wasn't a game. It may have been because of the alcohol, but it was still something organic. All that aside, it was a wonderful feeling. There wasn't any sort of power struggle or excessive force like you sometimes get with a guy. It just felt…beautiful, you know?"

Cagalli looked at her with eyebrows raised. "I don't really, as you might imagine. But I'll take your word for it. I'm guessing things evolved over time?"

"You could say that for sure." Lacus blushed as she continued. She smiled slightly, as if reliving a particularly fond memory. "It's not like there was a specific instance, but over time things changed between the two of us. Things became…less sloppy."

"Da fuck?" Cagalli was suddenly very lost. Lacus grinned at her friend's confusion.

"That may not have been the best word, but it's true. The first few times both of us were exceedingly drunk and acted as such. No clothes ever came off, but it was still a mess. But things started changing in junior year. We would kiss after far fewer drinks. We were more in control. We were more aware of what we were doing. In the end, alcohol became a scapegoat instead of a facilitator…for me at least. I would say I did it because I was drunk, but every time I touched her lips it became more and more a conscious decision on my part." Lacus paused for a minute, trying to appraise the look on Cagalli's face. The blonde knew her roommates kissed on occasion, but she was only now discovering just how common an occurrence that had been.

"And…" Cagalli began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Did Mir follow the same general path? Did she drink less too? Was it the same level of…choice, I guess?"

"Well I can't be certain about the last one question, but I know she began drinking less when we kissed. Regardless of how forceful or passionate she was the night before though, she would insist that is was just the booze talking; as I'm sure you've heard more than once."

"And you're certain it _wasn't_ just the booze? I hate to be a downer here, but it just doesn't seem like the sort of thing Miriallia would do…you know…sober." Lacus' face became drawn, but she didn't seem upset at the accusation. She replied calmly, but with an urgency that Cagalli had rarely seen in her.

"Cagalli, how many people have you kissed…truly kissed?"

"Just the one."

"Take it from me then. There is a certain heat and force that you can only conjure in a kiss if you are all there. It's soft and firm at the same time…I guess the best way to describe it is that sober kisses are nuanced. Even if the kiss is forceful, a drunken kiss is much different than a sober one. When you're sober, you don't get a free pass with your mental blocks and inhibitions. Even if you don't think about it actively, it's almost impossible to not convey how you truly feel about someone when your mouths lock. Even if you can manage to lie with your lips once, it's something only the most capable…and evil people do on a regular basis. Miri tried to hide it, but it was impossible. She was…maybe still is…drawn to me the same that I was to her. I admit, I am biased here Cagalli, but it felt like she wanted more too…" Lacus had to stop there. She inhaled deeply and tried to hold back a sob as Cagalli rubbed her back between her shoulder blades.

"It's ok Lacus, I understand." _That still doesn't mean I know what to do here!_ Cagalli thought as she stared blankly at the moon, now high above the lake.

"Wait, Lacus." Cagalli asked suddenly. "You said Miriallia tried to hide how she felt right? I can't really imagine it would be for your benefit, not when you were such a willing participant. Right?!" There was a gleaming in Cagalli's eyes as she continued.

"Lacus, have there ever been instances where you felt like Mir was close to…giving in?" Now it was Lacus' turn to be shocked at her friend's audacity. But she couldn't deny it, Cagalli was right.

"Yes."

"More than once?"

The last few weeks rushed past again like a whirlwind in Lacus' mind. Miriallia's voice played again. _'I…we can't' _

"Yes."

"Can you tell me anything else that might clue us in here?" There was a long silence. It was clear Lacus wanted to say something but was struggling with it.

"I found…once. I once found an LGBT flyer under her bed. It had been intentionally hidden from what I could tell. It was only once though and…"

"Stop now Lacus." Cagalli was looking her friend dead in the eye. _She doesn't want to accept it. It's not the easy path…but in the end…she has to._ Cagalli was about to unleash her characteristically blunt honesty.

"Lacus, Miriallia is at the very least bisexual. I'm certain of that now. And I'm willing to stake my relationship with Athrun that she feels the same as you. It's like you said before. She pushes back so hard because it means completely re-evaluating and re-shaping her life. I can never imagine having to choose between love and family." Cagalli took a deep breath and continued.

"The time for indecision is over Lacus. I know you've wanted this to be true. I don't know for how long, but I'm telling you right now that even if you say you don't know…deep down…I think you've been certain for a while about her and her feelings. I don't know how you intend to go about it, but it's about time you told Miriallia you love her…because she loves you too. And I'll be with you every step of the way if you need me." Feeling quite impressed with her little speech and feeling a sense of resolution, Cagalli glanced down at Lacus who was staring at her wide-eyed and speechless.

"You're in a relationship with Athrun? And you haven't kissed him yet?!"

Cagalli buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. _FUCK!_

Across the lake, Athrun lay on his bed. Odin was beside him on the floor, also weary from a day in the wilds. Staring up at the raw pinewood ceiling, Athrun continued muttering to himself as he languidly stroked the wolf behind the ears. Cagalli had left quite an impression.

"Sheesh, she certainly doesn't play fair now does she. Wearing a top like that while telling me she's afraid of sex, boys and god knows what else." Odin whined a bit at his owner's harsh tone. Athrun cocked his head to the side and looked at his companion. His eyes softened.

"I suppose you're right. I guess I'm being a bit tough on her. Even the shy ones like feeling pretty and appreciated. Especially the shy ones now that I think about it…" Athrun turned back to the ceiling. He was trying to stop it, but thoughts of Elizabeth were coming back to him. The parallels were just too similar to ignore. He remembered her shy smile, long black hair and nervous laugh; cursing himself for comparing two women to one another.

_How can I not though?_ Athrun thought to himself as he rolled over to face the wall. Shadows played over his solemn face as the lantern in the corner flickered. _I really need to install some light fixtures. Not that that's on topic…sheesh. I guess it can't be helped though if I compare Cagalli to Elizabeth. When you're just screwing a girl it's easy come easy go. Here though it's pretty clear we're both emotionally invested, same as back then. I'm sorry Liz._ Athrun closed his eyes and grimaced as the memories from five years ago played though his mind like an old film…

"Athrun I just don't understand. What do you mean you can't leave here?" Elizabeth's hair had fallen over her face as she sat on his bed, her watery eyes partially obscured from Athrun's deadpan gaze. Where there had been loving warmth in his eyes before there was now a gray defiance.

"Elizabeth I've already told you, I need to stay here in Archangel. This is my home. It's where I grew up. They need me here." He tried to explain, voice devoid of emotion. What Athrun was feeling was new and frightening. For the first time, he was the source of another person's sorrow. He wanted the feeling to be over…immediately

"Who needs you?!" Elizabeth continued, becoming more distraught. "Mwu and Murrue? Athrun, they're like your parents. Don't you think they'd want you to go off and see the rest of the world instead of being stuck here for the rest of your life? Don't you have any desire for something more than this?!"

"That's enough Liz!" Athrun raised his voice in anger. Who was she to undermine him? He ended up immediately regretting it.

"Oh don't you call me Liz, Athrun! I fell in love with you. I gave everything to you. And now when I ask you for something…anything more than a summer fling you push me away! I'm not asking you to leave right now Athrun. We could do long distance, or I could visit, or something!" Elizabeth was becoming desperate, there were tears running down her face now, trailing off into her long dark hair. Athrun said nothing.

"So that's it then? So that's all I was to you? Just some beach bimbo for you to fuck?!" She continued sobbing.

Athrun's insides were twisting with pain. _Why can't she understand? Why can't this just be over?_ He reached out to touch her shoulder. "Elizabeth, you know that's not true. I just…it just wouldn't work."  
"Don't touch me Athrun!" The situation had devolved into hysterics. "I never…" Elizabeth stopped and swallowed back her tears as long as she could. "I never should have fallen for you Athrun Zala! You broke my heart and I don't know when or if it will ever heal." She stood, trying to seem strong and in control. "Don't come looking for me Athrun. Don't you ever try to find me again! I hope you treat the girl next summer better than you did me." Her mind made up, Elizabeth rushed out of the bedroom, threw open the door and ran off to the main road. Tears streamed from her face in a torrent. It had taken all of her will to make that last proclamation to the first man she had ever loved.

Athrun was so shocked that by the time he made it to his front porch, Elizabeth was already out of sight beyond the pines that lined the main road into town. "Elizabeth…" Athrun whispered. "I…I'm sorry." He wanted to run after her. He wanted to chase her down and hold her as he had done many times before. He wanted to whisper in her ear that everything would be ok but he couldn't. "I just…I just can't leave."

…"Liz." Athrun shook his head furiously and turned back to Odin. "What should I do boy? I've never wanted anything as badly as Cagalli but the summer won't be enough; for her or for me. I can't hurt another girl like I hurt Liz. I'm sure you remember that right?" Odin turned his head to the side and stared at Athrun intently before covering his head with his paws.

"If you're telling me to give up I'm going to have to disregard that advice. I can't; not after all that happened today. I just feel like…she needs me. I can't just leave her like this."

_But what will I do if it comes to that again? Maybe I'm being delusional. Maybe it's me who needs her. Maybe I'm the one really looking for a second chance. But if she gives it to me…then what?_

Head swirling with troubled thoughts, Athrun finally nodded off to sleep.

As he walked slowly through the dark forests of his dream world, Athrun's fingers twitched nervously on the handle and trigger of his crossbow. He had a plan. It was crazy, foolish and completely dependent on his force of will. _That said…it's worth a shot. The tried and true 'kill everything' plan isn't getting me too far._ _I wonder if she will even listen to me at this point. What am I even thinking?! It's my dream. I should be able to do whatever I want…_ Athrun grimaced as he walked on towards his inevitable destination, reminding himself that he definitely was not in full control of this world.

Coming once again to the clearing full of demons, Athrun began his systematic, ritualistic killings. He bellowed loudly as demons fell to both sword and bolt.

"ELIZABETH!" He yelled, slicing through the skull of another lesser demon. Athrun discarded his crossbow and lifted his visor, scanning the open area before him. Though the succubi all looked fairly similar, Athrun was able to easily pick out the raven black hair he had been looking for. He mercilessly marched towards her, killing anything that got in his way. Skulls were smashed and limbs were sundered. Some nights Athrun struggled to take them all down, as if surrender would save him from the greater pain that awaited. Today though, not even a brick wall could stop him. The vile temptress turned to him as he dispatched the last of her brood. Even with his sword raised, she remained unsettlingly calm.

"Oh Athrun," She mewled sweetly at him. "If you wanted to have some alone time with me you didn't have to go through all of this." Demon Elizabeth sauntered up to him, accentuating her curvy hips and making Athrun happy he was behind a suit of armor. If there was one thing in this world he was susceptible to…it was this. "Why don't we go lay down sweetie, you look exhausted." She continued, bringing her dark purple nails to touch his face and motioning to one of the larger one story, hut-like dwellings that lined the clearing. _So that's where she sleeps_.

"Enough." Athrun said firmly, feeling heat rise within him but controlling it. He batted her hand away with a swipe of his gauntlet. "I didn't come here to indulge you…or in you, Elizabeth. Once was more than enough. Look where it's got me."

Athrun could see a small change in the demoness' eyes, but it was quickly gone as she attempted to approach him again. "Sweetie," she called to him softly, voice dripping with sex. "That was only a small taste. If it didn't satisfy you then, I think you'll find me more than capable." Athrun braced himself as she grabbed his arms and pressed her voluptuous body into his armor. Even with a quarter inch of metal separating them, it was difficult to resist her raw sex appeal. Athrun closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"I said ENOUGH!" He yelled again, throwing the succubus on her back and leaping to straddle her, his sword at her throat. "I've killed you numerous times and I can easily do it again. I don't want to speak with this…thing I see in front of me. I want to speak to the woman I loved!" Athrun was panting now, sweating heavily. The combination of emotional and physical exertion was showing on his face. He waited for the demon below him to respond, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. The change came back to her eyes, and it remained.

"That part of me is…gone now Athrun." She replied, voice still tantalizing but not intentionally so. "But I will speak with you." Athrun nodded and stood, offering her his steel-clad hand. "Still the gentleman I see. Come. I'm sure your questions involve her." Elizabeth extended a long, demonic finger towards the lake. Cagalli was there again, hanging and unconscious. The two former lovers walked towards her. Athrun took a glance at Elizabeth's face. It wasn't distressed, but he saw deep sorrow. For what, he wasn't sure. If the sane part of her was gone, what could be left? They stopped about ten paces from the edge of the water where steel-grey waves lapped softly onto the shore.

"You know Athrun, she would have done anything for you. And yet you just let her go, without a fight."

"She didn't want a fight." He said solemnly, looking at his feet. "She never wanted to see me again."

"Foolish boy. All women love to be chased, love to be made to feel like something special. After all, how can love be true if you aren't willing to make sacrifices for it?" Elizabeth's tone was now matronly and accusatory. Athrun had not intended to be on the defense. This was supposed to be his interrogation.

"She asked too much! She was asking for me to sacrifice everything!" He replied, trying to justify his actions from five years ago.

"Then why are you here?" She spat. Athrun gathered his thoughts before speaking again.

"I need to know about this; all of this." Athrun spread his arms wide, indicating the clearing and the cross. "What the hell is it and how do I stop it?"

"If you can mercilessly slaughter me and my children with ease, why is it so important to you? Why do you care so much if one more is added to our ranks?" Elizabeth gestured at Cagalli's limp form.

"She will not join you." Athrun growled, his voice now full of venom. "I need to know how to stop this. I figured you would know how."

"And if I did, why would I tell you after what you did to her…to me?"

"It seems like some of the woman I knew is still in there." Athrun spoke again, softening his voice considerably, looking into her dark eyes. "I came to get information…and to say that I'm sorry. It doesn't change the situation, but I still think of that day. I'm sorry. I want to prevent what happened to you from happening again, to Cagalli."

Pride and pain were mixed in the succubus' expression. "Do you know what I represent Athrun? Do you know what I am?"

"A succubus?"

"Quaint, but not exactly. My daughters, and the other girls you've brought to us, they are succubi. I however am something more. I am their brood mother. I am capable of this because you not only mated with me, but you loved Elizabeth. Therefore, of course, you are their father." A cruel smile formed on Elizabeth's face as Athrun gripped his sword tightly in regret.

"So what does that mean?" He managed to say.

"We are your folly Athrun. We are a manifestation of the mistakes that you've made since your fateful encounter with a sweet black-haired maiden all those years ago. Until now, your solution has been to either avoid us, or to violently suppress us. However, demons of the mind are not so easily dispatched. We are not the demons you read about in your world."

"So you are permanent?"

"Athrun, do you love that woman?"

"What?"

"Do you love that woman? Do you love her the way you loved…me?"

"Yes." Athrun had never been so sure of anything in his life. It both took Elizabeth by surprise and caused a prolonged silence where both of them stared at the foreboding metal cross.

"Athrun, when you return here next I will be gone."

"What?!"

"For these long few years, you have never loved. You were afraid. You still are. However, in spite of that, you have now chosen to love again. My time, Elizabeth's time, and the time of our children are at a close. Should you fail again, the cycle will begin anew. Cagalli will be transformed and I suspect you will be powerless to resist her. I can see it in your eyes…and in your heart. Whereas I took you, you will give yourself willingly to her memory. Whether you will be able to escape from that cycle of despair and lost promises is not for me to say. However, what I can say is this." She turned to Athrun and before he could stop her, gave him a deep, loving kiss. Athrun could not help but close his eyes and respond for a fleeting moment. It felt just like it had five years ago, when they became one for the first time. The demon quickly pulled away and spoke again.

"You hurt Elizabeth. You hurt her deeply. But she and I understand that what we asked of you was impossible. Neither she nor I wish to see this continue. For just as she loved you, I am bound to do so. If you wish to save Cagalli, you must abandon your fear. Where you were paralyzed to act, you must now be swift. And above all Athrun, you must have faith in yourself. Do not let your past determine who you are."

"I think…I think I understand." He looked up at her with thanks in his eyes.

"You do not now. But I feel that in time, when you must, you will. I will now release you from this world Athrun. I do not wish for you to see her harmed this night. When you next return, you will find only her and I will not be here to stop it. We will be gone from this plane forever. Goodbye Athrun Zala."

As the world slowly faded to black around him, Athrun could have sworn he saw the glimmer of a tear at the edge of Elizabeth's eye. _Do succubi cry?_ _Perhaps not, but she's not just a succubus._

"Goodbye Elizabeth."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Athrun slowly opened his eyes to find the world blurred. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and sat up in his bed. "Well, that's not very manly at all now is it?" Swinging his legs over the side, Athrun stood and stretched his arms towards the ceiling. For better or worse, the previous night's dream would not be leaving him any time soon. "Have faith in myself? Isn't that something I already do?" The meaning of those words remained obscure to him. As far as Athrun could judge his own character, he didn't have any issue with self-esteem, commitment or decision making that could be seen as a lack of faith. The mystery wasn't going to be solved then and there anyway, so Athrun shrugged off his conscience and dressed himself quickly, throwing on jeans and a t-shirt.

Odin barked and yipped happily as Athrun treaded into the kitchen, his socks muffling his footfalls. "You're certainly chipper this morning." Athrun said with a hint of humor in his voice. Odin's happy demeanor was infectious, and soon Athrun was making breakfast for two without a hint of concern on his face.

"You know, you're one spoiled mutt." Athrun said as he placed a plate of eggs and bacon before his slobbering friend. "Just try not to make too much of a mess, alright?" He cautioned as he sat down to enjoy his own breakfast, watching the blurred reflection of the sun as it tried to poke through the morning fog over the lake. Contemplating the steely gray water, Athrun thought about the day before. Cagalli occupied the entirety of his thoughts as he slowly chewed his breakfast. Her shape, scent, touch, laughter, tears; they all returned to the forefront of his mind. _So close…we were so close!_ Athrun thought as he remembered the moment on her doorstep.

Their lips had been practically touching. He remembered the heat they had exchanged, breathing shallowly in anticipation. Any closer and Athrun was sure static electricity would have begun flying between the two of them. But Cagalli had stayed him. She had pushed him back. Athrun's gaze dropped to his plate as he remembered how their date had concluded. _For someone who claims she wants to kiss me, she's sure made it hard for me to see her again. _He rubbed his temples as he moved on to remember his dream from the previous night. No matter how you sliced it, it was a lot to think about. For Athrun, there was a tried and true method for dealing with situations like this. He looked down at Odin as he took his plate to the sink. The wolf was licking the remainder of his breakfast off of the floor. "What do you say to a walk, eh boy?" Odin barked and wagged his tail furiously.

Fifteen minutes later Odin bounded out the front door at turned around, waiting for his partner. Athrun locked the door and stepped down off the porch. He wasn't planning on being gone for more than the day, so he had only brought a small pack with a can of dog food and various portable rations and water for himself. Much as Archangel looked clean, Athrun knew better than to take that chance and drink the lake water. With a smile and large wolf in tow, Athrun set off towards the lake and away from the beach and civilization.

Meanwhile, back at cabin number 53, Lacus and Cagalli were muttering to each other over their own breakfast. Once Cagalli had let slip that she was "dating" Athrun, Lacus had demanded every little detail. After encouraging Cagalli to set a firm next date the next time she saw Athrun, the two went to sleep well past midnight. Their excitement was allowing them to run on the sleep deficit they were currently experiencing. Even though they had gone to sleep well after Miriallia, they had woken up early. Whether Mir was simply tired or trying to avoid any tension with Lacus was unclear.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do Lacus? I mean, I'm fine with it but do you really want to be with her alone for the whole day?" Cagalli asked in a hushed tone. Lacus planned to test the waters that day, but wanted to do so alone if possible.

"Yes, I'm sure." Lacus whispered back. "Much as I appreciate your support and concern, this is really something I need to do alone. Miri won't be happy, but I need to make sure your…our evaluation of her is correct. I need to make sure that she's really on the same page as I am. Then, if that's all well and good, we can go from there. If you're around, she might try to use you as a way to escape the more controversial parts of the process."

"I suppose that does make sense. Well, I've always wanted to go on a walk around the lake and see what the other side is like by that island. I'm sure I can be out of your hair for most of the day."

"Thank you Cagalli." Lacus replied sweetly. "I'll be sure to fill you in on everything later."

"You'd better!" Cagalli grinned at her friend. "Lord knows you heard everything about Athrun and me." Cagalli had left out the crying parts, but other than that Lacus did know the whole story. Of course she had been in favor of a kiss; but she also readily admitted it wasn't her call to make.

The two girls cleared their places and headed upstairs to use the bathroom. Cagalli wasn't sure what would await her once she got around the lake, so she tried to choose an outfit that was appropriate both for summer temperatures and the eventuality of going off road. She decided on a form fitting red t-shirt, cargo pants and her favorite pair of boots. Lacus saw her off back downstairs.

"Here is a water bottle, some chocolate and a couple breakfast bars. I don't know if that will do for a full lunch, but it should be easy to carry around when you're walking, especially if you're going to be out for a while. Oh here, take an apple too!" Lacus was bouncing around the kitchen, outfitting Cagalli for her little adventure.

"I think I'll be fine Lacus, but thank you." Cagalli laughed in approval. "Good luck with Mir today. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. I'll always love you for who you are, okay?" She grabbed Lacus by her upper arms and held her gaze. "She would be crazy to turn someone like you down."

Lacus smiled and pulled Cagalli into a deep hug. "Thank you so much Cagalli, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"Same goes for me Lacus. Thank you." With that exchange and a parting wave, Cagalli headed out the door and onto the road that encircled the near half of Lake Archangel. Walking away from the beach, Cagalli looked up into the still partly cloudy, foggy sky and breathed deeply. The air was moist and cool, filling her lungs with vitality. _Ah, it's a damn good day to be alive. Lacus is right though, I really should have given Athrun some definite time or place to see me again. God I want to see him so badly. Oh well, given the size of this place I'm sure it won't be long, especially if he feels the same way._ Cagalli grinned to herself, fairly convinced that Athrun did indeed feel the same way she did. With that pleasant thought occupying her mind, she treaded on towards the far end of the lake.

_Man, this is not what I had imagined this walk would be like, but it's certainly a pleasant surprise._ A couple hours later, Cagalli was well past the last stretch of paved road that meandered around the lake's shore. She had expected rougher terrain once she got past this area, but she was already close to the far end of the lake and the earth was still very flat. Every now and again she would have to be careful to dodge a tree root or a large rock, but that was the most that her walk had demanded of her so far. Cagalli was thankful for the lack of exertion, otherwise she would have surely been covered in sweat.

For whatever reason, that day the fog was proving particularly resilient to the sun's heat. Instead of burning off in the morning, it still hung around both on the lake and in low hanging clouds. It was already past midday. As a result, the climate was oppressively humid and Cagalli was wishing she had chosen shorts instead. She had scant little time to dwell on the weather too much. Having made her way to the far end of Archangel, she was now walking back along the other side, meaning that mysterious island in the distance was now straight ahead of her, and no longer so distant.

As she walked closer, Cagalli couldn't help but be disappointed. She wasn't sure why the island had seemed so important to her, but it really wasn't living up to expectations. It was a very small spit of land, probably a couple hundred feet in diameter from what she could tell. Even from her distance, it was clear that it was heavily overgrown; no doubt an excellent place to hide. The only remarkable feature about the island was two ropes with bright yellow buoys on them. Both of the ropes were attached to the island on one end and stretched across the narrow stretch of water to the lake shore on the other end. Between them a small area of the lake was clearly designated as a "do not enter" zone. Upon her approach, Cagalli soon saw why.

Edging cautiously closer, Cagalli noticed a section where the lakeshore seemed to vanish. To her left, the water lapped slowly at the rock beneath her feet. To the right, the landscape was sharply dropping off as she walked closer to the anchor point of the near rope. She was now on a cliff about six feet wide and at least thirty feet tall. Before her was the dead apex of a waterfall. Peering over the edge, Cagalli saw a cluster of smooth looking rocks sitting in a bed of silt. Over time, they had been eroded by overflow from the lake during heavy periods of rain. Though she was no expert of geology, it was clear to Cagalli that originally water had simply flowed out of the lake at this location. Over time though, the rock she was standing on remained, which the lighter soil washed off, forming the cliffs she now stood on. The ropes were clearly intended to warn the curious guest who decided to travel the length of the lake.

"Well, I suppose this was worth the walk." Cagalli said to herself, knowing no one was around to hear her. "But I can't say I'm pleased about having to walk all the way back around, down and back up the other side. Oh well, it's not like I'm going to swim over there in this outfit." Retracing her steps, Cagalli made her way down a steep grade to the base of the cliff. The smooth rocks she had seen from above were more like boulders, and judging by the polished-looking surfaces, they had been there for hundreds of years. Feeling the first pangs of midday hunger, Cagalli sat down on one of the flat, cool rocks and began eating some of the provisions she had brought along. _Ah, this is nice. Even though I miss him, it's definitely good to have some alone time._

Suddenly Cagalli heard a violent rustling of branches as a large flock of birds erupted from the forest about a hundred yards away from where she was eating. Their cries of indignation at being disturbed had destroyed Cagalli's "zen". She didn't have to wait long to find the source of the disturbance. Bounding out of the trees came a massive timber wolf, and he looked happy to see her. "Oh geez, are you kidding me?! Odin, what the hell are you doing here? And slow down you crazy wolf!"

At her words, the wolf skidded to a stop and placed his front paws on her rock, eager for petting or food, but most likely both. Cagalli couldn't help but smile at the overly affectionate creature and extended her hand, scratching his ears under his thick fur. Odin panted appreciatively as Cagalli spoke again.

"So, are you out here alone again, or did you bring your buddy Athrun with you?" She asked the canine playfully.

As if on cue, Athrun came stumbling out of the forest. He had clearly had a difficult time keeping up with his furry friend. His jeans were dirty, his t-shirt had multiple sweat stains on it and his dark blue hair was disheveled, flying about as he ran. Odin barked happily and ran back to him, as Athrun stopped to catch his breath.

"Now then," he said between breaths. "What was so bloody important you had to run around half the lake…" Athrun's voice trailed off when he lifted his head as saw what Odin had been looking for.

Cagalli wasn't sure how she managed to do it, but she spoke and managed to sound normal, even nonplussed at the fortuitous occurrence. "Hi there, Athrun." A grin lit up Athrun's tired face. Cagalli almost swooned.

Athrun's grin was a mask. Though it had its desired effect, Athrun was only barely hiding a welling sense of disappointment and anger. In the past, whenever he needed to solve a problem or think something over he did so alone. Period. That was just the way Athrun Zala functioned. Now, however, at the farthest end of the lake where he was most sure he would be able to meditate calmly on the pleasurable problem he faced, the very root of that problem was smiling beautifully at him. Athrun's anger subsided as quickly as it had risen up within him. The Cagalli standing before him was starkly different than the one he had seen yesterday. Her outfit was anything but provocative, yet still somehow incredibly attractive to him. She looked strong, capable and confident. Athrun felt a primal stirring in his groin that he swiftly tried to put down.

"Cagalli, I have to say this is quite a surprise. What are you doing here?" He asked with genuine curiosity in his voice.

"Just taking a walk, you?" It wasn't particularly apparent what else she could say as she hopped off the rock and approached Athrun.

"You could say that. I was just hoping to get out for a bit and clear my head."

"For someone who lives here year round and lives outside of town away from all the bustle; that seems a little odd if you don't mind my saying."

"I don't particularly, but it's not really anything you need to worry about." Athrun tried to sound convincing. The truth was the exact opposite, but Athrun wasn't the heart-on-your-sleeve kind of guy, especially when it came to things like what he had dreamt the previous night.

Cagalli stopped a few inches in front of him, unsure of what to do. His bright green eyes seemed a bit sorrowful, but they gave away little else. Feeling a lurch of adrenaline in the pit of her stomach, she took the initiative, pulling Athrun into an embrace. She hugged him tightly.

"Well that's no fun at all mister grumpy gills." She pulled back slightly to look at his face. Athrun was clearly stunned, unsure of what to say or do. The recognition of the subtle power she seemed to have made Cagalli's heart beat fast as her body flushed with pride and more than a hint of lust. For whatever reason Athrun's lower lip was irresistibly calling to be bitten and sucked. But thinking it and doing it were two different things entirely, so Cagalli put her fantasy on hold in the hopes of getting a feel for what was troubling Athrun. "Maybe if you talked to someone about it you'd feel better?" She asked him sweetly, maintaining contact with him from the waist down, her small hands clasped around the small of his broad back.

_For the love of God and all that is holy, doesn't she realize I'm ready to take her on one of these rocks?! Much less kiss her._ Athrun was trying desperately to keep it together. Cagalli had been on his mind for the last 24 hours or more and suddenly here she was, holding her pelvis firmly against his, after so recently denying him a kiss. He knew his eyes were probably glazing over with lust. _Thank God I wore jeans today or she would be getting quite the surprise right now._

Like a respite from Zeus himself, the slow, distant roll of thunder broke their gaze and embrace. Cagalli turned her eyes skyward. "Hey Athrun, is the sky supposed to be green like that?" She asked with genuine curiosity. Athrun cursed under his breath. In his preoccupied mental state that morning he had forgotten to check the weather. The mist and fog was giving way quickly to dark clouds that were moving in hastily from the west. The sky had that greenish tint that only signifies one thing: a summer storm. Neither of them had brought rain gear. Even if they had, there was a good chance those efforts would have been futile. There was one recourse left to them.

"We should probably go. There's a storm coming, and it's big." Athrun looked back down at Cagalli as a gust of wind played through strands of her blonde hair. "Come with me." Athrun's voice was soft, but it was still an unmistakable order.

"But Athrun, I need to get home if there's a storm on its way." Cagalli was confused, looking for clarification.

"My cabin is closer. Even then I doubt we will make it back before the rain or hail starts. Come on." He grabbed her hand and began walking back the way he had come. Cagalli didn't protest, though her cheeks flushed red with blood. _How unceremonious! He's just going to take me back to his place, just like that? Not exactly the most romantic idea ever, but I do love a man who can take charge. But going to Athrun's house?!_ It was only then that it occurred to Cagalli that Athrun lived on his own. Her face turned crimson as the sky darkened. Soon she would be with Athrun, in his house, alone, in the middle of a gathering storm. Cagalli couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear. _Oh my god._

"Cagalli, are you alright?" Athrun asked between breaths. They had been walking very quickly for a good hour or so. The sky had gone from light to dark gray over that period of time and neither of them had any idea how the sky was managing to hold back the apparent deluge. Athrun was in far better shape than Cagalli and was hoping he wasn't pushing her too hard.

"I'm fine…I think." Cagalli huffed at him. "As long as it's not much longer." As she uttered those words, a large drop of water hit her head. She gave Athrun an 'uh-oh' look as she felt the cool liquid run down from her hair onto her face. "How much farther did you say it was?"

"Ten minutes. Five if we run." He gave her an appraising look, wondering how much stamina she had left.

"Well shit." Cagalli fumed back. "I guess let's just run and see what happens." The two of them took off through the trees as the skies opened above them.

"I have to hand it to you, I didn't think you had that much running left in you!" Athrun said with his hands on his knees. The rain had undoubtedly caused the pair to run faster. It didn't make much difference however. They reached Athrun's cabin soaked to the bone. "Let's get inside and dry off, yeah?" He held out his hand for Cagalli to take. She was lying on her back on the damp wooden floor of the porch. The final sprint had taken a lot out of her, and though she registered Athrun's request, her mind would not let her move. In addition to all of the other firsts that were mandated by the storm, it was now clear that she would have to remove her clothing, all of it, in Athrun's house. The rain thundered down around them as she slowly got up, feeling an intense fear fed by deep wounds from the past.

Despite this fear, and the fact that she was soaked, Cagalli couldn't help but take in Athrun's cabin as she stepped inside. It was all pine with metal fixtures. She was in a decently spacious kitchen/dining area with a window looking out onto the lake. Adjacent was what she assumed to be Athrun's room since there were no other obvious spaces inside the small cabin. A large dog bed was stowed under the window, where Odin immediately took up residence after shaking himself dry on the porch, indifferent to the plight of his human companions.

"Well aren't you a lucky one." Cagalli chided him softly as he curled into a ball and rested. He had run home too after all.

"Wait here for a moment would you?" Athrun asked calmly. His tone was reassuring. Cagalli could tell that he was aware both of her trepidation and the gravity of the situation. She couldn't tell if he felt the same way but she smiled faintly at his back as he headed into his bedroom. At least he was respecting her feelings.

Athrun returned moments later holding a towel, a pair of sweat pants and an undershirt of his. He looked down sheepishly at the items in his hands and back to Cagalli. "Uh, well, I figured you should probably change out of your clothes. Wouldn't want you to catch a cold or anything. I know they aren't fancy, but they'll probably fit you best out of the clothes I own. You can use the bathroom if you'd like." Athrun motioned towards his room. "I'll get changed out here."

"Thank you Athrun, I'm sure it'll be fine." Cagalli said, blushing anew and looking at his chest. For some reason she just couldn't look him in the eye. She was wet and cold and yet her chest was tight, her stomach was in knots and her core was on fire. She knew it was necessity and a product of the circumstances, but what she was doing…what they were doing…was the stuff of couples, of lovers. Or at the very least the moment held the potential for such actions. With a quick glance up at Athrun's emerald eyes and an embarrassed smile, Cagalli shuffled past Athrun and into his bedroom, easily locating the bathroom door on the wall to the right.

_Wow, this is actually quite clean for a guy's bathroom._ Cagalli first thought upon entering the bathroom. It was the only room in the small cabin that wasn't made of wood. The floor and shower were covered in sandy colored tile. The rest of the walls and ceiling were painted white. There was nothing unusual about it, but it did indicate that its owner was a man who valued cleanliness. _Well I suppose he gets points for that._ Cagalli thought as she locked the door and began peeling off her clothes. After toweling off her naked body, Cagalli looked down at Athrun's clothing. Though his intentions were good, she was about to go commando in his pants and shirt. Intentionally or otherwise he had not offered her any underwear, and hers was soaking.

Cagalli quickly pulled on the sweatpants, reveling in the soft fuzzy feeling that now surrounded her pale legs. As she pulled Athrun's shirt on over her hear, she inhaled deeply. It smelled of fresh linen and something else pleasing. She assumed that could only be Athrun's scent as it certainly did not smell like Odin. The combination of Athrun's scent and the feeling of his clothes were causing a warm stirring in Cagalli's belly. In spite of all her conscious fears and desires to progress slowly, her body wanted Athrun. The cold rain and her mild arousal caused Cagalli's nipples to harden. Even though the shirt wasn't tight on her, it draped over her chest such that they were on prominent display. _Oh my god, of all the things I'd rather not happen now_. She thought as she crossed her legs and squirmed uncomfortably in front of the mirror. With a deep sigh she turned and walked back into Athrun's bedroom.

Athrun was lying on his bed: a queen sized mattress in a wooden frame covered with simple sheets and a patchwork quilt. He too had opted for sweat pants and a t-shirt and was looking at the ceiling, waiting patiently for Cagalli to return. Hearing the door open, he turned to face her. _Holy hell_. Athrun couldn't stop looking at her. She was wearing his clothing, a circumstance which was hot in and of itself. Not only that, but Athrun couldn't help but notice Cagalli's chest. Any other straight man would have been equally powerless. Somehow she looked hotter than she ever had in his eyes. Perhaps it was the setting, perhaps it was the clothing. In the end it didn't matter, Athrun knew he wanted this girl, and soon. Cagalli quietly cleared her throat, tearing Athrun's eyes away from her body and to her face. She was blushing again and twisting one of her feet back and forth on the floor. She was so cute Athrun almost died on the spot. Summoning a great surge of willpower, he brought himself back in check.

"Well, I don't think you look bad at all. I can start up a fire and dry our clothes quicker if you'd like. I don't normally use the fireplace during the summer, but I don't see any reason why not to." Athrun gestured to the opening in the wall about a yard past the end of his bed. If Athrun's cabin was anything, it was quaint.

"Uh, sure. That sounds nice." Cagalli nodded softly. The rain was still coming down hard outside, but from within it was a soothing noise in the background, calming her nerves. Assuming Athrun's former position on his bed, she watched him go to work. After a few minutes and a trip back out to the porch for wood, Athrun had a warm fire going. Grabbing a couple chairs, he created a makeshift drying rack and hung his and Cagalli's clothes in front of it.

Athrun had intentionally taken longer than normal to build the fire. He didn't know what he was going to do when he was done. The sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. His desire for Cagalli, body and soul, was barely in check. He wasn't sure if he could make "fireside conversation" with such a woman. How could he be expected to contain himself? _'Please don't hurt me.' _Cagalli's words came back to him and quelled the fire raging through Athrun's body. _That's right…she needs to be protected first. I can't open her up and make her more vulnerable._ Instead of sitting down next to her, Athrun stood six inches from her, looking down. It was as if he was asking for permission or some indication of what to do next. After all, this was a relatively new experience for him as well.

Cagalli looked up at Athrun, her amber eyes gleaming with excitement and fear. Between the two of them a force was growing. It was a subtle flame burning through their veins, barely visible behind their eyes. Cagalli said nothing but reached out and grabbed Athrun's hands. They were rough, but warm as they closed around hers. With that contact, the flame exploded into a firestorm. In a swift motion, Athrun broke one handhold, lifted Cagalli's legs and laid her down softly on his bed. Cagalli thought she had lost the ability to breathe. Athrun was kneeling over her, his knees straddling her legs and his hands holding her arms to the bed on either side of her head. His assertive display had literally knocked the wind out of her. Her brain was crying in alarm, her heart was beating in her throat, her adrenal glands were firing on all cylinders and the muscles of her core were clenching and writhing deliciously. _I want him…I want this man._

Athrun looked down at Cagalli's stunned face. Once the initial shock had vanished, he saw conflict and longing in her eyes. He was sure that if he looked long enough, he would fall into them and drown. Athrun felt his breathing intensify both in frequency and volume. His chest was heaving and his consciousness was fighting harder and harder to control instincts that had existed since the dawn of humanity. Cagalli's voice cut through to him. It was small and timid, full of desire and hesitance.

"Athrun…?"

"Cagalli." Without another word, he lowered his lips to hers. All his previous thoughts about taking it slow vanished. He needed this.

Cagalli felt her nerves lit up like a switchboard. She moaned involuntarily and pressed back into Athrun's firm and soft lips. She was being taken. There was no debate, no struggle. It was the inevitable conclusion and she was swimming in it.

As soon as Athrun felt Cagalli move her lips in response, he increased the force of his kisses. He felt his lips run repeatedly over hers, savoring the feel of her trembling lower lip between his. Athrun brought his hand to Cagalli's face, caressing her cheek as he continued his loving assault on her pretty little lips. Her hands free, Cagalli took the opportunity to bring her hands to Athrun's head. She ran her hands through his thick blue hair and grasped it hard as she began to lick his lips with her tongue. _Oh god…he tastes incredible._ A lone thought managed to penetrate the haze of desire that filled her brain.

The touch of Cagalli's tongue took Athrun by surprise, but he immediately responded. Their tongues locked together in an intricate duel of courtship. The two felt each other's breath, hot and heavy, on their faces. Athrun felt a stirring deep in his loins, but he ignored it. For the first time he was truly and utterly absorbed in kissing a woman. He wanted to explore every inch of Cagalli's lips and mouth. Her skin was soft, her taste was sweet and her reaction to his touch made the beast inside roar in triumph and satisfaction. It stopped being a kiss and became a full expression of love and desire as Cagalli moved her hands to his shoulders and drew Athrun close.

Athrun slowly lowered himself onto Cagalli without missing a beat. He placed a firm kiss on her mouth and moved his head to the left, kissing along her cheek to her earlobe. As soon as he wrapped his lips around it and gave it a quick nip, Cagalli gasped, sucking her breath in and digging her nails into his back. Cagalli's moans continued as Athrun continued his ministrations and moved to her neck, licking the crevice between her collarbone and neck and biting lightly on the soft flesh of her shoulder.

"Oh my gods, Athrun…" Cagalli moaned heavily. "What are you doing to me?" She had never felt anything like this when Alex kissed her. Everywhere Athrun touched it was as if a raging heat erupted on her skin, only to be replaced by a cold like ice when he moved. The sensations of Athrun on top of her and the changes in temperature, perceived or real, were driving Cagalli insane. Blood pounded in her ears as her core continued to warm. Athrun had moved to her right side and all she could do was writhe under him as he practically made love to her with his tongue and lips. Cagalli's foggy mind came slowly to the conclusion: _he is worshiping me…my body…oh fuck!_

As Athrun continued, it was as if more and more of Cagalli's nerves formed direct connections to her sex. He hadn't strayed below her collarbones, but fifteen minutes into Athrun's "assault", Cagalli felt as if she was going to explode with desire. "Athrun…oh fuck Athrun please." She cried out, not even knowing what she was asking for. All she knew was that she didn't want him to stop.

Slowly, Athrun brought one of his legs between Cagalli's. She had involuntarily spread them wide over the course of their kiss. _I have no way of knowing for sure…but I think she's ready._ He thought as he slowly brought his knee closer to Cagalli's slit. Slowly but firmly, he pressed his leg against her, moving it forcefully upwards. The effect was immediate. Cagalli's closed eyes sprung open wide as she cried out into the howl of the storm.

"ATHRUUUUUUN!"

The last thing Cagalli felt before blacking out in a wave of pleasure was Athrun wrapping is strong arms around her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Note from the author: Hello readers. I know I've been updating slowly and I apologize for that. With a new job and all, it's rather difficult for me to update quickly. So instead of promising a date for the next chapter and betraying expectations, I will just say this. I am fully committed to finishing this story. Keep reading and following and you will have closure :). I appreciate all the reviews you guys are leaving. Thanks again, and as always, read, review and recommend to your friends!**

**Chapter 13**

Cagalli slowly opened her eyes as if trying to not disturb the extraordinary sense of calm she was feeling. Facing the window, she could see that the rain had abated slightly, but the day had gotten darker. Was she out for a few minutes, a few hours? She had no idea. What she did know was that Athrun's chest was pressed lovingly against her back, his arm draped over her stomach. Cagalli sighed contentedly and revisited how she had ended up in Athrun's bed wearing his clothes. It was hard to fathom what had come over Athrun, what had turned him so animalistic; but whatever it was, Cagalli was glad it happened. It was anything but the slow and steady pace she had imagined for them. Athrun had already given her a mind blowing orgasm, much less kissed her. This was not where Cagalli had anticipated being. At the same time though, she noted that her clothes were still on and undisturbed. Both during the kiss and afterwards, Athrun had not pressed his advantage.

_What a gentleman._ Cagalli thought to herself as Athrun's rhythmic breathing pressed softly against her back. _Even though I'm here in his bed, in his clothes, pressed up against him; he didn't have sex with me. He didn't even feel me up. How the hell did he give me such an orgasm then?! _Cagalli tilted her head, managing to catch a glimpse of Athrun's face out of the corner of her eye. He had dozed off as well.

"What is it about you?" Cagalli whispered to herself. A small pop brought her attention back to the room. The fire Athrun had built before they had kissed was just about dead, meaning her clothes were dry. As much as she was enjoying her current position, Cagalli wanted to be back in her own clothes. Athrun had pretty much done all the right things, taken all precautions and considerations for her…_But we still kissed. No, we didn't kiss. We made out. We seriously made out. I made out with Athrun Zala. Holy shit._ It was not at all where Cagalli anticipated the day going, and she needed some sense of stability, of grounding. For now, that meant getting changed.

Athrun stirred as Cagalli tried to extricate herself from his hold without waking him. She sat on her knees and faced him as he came out of slumber. "Good evening stud." Cagalli whispered at him, immediately shocked at her own words. Athrun chuckled sleepily either at her stunned face, her words, or both.

"Hey there sexy." He replied softly. "How are you feeling? I was kind of concerned when you passed out, but it seems like I was worried about nothing." Athrun caught himself for a moment. He clearly wanted to say something but was unsure of whether to proceed.

"Go ahead." Cagalli said. "After what just happened, if something's on your mind we should definitely talk." Athrun smiled at her. _She's really beautiful._ He didn't let her slightly tousled hair distract him for long though.

"Are you ok with…well…everything? I never intended for it to go that far it just sorta…happened like that." Athrun left it at that, surveying Cagalli's face for any hint of comfort or discomfort. He may have seemed calm and in control before, but in reality Athrun was nervous. The last thing he wanted to do was drive Cagalli away by going too quickly. Unfortunately, hormones and desire tend to get in the way. Athrun was just hoping he had been capable of reining them in.

Cagalli looked at him for what seemed like an eternity. The sincerity in his bright green eyes was unmistakable. This wasn't just some trick. Even if it was, she wanted more. "Athrun, it wasn't what I had expected." Cagalli began. Athrun's expression darkened. "But," she continued. "What you did to me was…indescribable. No one's ever made me feel more wanted than that. And whatever you did at the end there with your teeth and your leg…" Cagalli blushed hard. "It was beyond good. So, I'd still like to take it slow if you don't mind, but you're ok Athrun." She threw her arms around him and held him tightly to her. Athrun responded in kind, his inner beast roaring with satisfaction before settling in for a nap. His time was over for now.

"I'm glad I made you happy." Athrun whispered in her ear. "Your clothes should be dry by now. Would you like to change? I know my sweats are comfortable, but maybe not your cup of tea."

Cagalli simply nodded into his shoulder. "Let's stay like this just a little longer though."

"Ok."

Cagalli stared at the dying embers of the fire. She was now comfortably back in her own, warm clothes. The rain was still coming down outside. While Athrun could have driven her home, it was the kind of weather that made you want to stay inside, regardless of how dry you would be if you went out into it. Cagalli rested her chin in her hands, contemplating the events of the last few hours. Athrun had certainly given her a lot to think about. More than anything, Cagalli felt adrift. Athrun hadn't just broken down the barriers she had tried to set up; he had stormed through them as if they were nothing. And yet, instead of a sense of abject terror or discomfort, Cagalli just felt helpless. He was totally in control. _And that should scare me, I know. But right now, for whatever reason, I still trust him. I want to know more about him though._ Athrun's voice behind her broke through her thoughts.

"Hey, I could take you back home now, but I'd like to make you dinner if it's ok. It's gotten pretty late and I'm guessing you're hungry as I am."

Cagalli turned to smile at him. "Sure Athrun, that sounds great. What did you have in mind?" _Well, that worked out nicely. _

"Well," Athrun responded thoughtfully. "I think I have a salmon steak in the fridge. I could whip that up with some vegetables and rice. Sound good?"

_Oh…wow! So he can cook!_ There was no reason to suspect otherwise, but Cagalli had had visions of ramen or microwave pizza. _Maybe I need to get out of the college mindset._

"Uh…Cagalli?"

"Sorry! Yeah sure, that sounds great actually Athrun."

"You sure everything's ok?" Athrun looked at her concernedly. "You've been lost in thought for a while."

_He certainly doesn't dance around the issue, does he?_ "I admit you've given me a lot to think about Athrun. I just need some time to process all of this. But please don't be worried, it's nothing bad alright? I just never thought I'd be here…with you…so soon."

"I understand. I'll go start dinner alright? Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do. Thanks Athrun."

With that, Athrun turned and headed back to the kitchen, leaving Cagalli to her meditations. He was still a bit concerned since Cagalli seemed like the kind of girl who would insist things were alright even though they weren't. _To be honest though, _Athrun mused as he grabbed the fish, broccoli and green beans from the refrigerator. _This is the logical result. You took things far. Really far. And now she's got a lot to think about. I want to be mad at myself, but that was just so…intense. The act of giving has never been more fulfilling than just now. _Athrun poured some oil into a pan and lit the burner on the stove. _I just can't fucking control myself around her. Well, I suppose given what I wanted to do that was supreme control. But when it comes to sex it really shouldn't be about me. Not in this instance anyways. So just keep it under control._ The inner beast huffed at him dismissively.

After putting the vegetables in the oven and placing a splash screen over the frying fish, Athrun had a few moments to think uninterrupted. He walked over to the window and stared out at the lake and steel gray sky. The surface of the water was alive with ripples as raindrops pelted it. It was mesmerizing and it brought Athrun back to how his day had begun. _I still have no idea what Elizabeth meant, nor do I have any idea why I'm putting so much stock into a dream…but I can't seem to let this one go._ _Have faith in myself?_

The sound a smell of crisping fish demanded Athrun's attention, and he was forced to once again put Elizabeth's 'final words' on hold. Cagalli had made her way into the kitchen, also summoned by the pleasing smell.

"Can I help with anything?" She asked tentatively, looking up at Athrun's still slightly troubled face.

"Uh yeah, actually. Would you mind setting the table? Plates and cups are up in that cabinet over there. Silverware is in the drawer by the sink. Thanks Cagalli."

"Not a problem! It's the least I can do given you're making it." Cagalli smiled sweetly at him and turned to find the plates.

_Too cute._ Athrun thought to himself as he smiled and returned to the stove. Within a few minutes, dinner was prepared and on the table, a smooth but unfinished wooden surface that dominated the rest of the kitchen area. Athrun was starving since neither of them had actually gotten to eat the provisions they had taken for lunch, but he waited for Cagalli to start.

"Go ahead! Or is there something wrong with the fish? Do you want mine? It looks ok."

Cagalli laughed nervously. "Oh no, it's nothing like that. I just didn't expect my day to end up here, like this."

"Are you upset it did?"

"Far from it. Today's been great so far and this food looks great." With that, Cagalli dug in with gusto, with Athrun following suit shortly after. They ate in silence for a few minutes; partially because they were both so hungry and partially because they were both processing the day in their minds.

Cagalli had hoped that she might one day be invited to have dinner with Athrun at his house. It would have been another step in the steady progression towards love and comfort. Instead, fate had broken the rules and in a veritable whirlwind, left her at Athrun's kitchen table on their second date…post orgasm. _Talk about a wild day._ Cagalli mused as she placed another bite of salmon in her mouth. Across the table, it was clear that Athrun was also deep in thought. _Actually, now that I think about it, he's been like that for most of the day._ _Even when I first ran into him he was feeling a bit broody._

"Hey Athrun, are you ever going to tell me what's on your mind?" Cagalli stared at him firmly but softly. She tried to make it clear with her eyes that no was not an acceptable answer.

"It's not anything you need to be concerned about." Athrun muttered, looking down at his plate. He knew Cagalli's amber eyes were boring right through him.

"How can you say that?" Cagalli raised her voice slightly. Odin's ears perked up as he was roused from his nap. "Whatever it was you were worried about earlier, you're still worried about it! Even after everything that's happened today your mind is still somewhere else! How do I know it's not about me? How do I know it's not about us and what we just did? You're used to something else right? Is it because I don't want to…do it yet?" Cagalli's expression was full of an inner fear that had been welling up inside her since waking up in his bed. As good as Athrun had been to her, Mwu had made it clear that Athrun's interactions with women before now had involved a lot more fucking and a lot less relationship. Even though he had treated her well, Cagalli was still terrified of driving him away with her old relationship baggage.

Athrun sighed deeply, scratching Odin's head softly as the wolf sat beside him on the floor. "You really aren't going to let this go are you?"

"No. Athrun please open up a little. Let me in. I feel like you know so much about me and I know almost nothing about you!" Cagalli decided to leave out the fact that what she did know she had learned from Athrun's adoptive parents. Right now that wasn't anything she wanted to bring into the mix. The aura around the dinner table was heavy enough.

Athrun paused for a moment. _I suppose that has a grain of truth to it. _He thought. _I know about her and Alex, but she doesn't know a thing about Elizabeth and me. She deserves that much, but there's no way I'm telling her about those dreams. Not yet at any rate. She would probably think I'm insane. Well, in any case, it's clear she wants 'in' and I guess I haven't done that a lot. Alright then, you win this round Cagalli._

Taking Cagalli completely by surprise, a smile crossed Athrun's face. "You know," he chuckled. "You can be very persuasive at times."

Cagalli pouted but couldn't be mad at him. Even though she wasn't feeling very happy at the moment, Athrun had just agreed to her request.

"Well, for starters, I can tell you for sure that it's not about you. I've already told you I want this, Cagalli. That certainly hasn't changed over the last few days. As for what we just did, I admit that I'm probably going to have to masturbate tonight. But I've never felt so fulfilled giving a woman an orgasm. So don't worry about that either ok?"

"Oh! Uh, well…ok. That's good?" Cagalli's face turned crimson. _How the hell can he be so…unaffected by what he just said?! Oh my God this is so embarrassing! But at least it's not me._

"I guess that is good." Cagalli regained her composure somewhat and continued. "But if it's not me, it's got to be something rather important to keep you occupied all day."

Athrun sighed deeply. _How do you tell your girlfriend about your ex without pissing her off? I don't think such a thing exists. I suppose she did ask. Well, here goes nothing._

"You're right. It is…or well…it was important to me." Athrun began explaining about Elizabeth with as little emotion in his voice as he could muster. "I had a dream last night, about my ex-girlfriend." Cagalli's face darkened immediately. Athrun quickly continued so as to avoid any outbursts of either sorrow or anger.

"But it's not like you'd think. The details of the dream aren't important, but I hurt this girl. And sometimes my mind sees fit to remind me of that. Last night was one of those times."

"What happened?" Cagalli asked, now more curious than anything. Perhaps Athrun would be willing to divulge what Mwu had not.

"She and I were teenagers, this was five years ago. She was my first and I was hers. It was a pretty great summer to be honest." Athrun remembered as he stared past Cagalli and out the window. "But we were naïve I suppose. Or maybe it was just me who was naïve. Like I said, it was great but somehow we got to thinking that it could last forever. Well, as you might imagine, the end of August took us both by surprise." Now it was Athrun's turn to look depressed. He was reliving that moment again.

"So did she break up with you?" Cagalli asked more urgently. For some reason she needed to hear the whole story. This was a side of Athrun she had never seen. A side that wasn't always confident and aloof. The current emotion was regret and sadness, but Cagalli was still happy to get a glimpse of Athrun's emotional side. If all went well, she figured she might even be able to learn why he showed it so seldom.

"No. The opposite actually." Athrun continued in a low voice. "She asked me to come with her. She wanted me to leave Archangel. If not that, she wanted to continue our relationship long distance. I told her no. I broke her heart Cagalli." Athrun admitted with a pained look on his face. "I haven't heard from her since then as you might imagine."

"So, you didn't even want to keep up with her?"

"No Cagalli, it's not like that. But I was just a teenager back then. If I left Archangel either then or at some point down the road to be with her, what could I do? There's nothing for me out there in the rest of the world. Not to mention I'm needed here. If I had agreed to keep in touch, it would only have hurt her more when she asked again and I said no."

"Athrun, don't you think that's fatalistic?"

"Maybe. But what's done is done. The long and short of it is that I hurt someone who didn't deserve to be hurt."

"What was her name?" Cagalli wanted to know more. At this point she felt anything but threatened by the specter of an old flame.

"Elizabeth."

"And so since she left you haven't really been serious with anyone?"

"Not until you."

Cagalli blushed again. Athrun hadn't skipped a beat. _He really is serious? He's never been emotional with anyone for five years?! But now he's willing to do that with me?_

"But aren't you afraid of something like that happening again?" If anything, Cagalli herself was terrified of such an ending. They had just begun! To think of the ending so soon was more than a little frightening. After the emotional trauma of Alex, Cagalli was clinging to the feelings Athrun gave her as if they were life itself.

"I am afraid, I must admit. That's what I've been all 'broody' about as you called it. But I'm willing to take the chance that things might be different this time. It's worth it." Athrun went back to eating his food. It was clear that he didn't particularly want to discuss the subject further.

"I'm sorry Athrun. I didn't mean to push things. I wouldn't know, but that whole thing with Elizabeth couldn't have been easy."

"It's alright. You told me about Alex. If anything you had a right to know about Elizabeth. I'm sure by now it's obvious that I've been with more women since then, but I've never loved any of them. None of them were worth risking getting hurt or inflicting that sort of pain again. You really should eat though. It will be cold soon."

"Yeah, ok. Sorry." Cagalli returned to her plate. She had never been so disinterested in eating. Athrun had given her a lot to think about. On the one hand, hearing about Elizabeth was terrifying. Cagalli knew the summer had to end eventually. From the sound of it, Athrun was still intent on staying in Archangel. And yet, he had said there was a chance something might be different. Her heart was in turmoil. _Oh come on._ Her brain brought her back. _This is only your second date if you could even call it that. One step at a time please!_ Cagalli smiled. There was still a lot of summer left.

"Hey Odin, come here boy!" She called, lowering her plate to the floor. "Can you help me finish here?" The wolf was all too happy to oblige. He was hungry too. As Odin made a mess of the floor and then proceeded to lick it up, Athrun and Cagalli couldn't help but laugh. The mood was instantly lighter and both of them realized they were very much happier together than they were apart. Even if that had to come to an end at some point, it was worth it for now.

"So, I'm guessing your friends are probably worried sick about you by now. We should probably get you home." Athrun said as they finished cleaning up after dinner.

"Yeah, not bringing my phone was probably not the smartest idea. But then again if I had it would be soaked through right now."

"Do you want me to call one of them?"

"I would say yes if I could remember any of their numbers. Usually I just hit 'call Lacus'." Cagalli smiled at Athrun who laughed and put his arm around her.

"What has technology done to us? Oh well, can't be helped. I guess let's wash up then and I'll drive you home."

"I'd appreciate it. Thanks Athrun."

"Anytime babe."

Cagalli blushed again as she gathered her things. In a few minutes they were driving through the damp darkness towards Cagalli's cabin. The drive was spent mostly in comfortable silence. There wasn't much that needed to be said after the day's events. Athrun held Cagalli's hand in his on the center console, steering with his left. The contact and warmth was comforting and reminded her of the heated moments they had shared in his bed. Athrun smiled as she sighed contentedly, his grin visible in the faint green light coming from the dashboard.

Upon arrival, Athrun killed the engine. "Well, I guess this is where I let you go, much as I hate to do so."

"I know Athrun, I feel the same way. Here, give me your phone for a second?" Athrun handed Cagalli his phone and she began entering her number. "I know the idea of just running into each other in the middle of a rainstorm is more romantic, but I think it would be best if we could contact each other."

"Haha, agreed." Athrun laughed as a light appeared on the doorstep. Lacus and Miriallia had rushed outside as soon as they had heard Athrun pull into the driveway, eager to see if Cagalli was alright. It was only then that Cagalli remembered that Lacus had planned to talk with Miriallia about her sexuality and love for her, but the look on both of their faces was a mixture of worry and relief. It was impossible to tell if anything else had gone on that day. _Maybe Lacus was too nervous to go through with it. Or maybe the rain disrupted their plans too._

"Well," Athrun spoke, interrupting Cagalli's thoughts. "I'm sure they're pretty angry with me. You'll have a lot of explaining to do." He grinned wide at her. He sure didn't look sorry for anything. "Maybe we should save that goodnight kiss for another time?"

"Not on your life Zala." Cagalli smirked as she threw her hands around the back of his neck and pulled herself to him. Their lips met calmly but passionately. For what seemed like an eternity she savored the feeling of her lips moving gently over his. Athrun wasn't overpowering this time. He met her actions with equal movements, clearly enjoying the sensation as well. They slowly broke apart and stared into each other's eyes, faces centimeters away. Lacus and Miriallia could do nothing but gape and stare.

"You never cease to surprise me Ms. Autha." Athrun whispered to Cagalli. "But I believe you now have quite a bit more explaining to do." He smiled at her, his eyes full of tempered desire. The beast was stirring again.

"You're probably right, but it was totally worth it. Thanks again for everything Athrun. Today was amazing. I'll see you later alright. Drive safe." Cagalli said her goodbye.

"You got it Cagalli. Now go face your interrogation!"

"You jerk, whose side are you on!" Cagalli replied playfully as she cuffed Athrun lightly on the shoulder and hopped out of the truck. "See you later Athrun."

"Bye baby." Athrun bid her farewell as he restarted the engine and pulled slowly out of the driveway and drove off into the black of night. Cagalli stood and watched until the tail lights faded from view. Turning to face her friends, she grinned sheepishly.

"Uh…hi guys. How's it going?" Miriallia cocked an eyebrow, but Lacus was grinning from ear to ear.

"Cagalli, I hope you weren't planning on going to sleep just yet. You have some details to spill!" Lacus yelled cheerfully at her. Cagalli was sure Mirialli wanted to admonish her for not taking her phone and not contacting them all day, but it was clear she was curious too and held her tongue. The three headed inside.

"So what was that?!" Lacus asked as soon as they had sat down.

"It was a kiss Lacus. I thought you'd be familiar with the concept by now." Cagalli shot back playfully.

"Oh come on Cagalli! Don't be such a hold out. You were gone the whole day and somehow you ended up coming back in Athrun's truck. I want to know everything!"

"You sure?" Cagalli cocked her eyebrow.

"Now I want to know everything." Mir interjected. "Get talking Cagalli!"

"Yeah, do we have any beer left?"

After about half a beer, Cagalli arrived at what she knew would be the major talking point: when Athrun had 'taken' her. Lacus and Mir were hanging on every word.

"So he didn't, you know, touch you anywhere?"

"No, surprisingly enough he didn't. He just kept kissing and biting my neck and it was driving me insane. Then he brought his knee up and it felt like I exploded and melted at the same time. Gods it was good."

"Wait, with his knee?!" Lacus looked stunned. "Athrun got you to cum with his knee?! God, just imagine what's going to happen when he actually fucks you."

"LACUS!" Miriallia yelled.

"Sorry, just the beer talking!"

"Oy vey. Can I continue please?" Cagalli tried to act peeved with Lacus but couldn't. The girl was just a ball of happy, sexual energy.

"Yes, yes, sorry. Continue."

At Miriallia's behest, Cagalli told them about the rest of her night, leaving out the bit about Elizabeth. She was ok with it, but doubted Lacus or Miriallia would take kindly to the idea of Athrun talking about his ex, even if it had been at Cagalli's urging.

"But so what did you two do all day while I was gone? Your turn." _I really need to figure out if Lacus went forward with it!_

"Well, as much as I'd like to say something crazy happened, our day was relatively normal." Mir said. Cagalli looked at Lacus, but she seemed to be in agreement. _So nothing happened then. I should talk to Lacus later._

"Well that's not totally correct." Lacus interjected. "We went downtown since it wasn't great beach weather just to check it out. Being the silly people we are, we didn't bring umbrellas and we got caught under and awning and had to wait for it to pass."

"That doesn't sound very exciting, no offense." Cagalli said.

"Well that's cause that wasn't the exciting part. The exciting part was that this very attractive blond guy got trapped there with us. Turns out he's some sort of hot shot around here. I didn't like that part of his attitude that much, but he was very hot and very rich from what I could tell. I guess that makes the attitude slightly inevitable. He was nice to us though. We talked for a while and he invited us to his house for a party! He said pretty much all of Archangel is going to be there. It's on Saturday! I'm so excited!" Lacus was no doubt happy to be able to have one last giant party before officially starting life in the real world. Cagalli was a bit suspicious though. This guy sounded odd. _Who just invites people you've never met to a party? The guy clearly wants to get laid. I guess I don't need to worry about that though. We're all spoken for, expect maybe Mir._ Miriallia herself seemed ambivalent about the idea of the party.

"So what was this guy's name then?" Cagalli asked. _Maybe Athrun will know more about him._

"It was Rau Le Creuset."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Hey Athrun," Cagalli looked to her side to address her boyfriend. They were laying in the shade at the beach, near the spot where they had first met. Lacus and Miriallia were tanning in anticipation of the party so the two had some alone time; which meant that Lacus kept trying to look over at them anyway.

"Yeah, what's up Cagalli?" Athrun replied.

"So, I was wondering if you could tell me anything about a guy named Rau Le Creuset. He invited us to some big party he's throwing in a couple of days. Sounded like someone pretty wealthy. I figured you'd know him." Cagalli didn't even have to wait for a reply. Athrun's facial response was immediate, and it was unpleasant.

"Rau and I…have a bit of a history, and it's not a particularly civil one." Athrun replied bitterly. "Needless to say, I will not be going to his annual Fourth of July party. Nor am I ever invited, so that's not an issue."

Cagalli shifted to her side to fully face Athrun. This was not the response she had expected to hear. "So what happened between the two of you?" She asked; the curiosity in her voice unhidden.

"I'd rather not get into it Cagalli. I'm sorry." Athrun smiled as Cagalli pouted at him. _I don't like keeping stuff like this a secret from her, but there's no reason to bring her up again around Cagalli, especially not if Cagalli's going to go to his party. She should be ok._ "I'll just say this." Athrun continued. "My opinion of him is completely personal. He and I dislike one another but up until now I don't think he's proven to be a bad person. So if you're nervous about going to his party, I wouldn't worry too much. If anything, you should go and have a great time. The guy is wealthy after all, so it's usually quite the event I've heard." Athrun paused, considering his words. "Well, I should say his family is wealthy, not him. I think I've seen his parents a grand total of three times over the many years that they've owned a house here. Even though I take care of their boat for some extra pocket money, I rarely see them. It's like they just let Rau use the house and go on vacation from their vacation. It's rather odd. Maybe they're just always working?"

"I think I can understand how he feels." Cagalli said softly. Athrun raised his eyebrows. Having your girlfriend empathize with a rival is always a bit disconcerting. "I just mean I know what it feels like to be left alone sometimes." Cagalli explained as her face darkened. Athrun reached out and brushed a lock of hair from her eyes, thinking Cagalli was talking about her mother.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright Athrun. There's nothing that can be done about it now really. But thank you." Cagalli touched his hand with hers, holding the source of warmth to her face. _I really don't want to bring up father right now. Even though Athrun knows my full name, he doesn't seem to realize whose daughter I am, which is probably for the best in any case. But I feel sorry for Rau. To have your parents give you everything…except their love. It's a jading experience._ If anything, after speaking with Athrun Cagalli felt better about going to Rau's party, not worse. There was still the issue of Lacus and Miriallia though, which she would have to discuss with Lacus that night.

"Anyways, thank you for filling me in on him. I'm not a huge fan of going to the houses of people I've never met." Cagalli brought the conversation to a close.

"My pleasure sweetie. Make sure to drink some of his good alcohol for me!" Athrun gave her a wink as she blushed at the pet name and giggled.

"As you wish Athrun."

The two drew their heads together and shared a brief kiss on the beach, content to spend the remainder of the hot afternoon in each other's presence.

"So…that's how it is then? How interesting Athrun Zala. It would seem your heart of ice has finally thawed. Perfect." Rau Le Creuset spoke only for his own gratification as he stood from the bench he had been occupying for most of the day. Athrun was a creature of habit, and Rau knew that if he waited long enough and observed that spot on the beach, he would figure out who Athrun had set his sights on this summer. It was all part of their little game. By the beginning of July, Athrun had usually moved on to a different woman but this summer was different. _So, he's still with the wolf girl then?_ Rau thought to himself. He had been at the beach during Cagalli's run in with Odin, and had summarily guessed that if she and Athrun weren't an item, they would be soon after. _So I was correct and then some. How felicitous. After all these years I shall finally have my revenge. I must say…I'm actually looking forward to this party for once. I hope that spunky blonde will grace me with her presence._ Rau chuckled to himself as he began walking away from the beach. For now, his work was done.

Back at the cabin that night, events proceeded as usual. Dinner was followed by TV or a movie, reading, chatting and then bed. Cagalli sat nervously in her chair, observing her two friends. For now, the drama of Lacus' desire seemed to be hidden deep in the undercurrent. If anything, things were too normal in the house that night. Cagalli wanted desperately to ask Lacus about her progress with Mir, but had found no time to do so. At this point, all she could do was hope that Mir would tire early and retire, leaving the two of them to speak. By half past midnight, Cagalli was practically squirming in her seat. Usually cool in social situations, this was one episode of drama she could not, and did not want to, avoid. _Come on Mir. Just go to bed already will you!_ Cagalli closed her eyes hard and wished.

"I'm getting a little tired. Are you going to come up soon?" Miriallia looked up from her book and spoke at Lacus. Cagalli's eyes shot open. _Holy shit! It worked?!_

Lacus looked at her for a moment. Cagalli tried to catch her eye, but failed. "I'll be up in a minute Miri. Go ahead."

"Ok." Miriallia responded with a yawn. "Goodnight Cagalli."

"Night Mir. See ya tomorrow."

"Yep." With that, Miriallia began walking up the stairs. Cagalli turned back to Lacus and finally was able to give her a piercing look that could only mean _'Stay here. We need to talk.'_ Lacus nodded as Cagalli came over to sit on the couch with her. They waited in tense silence until Miriallia closed the bathroom door and they heard the water running. Cagalli looked Lacus dead in the eye.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Oh come on Lacus, don't play dumb with me." Cagalli whispered harsher than necessary. "What's the deal with you and Mir?"

"I already told you, we didn't get a chance to discuss anything. Today was no different. It just didn't feel right. There was nothing spontaneous about anything. Everything we do now is so calculated and forced. There's all this tension just waiting to explode but no one's doing anything about it."

"Including you."

"What do you want me to do Cagalli?!" Lacus was beginning to sound distraught. "Do you have any idea how hard this is?"

Cagalli's gaze softened and she placed an arm around her friend's shoulder. "No, I admit I don't." She said. "But I just want to help you if I can. What if you use the party somehow? That's when you guys usually made out and stuff, right?"

"I suppose so," Lacus replied with reservation. "But that's really not the tone I want to set for this. I don't want what we've had. I want something more than that, more than just her body. Am I being too greedy here Cagalli? Is something like that too much to ask?"

"I'd say you were greedy if it were the other way around." Cagalli smiled in reply. "But even so, since it's familiar territory for the both of you, perhaps that's still the best way to get the conversation going at least?" Lacus took some time to consider Cagalli's thought. Miriallia had just left the bathroom and had closed the door to her bedroom. Lacus knew she didn't have much time.

"You might be right Cagalli. I should probably head up though before she gets suspicious. Hopefully we can talk more tomorrow. Thanks for the advice."

"You got it Lacus." Cagalli remained in her chair, lost in thought as Lacus made her way upstairs. The reality that it was now her giving relationship advice instead of receiving it continued to amaze her. Even more astounding was the fact that her relationship with Athrun had yet to encounter any serious pitfalls. She was nervous again that Athrun wanted more than she was willing to give, especially after what had happened at his house. Given his past it might as well have been fact that Athrun was holding back. Yet for whatever reason, he seemed content to go at her pace. Cagalli wasn't sure what he saw in her that made him so patient, but she was happy about it. Her thoughts slowly strayed back to Lacus and Miriallia. _Why does the world have to be that way? Lacus and Miriallia love each other. I'm willing to bet on it; have been for a while. And yet it's 'unacceptable' for some fucked up reason. Apparently love isn't enough. One of them has to have a dick in order for it to be 'normal'. Poor Lacus, she doesn't deserve this. By that token, neither does Miriallia. It's unfortunate she has to play the 'villain' here for the moment. Hard to fight that kind of upbringing. Hopefully that changes soon. I wish there was something more I could do._

Unable to come to a conclusion on how to best further Lacus' cause, Cagalli went to bed, hoping a good night's rest would provide mental clarity.

Cagalli's rest was mostly undisturbed. Her nightmares had faded both in realism and frequency since her relationship with Athrun had become steady. As the light filtered into her room and across her face the next morning, she woke with a satisfying stretch and an increased sense of purpose. Previously, it had been Lacus and Miriallia who had given her relationship advice. Obviously that was not an option in this case. Out of respect for Lacus' wishes, Cagalli had also decided that until things progressed, Athrun shouldn't know more. Even with all those options eliminated though, Cagalli knew of one more source of solid advice she had found in Archangel.

A quick bowl of cereal and a walk into town later, Cagalli found herself in front of La Flaga General Goods. _Well, here goes nothing. Hopefully Murrue has some time on a Thursday morning._ She walked slowly through the automatic doors and looked around. A few patrons chatted to themselves, stocking up for another bright and sunny day at the beach. Otherwise, the store was dead. Mwu was at the register and greeted Cagalli kindly.

"Good morning Cagalli! How are you doing? If you're looking for Athrun I don't think he will be in until tomorrow. He usually stops by when that Le Creuset kid throws his party. Anyway, what can I get for you?"

Cagalli smiled and replied hesitantly. "I'm actually alright Mwu. Athrun has already filled me in on the whole Rau thing. I was actually hoping to speak with Murrue if you don't mind. Is she here?"

If Mwu was surprised at Cagalli's request, he only showed it for a brief second. It was the first time he'd ever been asked that by a customer. "Sure thing. I think she's in the back room." He gestured to a small door at the end of the line of registers. "Believe it or not, she handles the accounting around here. I doubt she will mind the company though. Don't mind the employees only sign. Go ahead." With a smile, he pointed her in the right direction and turned back to help a customer. Cagalli walked over to the door and knocked. Murrue's voice rang out from inside.

"It's open sweetie! C'mon in!" Cagalli opened the door wide enough to poke her head inside.

"Uh…Murrue?" Her brown hair shifted slightly as Murrue looked up from the laptop on a small wooden desk. "Oh, Cagalli! Sorry, I thought you were Mwu for a second there. Is everything ok? Mwu is out there right?"

"Oh yeah, don't worry. There's nothing wrong with the store. I actually…" Cagalli paused for a second; unsure of how to ask someone who was more or less a stranger about lesbian love. Murrue stood up and walked over to her, pulling the young blonde inside and closing the door.

"Take a seat hun. Is this about Athrun?"

"No." Cagalli forced a smile. "Mwu already asked that. It's…well, it's about a friend of mine."

"Ok, let me stop you there for a moment. Cagalli, is this the sort of thing where you want me to believe it's a friend but it's actually you? I haven't had kids myself but there's no way you're pulling that one on me." Murrue smiled down at Cagalli. In that moment, despite lack of motherhood, that was the aura emanating from Murrue. It made Cagalli feel safe and gave her the courage to speak, understanding implicitly that her words would be taken in confidence and secrecy.

"No, it is actually about a friend…my best friend. She's…she's a lesbian. And she's in love." Cagalli paused there. Murrue sat down. The girl talk had been taken, quite quickly, to the next level.

"Go ahead Cagalli."

"She's in love with my other friend."

"Oh, you mean the pink haired girl and the brunette you've been in here with? They're very cute together!"

"That's just the thing. They aren't together, though I suppose it could seem that way at some times. Lacus, the pink haired one, is in love with Miriallia, the brunette. Problem is Miriallia won't accept it. She believes homosexuality is wrong. Or at least her family does. I'm not sure how much of that she truly believes herself and how much is conditioning from her childhood. Things have gotten…tense, since we arrived here. Lacus had her feelings crystallize and wanted to act on them. I'm not sure if it was intentional or just an issue of circumstance, but she did, somehow. I don't know the details. Miriallia, as you might expect, resisted. Whatever happened that day at the beach has changed their relationship. They had been the best of friends and even made out a few times, but now it's tense and cold. No one's willing to address the issue and I don't know what to do. Lacus really wants this and I sense that Miriallia, behind all the prejudice, wants it too. But I have no idea what I can do." Cagalli wanted to finish with '_can you help me?_' but it seemed pretty apparent that Murrue got the message. For a long time she sat and stared at the wall just above Cagalli's head with her brow furrowed. Cagalli shifted nervously in her seat. _Oh my God, I just revealed Lacus' secret…to someone I've met only a handful of times?! I hope this wasn't a big mistake…_

"Well Cagalli," Murrue spoke after what seemed like an eon of silence. "I'm not sure if you can do anything to further your goal." Cagalli's face visibly dropped at the response as Murrue continued. "I'm not saying that there's nothing you can do. In fact, there's a lot you can do Cagalli. You can be there for your friends, both of them. You cannot rush matters of the heart. Believe me, Mwu tried." Murrue paused, sighing fondly. "That said," she continued. "He made a very persuasive case nonetheless." Cagalli forced a smile, now imagining Mwu and Murrue as young paramours.

"Your friend Miriallia either will come around, or she won't. There is nothing you can do to rush her. If you try, you may drive her further into her shell and hurt Lacus in the process. Lacus may end up hurt anyway, and if she is, I'm sure you'll be there for her. But just watch, observe, be supportive and offer advice only if it's asked for. That's my best advice sweetie. Feel free to take some, all, or none of it. You seem like the kind of girl who likes to charge headlong into things and just work until it's solved, but this situation needs time. I know it's tough, but be patient."

"You're right." Cagalli grinned genuinely now. "That's definitely not how I operate, but I think you're right. Thanks Murrue. If things work out I'll let you know."

"I'd appreciate that. You're always welcome. Say hi to Athrun for me ok? I need to get back to it here."

"Of course. Thanks again." Cagalli stood and left Murrue to her work, passing Mwu on the way out.

"How did it go in there? Everything alright?" He asked as Cagalli headed for the door.

"Just needed some advice from a fellow woman. It was very helpful. Gotta go for now Mwu, take it easy." Cagalli didn't want to disrespect the man who had been so nice to her, but she wasn't in the mood to share either.

"You too Cagalli." Mwu scratched his head as Cagalli disappeared down over the hill towards the lake. "Well I must admit that was odd, but I suppose all will be revealed in time." He spoke to himself as he turned to another customer.

Cagalli's walk home was frustrating to say the least. She had been polite to Murrue, but she was actually disappointed with the advice she had received. In her mind there had to be some way to bring the conflict that was slowly absorbing their lives to a resolution. But half an hour later, walking up the front stairs to the cabin, she was still just as clueless as when she had left that morning. _Ugh, maybe Murrue is right. Maybe the best move is just to let this one play itself out. _Cagalli fumed as she wiped the sweat from her brow and stepped inside.

That night went much the same as the previous, which is to say that nothing of great importance occurred. A week or two ago, Cagalli would have been happy for that. But now she wanted resolution. She had to have it. The heavy air was unbearable and more than anything, she just wanted her friends to be happy, but looking between Lacus and Miriallia, Cagalli knew that Murrue had been right. It was a divide that only the two of them could bridge. As she crawled into bed that night, all she could hope for was swift resolution, something she thought Rau's party might deliver.

The next day was governed by a sense of excitement that completely overpowered everything else. For all of the drama and trials of the summer, the girls were still in their early twenties, and the idea of partying in a mansion on the Fourth of July for free was just very compelling. After a brief stint at the beach in the morning, the girls returned to the cabin for lunch and party prep. Rau had suggested arriving at 6 PM to enjoy the party to its fullest, making every moment of the afternoon vital. Cagalli and her friends were all smiles as they showered, did their nails, hair and went through far too many combinations of dresses and shoes. They could finally focus on something other than the beach and their feelings, and it was a wonderful vacation from the vacation. By five, they had retired to their respective bedrooms to finalize their outfits for that night. Cagalli was torn between a floor length, strapless teal dress and her favorite little black dress. She felt slightly guilty allowing everyone but Athrun to see her in the tight black fabric, but then she remembered her black bikini. _Well, he'll get his own little black outfit just for him._ She thought with a smirk as she pulled on the black dress and selected some simple diamond studs her father had given her for her 21st birthday. It was simple, sexy and elegant.

Across the hallway, Lacus was feeling brave and horny. They had all consumed a beverage or two in their excitement. Lacus wasn't a lightweight, but it only took a small amount of alcohol to break the already crumbling walls around her desire. Miriallia was sitting in black lace underwear fiddling with her hair in front of the mirror. Her hourglass profile was staring Lacus in the face and it was almost more than she could take. _Tonight is the night._ She thought. _Tonight, for better or worse, Miriallia will know. I love you Miri…just please feel the same way. I have to do this._

Throwing caution to the wind Lacus sauntered up behind Mir, wearing pink underwear. This bra was her favorite: light pink with sequined angel wings on each side. Placing her hands on Miriallia's shoulders, Lacus made eye contact in the mirror. Miriallia smiled. It was hard to tell if it was forced or not.

"So, it's been a while since we got all dressed up like this eh?" Lacus asked rhetorically, and ironically given their current state of undress. "Are you excited? Should be quite the scene from what I hear."

"Yeah, sounds like it." Miriallia replied. "I still don't know. Should I keep it wavy like this or just straighten it out?"

"Personally, I like your hair like this. It's wild, it's exciting. It makes you look like a fox. The boys should be eating you up." _Or me._

"Well, with a recommendation like that, I think I'll keep it wavy then." Miriallia winked into the mirror. The alcohol had certainly taken the edge off. No longer was she over-reacting to every move Lacus made. For now, she was still comfortable. This was normal. This was the past.

Lacus turned from Mir and sauntered over to her bed, accentuating the sway of her hips for the mirror's, and therefore Miriallia's benefit. She slowly slipped into her dress, a dark blue affair that perfectly matched her eyes and left little of her cleavage to the imagination. Lacus knew she would get eyes from many that night, but there was only one person in her gaze.

"You know what else might get the boys going?" Lacus walked over to Mir and whispered in her ear. "Maybe if we pulled out a few moves from college…you know?" She breathed hotly over Mir's ear and was about to nip it lightly when Miriallia recoiled swiftly and stood up. This was no longer the past.

"Lacus. This has to stop, now." Miriallia took a deep breath, steadying herself for what she was about to do there, in her underwear, to her best friend. "Look Lacus, I'm not sure what you're playing at right now, or what you've been playing at since we got to Archangel, but it's time to stop." Lacus began backing away, as if creating distance would provide a buffer against what looked like the sledgehammer poised to crush her heart.

"Maybe in college what we did was ok. God knows we did enough of it. But now, even though we're on vacation, this is the real world. We're real people. We can't be doing this anymore. Eventually we're going to find guys we like, we're going to get married and we're going to start families. Maybe not now, but every moment we aren't thinking about that, we're postponing that part of our lives. I'm tired of it. I want something more…"

"And what is it what you want?" Lacus spat back. "This isn't real to you?"

"I want love Lacus!" She cried. "I'm tired of hookups with random guys…no, I'm tired of hookups in general. I need more."

"So that's it then? That's what I am to you? A hookup?" Lacus tried to maintain her composure as she elevated her voice.

"Lacus don't be silly. You're my best friend and you know that. It's not like that's ever been in question. I just want a man." Lacus almost lost it. She strode up to Miriallia, well within her personal bubble.

"You want a man Mir? Is that it? Because I know how you sound with men, and I know how you sound with me. So if you're just in the mood for cock, then find any man you like because from the sound of it, that's some sort of prerequisite for love. But I know better, not to mention you just said it yourself. You want real love, right Miriallia? Don't you?!" Tears were forming at the corner of her deep blue eyes now.

"YES! I want love Lacus." Miriallia sighed deeply. "I want what I've never had."

With those words, something broke inside Lacus. All her will to fight, all of the words she had thought would help her…nothing seemed real anymore. Miriallia had never felt it, had never seen it. It was all in Lacus' mind. She had been no better than those guys she had so recently put down. Her love wasn't real. _It's over…it's…over._

Lacus grabbed her shoes and ran to the door. She couldn't let Miriallia see her now. But Lacus was not about to let her love die without a parting shot. It was not her way. She would have her say.

"I love you Miriallia Hawe. And I have for years now." Lacus said softly, fighting back tears. Miriallia's back was turned and she stared at the ground. "Not just as a friend or even a best friend. I love you as a person. I love you as a lover. I love you as a woman, Miriallia…Miri. I'm sorry." With that, she shut the door quietly behind her. Miriallia turned slowly to face where her friend…or was it her lover, had been moments before. "Lacus…" She finished dressing herself in silence, staring at her reflection.

Across the hall, Cagalli was staring at the ceiling, thanking and cursing Murrue and her advice. Lacus; dress, makeup, and all, was sobbing in her arms on the floor. Explanations were not needed. Lacus needed to cry and it was obvious what had happened. The dam had finally broken, the confrontation had occurred. The result was plain as day. _What do I do now?! The party is in half an hour? Do we still go? If we don't, this will just stew forever. If we do though…that might be worse. God, why Mir? Fucking why?!_

"Lacus," Cagalli said softly. "Lacus, what happened?"

"I said what I had to say Cagalli. She knows. There's nothing more I can do." Lacus wiped a tear from her eye.

"I understand. Do you still want to go tonight? I can stay here with you if you need me to." Cagalli recalled Murrue's warning to be there for both her friends, but right now Lacus was the only person she wanted to take care of. If Miriallia wanted to go, she could go alone.

"No Cagalli. You know running from rejection has never been my style." Lacus was fighting hard, but she was serious.

"Are you sure Lacus? You don't need to be a hero."

"I know Cagalli. To be honest, I feel like curling into a ball and dying. Maybe the true gravity of all this hasn't even hit me yet, but I know I can't surrender like that. It won't be good for me and it won't be good for Miriallia."

"Who cares about Miriallia right now? Lacus, focus on you!"

Lacus took a deep breath. "I care about Miriallia, Cagalli. You don't just stop loving someone. We came here to have fun, so let's go to that party."

"Yeah. We did, didn't we? Come here, let's fix your hair and get going. Gotta make Mir jealous right?"

Lacus smiled through the tears as Cagalli admired her inner strength. A few minutes later they met Miriallia in silence at the foot of the stairs and walked to the car. It was a short distance to Rau's house, but long enough that taking a car was worth it. Miriallia got into the driver's seat as Cagalli and Lacus opted for the rear. Neither of them particularly wanted to share the front. Mir couldn't blame them as they drove in silence. Soon the Jeep pulled over onto the grass on the side of Rau's driveway, adding to an already long line of cars. It seemed the party had already begun.

Walking through the large wooden double doors, the girls couldn't help but be awestruck. Cagalli was more used to a wealthy lifestyle and the large houses that came with it, but this was another level. The entryway was large enough to be someone else's house. It was a cavernous room with a large crystal chandelier dangling from the two story ceiling. The floor was a deep red wood and the walls were also painted dark red. The ceiling was lighter and trimmed with what was either gold paint or actual gold foil. Cagalli assumed it would be impolite to ask which. The room was already teeming with guests despite its size.

Stairwells flanked either side of the room, leading up to a second floor landing where eight doors that presumably led to various guest rooms. For now they were all open, but Lacus had seen this sort of situation before. By the end of the night, most of them would close, open and close again as various new "couples" decided to explore one another. _So, that's the kind of party this guy throws. Well, I suppose that's what you do when you've got this much money and no parental supervision. _ She thought. Lacus was worried though. Right now, with all that had happened, Miriallia was a wild card and she was sure that watching her go upstairs with a stranger was something she did not want to see.

While they were standing in the entryway, a tall, blond man wearing a silver mask across his eyes walked up to them.

"Good evening ladies, I'm so glad you could come tonight. Lacus, Miriallia." He took each of their hands in turn and planted a light kiss on each. "And I don't believe I've met you before miss…" He turned to look at Cagalli.

"Cagalli Yula Autha. You're Rau Le Creuset I assume." She said courteously.

"Guilty as charged." The young man smiled and kissed her hand as well. "Well, now that we all know one another, allow me to welcome you to my home. There are various hors d'oeuvres that I hope you find to your liking. They are a bit heavy, but I had hoped everyone would tuck in before the alcohol really gets flowing. To that end, you'll find champagne at either side of the hall for starters. In a couple hours we will switch over to more…common fare and dim the lights. Now if you will excuse me ladies, I must see to these gentlemen behind you. Enjoy the party!"

"Thank you!" The girls said in unison as they moved from the door and into the party. Rau smiled to himself. _Excellent. She came._

Within half an hour, it looked like most of the people in Archangel below the age of 30 were there. Lacus and Cagalli had stuck close to one another for comfort. Cagalli wished Athrun was there and Lacus didn't really want to be hit on by guys so soon. Cagalli provided a bit of a buffer. Miriallia had gone off to mingle with the other guests. Lacus couldn't help but glance her way every few minutes, silently sizing up each man Miriallia was talking to, loathing them each in turn. She was in the middle of doing so when Cagalli tapped her on the shoulder again.

"Lacus, how did we not notice the freaking oysters before now?!" Cagalli almost shouted. The music was classical and not offensive, but the sheer number of people in the room mandated an elevated volume.

"What? There are oysters? Cagalli, don't pull my leg here."

"Seriously, come on, I'll show you!" Cagalli grabbed Lacus by the hand and led her to one of the many tables that lined the periphery of the room. Most were laden with food or drink. This particular one hosted a giant bed of ice, complete with about 50 raw oysters.

"Wow." Lacus expressed her amazement as she looked down at the spread. "He really pulled out all the stops for this party didn't he?"

"I suppose so." Cagalli didn't want to admit that she had been to multiple parties just like this with her father. Not that it would have made Lacus mad, Cagalli just didn't like bringing up her wealth around her friends.

"You think he's compensating for something? Between this and the mask?" Lacus asked.

"He may be, but not for his penis size." Cagalli said matter of factly as Lacus blushed. "I think he's normally a very lonely person."

"Really?"

"Yes. I would put money on it. I don't think his parents are around much."

"That's sad, but he's been a very gracious host so far. So uh…do you know how to eat these Cagalli? I've never eaten an oyster before."

"If you want my honest opinion, that's a benefit of being from the Midwest Lacus."

"I still want to try one!"

"And I totally respect that. So, it's actually pretty simple. You just tip it into your mouth and swallow. Don't chew…it won't end well. Beginner mistake I made once."

"Ew, I can only imagine." Lacus giggled as she picked up two oysters. "So it's like a shot…but of seafood?"

"Exactly." Cagalli replied, taking one from Lacus. "Well, bottoms up then?" The two of them crossed their arms and in true collegiate fashion took their 'oyster shots'.

"Well? What did you think?" Cagalli asked as Lacus grimaced slightly.

"It actually wasn't bad. Felt a bit funky but I could totally get used to that if I had all that money." Lacus replied.

"Well, you're going into show business right? You probably have a better chance than I do!"

"Well, if I do hit it big, you'll be invited to all of my parties." Lacus smiled wide at her friend, thankful for Cagalli's steadfast companionship.

"I'd like that Lacus." Cagalli smiled back. "Shall we seek out some champagne next?"

"I agree! Let's go!"

So while Miriallia sampled the men at the party, Cagalli and Lacus sampled the wonderful array of food and drink that Rau had provided his guests. Around 8, Cagalli noticed Rau wheeling some of the tables back through a door she assumed led to the kitchen. _All this and he doesn't have any hired help? That's a bit odd._

"Hey Lacus, I'm going to go speak with Rau for a moment. Will you be alright?"

"I'm a big girl Cagalli. I'll be alright. I promise."

"Alright, be back in a minute." Cagalli parted from her friend and pushed past the door in the back of the room, stepping into a large, sparkling kitchen that reminded her of home.

"Hey Rau, are you in here?" She called out into the large space.

"Hello? Did somebody call…oh, Cagalli. How can I help you?" _Now this is a pleasant surprise indeed._ Rau thought to himself.

"I saw you taking the tables back here and wondered if you needed help. I figured maybe you would have someone else to do it given how lovely everything else has been here tonight."

"Well that's very kind of you to say." Rau spoke calmly as he walked up to Cagalli. "You speak as though you're used to this sort of affair."

"I've been to a few in my time."

"I see. Well then I must admit that I do not have any hired help with me tonight. I had assistance preparing all the tables though, so it's really just an issue of swapping them out. No big deal."

"Would you like some help?"

"Were you being harassed outside?"

"What?!"

"Well, I figured that would be the reason you might duck out of the party back here."

"No, that's not it. I honestly just wanted to know if you needed help."

Rau's facial expression changed behind the mask.

"You are very kind Cagalli. You remind me of a good friend I had long ago. I would be glad to accept your help."

"Is your friend no longer around, if you don't mind my asking?" Cagalli wondered, curious as to if Rau had been referencing Athrun.

"No. She and I simply had to part ways. It was a matter of circumstance."

_So it wasn't about Athrun then. _"Sorry to hear that."

"It's not your fault, of course. Don't worry about it. Now then, if you wouldn't mind, there are two tables to get out there. One has been and the other has spirits and various mixers. Can you take one of them to the left side of the room? I will be going right."

"Sure thing."

"I am in your debt."

"Oh please, don't get cute with me." Cagalli smiled at him.

"As you wish Cagalli." Rau returned the grin in kind.

As she wheeled the table full of bottles out into the party to the cheers of the other partygoers, Cagalli's mind wandered back to what Athrun had said about Rau. It seemed that he was indeed a decent person. _So what could have happened between the two of them? There seems to be no room for forgiveness. It must have been bad._ But she knew little else and had to put it out of her mind. Lacus had been alone for a while and Cagalli wanted to make sure she was ok.

Cagalli located Lacus over at the other table. The girl had always been a fan of beer. Cagalli grabbed one as well and nodded to Rau.

"Thanks again. I'm just going to go set the mood for the next stage and I'll rejoin you." Rau said as he parted back behind the doors to the kitchen. Soon the lights dimmed and the music changed abruptly. Rau was clearly a fan of techno, as a remix of Adagio for Strings by Tiesto flooded the room. A fresh round of cheers went up. Given the amount of alcohol that had already been consumed and soon would be, everyone was excited to get dancing, Lacus and Cagalli included. By now, Miriallia had been lost in the crowd. As far as Cagalli was concerned it should be kept that way. She would sit down and talk with Mir later.

Being from the Midwest, Lacus was a big fan of swing dancing in addition to the usual bumping and grinding. Since she wasn't in that mood for that, she grabbed Cagalli by the hands and they began to move to the beat, spinning and stepping around one another. Lacus exhibited grace in her heels as Cagalli barely kept up. A few guys and girls looked on, including Rau for a brief period. But by now most people had found one (or many) people to get close to on the dance floor. Cagalli was just happy to see Lacus smiling.

About half an hour later Cagalli glanced upward and was surprised to see more than half the doors on the upper level closed. Many of them had articles of clothing like ties or bras hanging from the door handles. It was a sobering reminder that many of the men there, and perhaps even Rau himself, had those sorts of expectations that night. It was clear that Lacus had noticed too, as she stopped dancing and asked if Cagalli wanted to get another beer with her, to which she obliged. The two of them had only had one glass of champagne, so they were more than alright to have a second round. In the back of her mind, Lacus was hoping that Miriallia had exhibited the same prudence. Rau approached them at the table again. He had removed his mask and Cagalli was surprised to see deep blue eyes staring back at her.

"That was a bit of a show you two put on there. You're quite a skillful dancer Lacus."

"Thank you!" Lacus blushed and drank deeply from her beer.

"You weren't so bad yourself Cagalli."

"I don't think I can hold a candle to Lacus, but that's why she was born to be a performer and I wasn't." Cagalli smiled at her friend.

"Well, in either case, both of you look very beautiful this evening. I hope you're enjoying the party."

"We are thank you." Lacus replied. Cagalli blushed a bit at the comment. She was barely used to Athrun complimenting her on her appearance, much less other men.

Rau stayed and made small talk with them for a few more minutes, which Cagalli was happy for. Lacus was taking a break from dancing and she was happy to have something to do other than look around and hope they didn't catch sight of Miriallia. Rau had been discussing his own education at an Ivy League institution when Cagalli notice Lacus was behaving strangely. She was staring at something behind Cagalli, prompting both her and Rau to turn and look up. A tall, brown haired man was leading none other than Miriallia up the stairs. For her part, Mir did not look fit to walk, much less make love. She had clearly drunk way too much, having been unsupervised the whole night. Cagalli swore under her breath. _Why didn't I split my time between the two of them tonight? I should have known Mir would have been in just as bad a state as…_

"Lacus!" Cagalli turned quickly to face her friend, but she was no longer there. Rau pointed to the entryway. Lacus' blue dress flashed for a moment and then she was gone.

"Rau, I'm sorry, I need to go after her."

"I understand Cagalli. If I may make a quick request before you leave?"

"Make it quick." Cagalli didn't mean to sound combative, but she really wasn't paying attention to her tone of voice.

"Would you go out on my boat with me on Sunday morning? I'll be on clean up duty tomorrow, but I would like to get to know you better. I feel we have a lot in common." Cagalli stood shocked at Rau's proposal. _Oh, right. Rau doesn't know about me and Athrun. But he has been really nice to me and I don't see what harm it could do. I'll just tell him I have a boyfriend and that should smooth everything over. Besides, I have to get to Lacus!_

"Ok, I will. I have to go now, but thank you for the party."

"Of course Cagalli, I hope Lacus is alright."

"Me too…me too." With that, Cagalli turned and dashed for the door, leaving her beer on the table. Rau picked it up and examined the bottle in the light. _Perfect._ A sly grin formed on his face as he melted back into the partygoers.

"Lacus!" Cagalli cried as she closed the door behind her, shutting out most of the noise except for the bass beat. "Lacus where are you?" She rushed past a couple making out behind a tree, looking desperately for her friend. A sob reached her ear and she made a beeline for it. She found Lacus sitting on a bench outside the house, weeping into her hands. Cagalli sat down and put her arm around her.

"I can't do it." Lacus managed between sharp intakes of breath. "I can't watch her like that. How is that love?!" She screamed painfully. "How is that better Mir?!"

"Lacus, what happened?" Cagalli asked again.

"She said she wanted love. She wanted something she never had. That's what she said. Something she never had." Lacus wouldn't continue further. Her back heaved under Cagalli's arm.

A burning anger was forming in the pit of Cagalli's stomach. Miriallia was in the dog house.

"She's a fool Lacus." Cagalli said soft but angrily. "That girl's a fool then. She wouldn't know love if it walked up to her and slapped her in the face. And knowing you, love did walk up to her and slap her in the face. She will see the error of her ways Lacus. Either that or I'll make her see them." Cagalli glared into the darkness as she held her pink haired friend close. _This is what true love is. You're a fool Mir. It's been in front of you the whole time. It still is._

_'I love you Miriallia Hawe.' _Those words filtered lazily though the haze that clouded Miriallia's mind. Somewhere, distantly, her mind registered that she was being filled. She was in a room, a nice room from the looks of it. Someone was inside her, but she had no idea who. She looked to her side, out the window. Light from a crescent moon flowed in. _She loves me? But I don't want that. That's not true. That's not right._ The arguments chased each other in circles through her head. _This isn't what I want. But it's closer…right? This is what God intended, right? It's what I'm supposed to do. Find love with a man. But then…why don't I feel anything. I should feel it…something…anything. It should feel like when I'm with…her. Oh God._ A low voice broke through to her.

"Miriallia. Miriallia, are you alright?"

"Wha?" She looked absent mindedly at the face of the naked man above her. He looked young and had long, curly brown hair. His face was full of concern.

"Miriallia. Am I wearing a condom?" He asked.

"What? I…I don't…"

"You don't know. Do you?" The man sighed and rolled off of her. Miriallia felt empty, but it wasn't a change from a moment earlier. She had felt empty all along.

"Lucky for you I had one." The man said as he rolled the latex off his penis and threw it away. "Do you even know my name?" Miriallia shook her head. "Man, then why the hell did you ask me up here?"

"I don't know." Mir said after a long pause. "I'm sorry." She felt drunk, but most of it was psychological. In reality, she had consumed no more than her friends. But the sound of Lacus' voice wouldn't leave her head. The warmth of Lacus' breath and hands came back to her over and over again. Moments from college had flashed through her mind all night, now colored by the revelation that Lacus was not just looking at it as a hookup. Lacus had been something more to her…something she had never wanted or chosen to see.

"Is there someone else?" The man's voice broke through to her again. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Would you hate me if I told you it was a girl?" Miriallia looked at him.

"Ha! Well, no. I suppose that's better in terms of fidelity, but it certainly hurts my pride as a man." He laughed.

Miriallia walked to the window and looked out. She was beginning to feel supremely embarrassed at what she had done that night. She was ashamed of all she had gone through to try to deny something that had smoldered inside her for years. She had been in conflict with herself for so long, and she was tired.

"I don't actually have a girlfriend." She spoke again. "But…" The man came over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. He looked out the window with her.

"What happened?"

"I turned away someone who loved me."

"Why?"

"She's a girl. Is that wrong?"

"Is what wrong?"

"Loving another woman?"

"Look at yourself and I think you'll know the answer." The man said as he looked out at the driveway.

"I think that we all just want to be happy." He continued. "Our parents want that for us. Our friends want it for us. God wants that for us…if you're a believer." He looked at Miriallia, who nodded at him. "What more is there to life than being happy? I can't think of anything, but I'm a bit drunk." He grinned slowly. "Is that her?" He pointed to a figure below the window. It was Lacus and Cagalli. It was obvious Lacus was in tears.

"Yes."

"Does she look happy?"

"No."

"And I can tell you right now that you don't look happy."

"So what do I do?"

"Will she make you happy?" He cocked an eyebrow at Miriallia. She paused for a long time, watching the figure below her, the suffering she had caused.

"Yes." Miriallia managed. She could feel the tears coming now too. "Yes. Yes."

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No. Not just yet. What's your name?"

"Tolle Koenig."

"Tolle…can I have your phone?"

"What?"

"Please."

"Uh, yeah, sure." Tolle went and fished his phone out of his jeans pocket and handed it to Mir. After a few moments she handed it back.

"Miriallia Hawe…that's your full name?"

"Yeah. Listen Tolle, I'm sorry for tonight. But you've been such a gentleman. Certainly more than any of the other guys I've had a one night stand with. Anyways, I want to make it up to you. I feel bad you got trapped by the one lesbian in denial this evening." Tolle laughed again.

"I have to admit, it wasn't what I was expecting, but I must admit it's been much more interesting." Miriallia smiled at his as she blinked back a tear.

"I live in New York City…or I will after the summer. If you're ever in the area, give me a call. I'd be more than happy to introduce you to any of my friends. I'm sure they'd love to meet a guy like you."

"I appreciate that Miriallia. Thank you."

"No, thank you Tolle." She put her arm around him and placed her head on his shoulder. "You feel warm…but she makes me burn."

"I wish you the best of luck then. And I'm sure the Big Man up there does too."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Cagalli was about to suggest walking home when Miriallia's voice appeared behind her.

"Is she ok?" Lacus had fallen asleep on Cagalli's lap. Cagalli turned and gave her friend a glare that could have killed.

"No thanks to you." She had very little else to say in public. He words were knives.

"I know. I've been a fool. I'll drive us home. Let's talk in the morning…for her sake." Miriallia motioned at Lacus' sleeping form. "I'll walk behind, she doesn't need to know." Cagalli nodded. _Murrue, you can see the future, can't you? Looks like this might work out after all. I wonder what happened upstairs. It sure doesn't look like it was a hot and steamy heterosexual sex scene._

"Lacus." Cagalli whispered as she nudged her friend. Mir stepped back. "Lacus, I got the keys, come on. Let's go home." Lacus nodded sleepily in consent, putting her arm around Cagalli as they walked back to the car. Miriallia followed silently behind, deep in thought. Arriving at the car, Cagalli helped Lacus curl up in the back seat and made like she was heading to the driver's seat. She and Miriallia entered the car at the same time in order to minimize the chance Lacus would notice that she and Miriallia were in the same car. The plan worked. Five minutes later they were idling outside the cabin. Mir motioned to Cagalli to get out as she shut off the engine. Cagalli nodded and took Lacus inside, leaving Miriallia to stare absent-mindedly at the glowing dash. _How do I go back to her? How can I…save us after what I did? How could I have been so foolish? Why do people believe such hateful things? Why did I? _

Upstairs, Cagalli had waited patiently while Lacus had gotten undressed and ready for bed. She was still crying, but not enough to impede normal activity. Cagalli was happy that Miriallia had come back. She wasn't sure if the house would have remained standing had Miriallia come home after spending the night with a random man. That said, she was still furious.

"Cagalli, I'm alright, really." Lacus said as she headed to her bedroom. "Thank you for being with me tonight. I'm sorry."

"Oh my god Lacus, don't apologize. It's Miriallia who should be apologizing."

"Maybe, but I can't make her love me. That's just how it is I guess."

"Lacus…"

"I'm going to go to sleep now Cagalli. Thanks again for being such a great friend."

"You're welcome Lacus. I'll see you in the morning." The door closed quietly and Cagalli headed back outside. Miriallia was waiting, arms folded, leaning against the hood of her Jeep, staring at the moon.

"You can come inside now." Cagalli said curtly.

"Thanks." Miriallia replied in kind. They stopped in the living room.

"I think you should sleep down here tonight." Cagalli cautioned.

"I agree."

"Anything you want to say about tonight?"

"I was a fool. And I'm sorry, to you and to Lacus."

"What does that mean?"

"What are you asking?"

"I'm asking if you are in love with Lacus or not!"

"I am."

"Then what the FUCK Mir? What the hell was tonight?!"

"I never said I'd believed I was."

"So what…having a dick in you somehow brought you to your senses?" Cagalli was livid.

"That's not exactly how it happened…but it was a combination of that experience and what Lacus said to me before the party…oh who am I kidding, it's been going on for years. But you don't just, you can't just break free of a lifetime of being told something you want it wrong. Tonight I think I did."

Cagalli sighed deeply. It was hard to be mad at Miriallia for long. She was telling the truth. It wasn't like she had wanted to hurt Lacus on purpose.

"I understand, and I'm glad you think you're past that. If it weren't for tonight I'd be fucking thrilled. But you didn't see Lacus' face when you went up those stairs. You didn't watch her cry. You have a lot to make up."

"I know. I just don't know how."

"Neither do I Mir. That's for you to figure out. If you really truly want Lacus and you think it's worth it, I'm sure you will think of something. You can come get the spare bedding from my room. I don't want you walking in on Lacus."

"Understood."

The remainder of the night was spend in silence. Mir headed to bed as soon as they had made up the couch. Cagalli retired shortly after. She stared at the ceiling, trying to process everything that had happened that night. _Patience Cagalli, patience._ She remembered Murrue's advice from earlier. _Besides, I have other things to worry about. I agreed to a…date, with Rau Le Creuset!_


	15. Chapter 15

_***Note from the Author: Hello readers, I'm back. I'm sorry for the 6 month hiatus, but life gets in the way sometimes. For those of you who have been waiting patiently, I apologize, I thank you, and I hope you enjoy.**_

_**Chapter 15**_

___Cagalli made her way downstairs the next morning to find Miriallia already awake, staring out the glass doors of the living room, perhaps asking the lake and sunrise for answers. If so, Cagalli hoped they would answer, there was no telling what sort of mental state Lacus would be in when she woke._

_"How is she?" Mir asked without turning from the glass._

_"I'm not sure. I didn't want to disturb her this morning." Cagalli replied. Miriallia nodded curtly. "Have you thought about what you might say to her?"_

_Scarlet shame crept over Miriallia's face. She wanted to hate Cagalli for a brief instant, for reminding her of her own ineptitude. But in the end, it was only herself that was to blame. Mir wasn't blind to that, even if she had been to everything else. The events of the last 24 hours has put her life into perspective in a way she knew was unlikely to occur again, but she had never felt more lost and confused. "I don't know." She finally managed a reply as Cagalli sat down to a hasty breakfast. "Would you mind…"_

_"Getting out of the house? Yeah, no problem." Cagalli finished her thought. "I was actually hoping to borrow the Jeep to see Athrun. I feel bad that he wasn't there last night."_

_"Sure thing."_

_Cagalli nodded at her cereal, thankful that Miriallia was too occupied to ask questions about Athrun and Rau. Much as she wanted to sort out the situation with Lacus, there was nothing she could do at this point. Plus, her mind was more than busy trying to rationalize why she had agreed to Rau's request and whether she should tell Athrun about it. Fifteen minutes later Cagalli departed, praying to find the cabin still standing when she returned. Miriallia was still standing at the door._

_I really don't know if I should tell him or not. __Cagalli puzzled as the lake passed lazily by out the passenger side window. __I know he'd be jealous and probably hurt if I didn't tell him and he found out, but if I did tell him I'm sure he would feel threatened. It's not like I have any intention of doing anything with Rau, so I might just be causing him undue stress. I'm sure Murrue would know what to do.__ Cagalli thought. __But I don't think I want to tell her either! __Her brow furrowed as she drove on, unable to come to a sound conclusion. _

_As she stepped out of the Jeep onto the loose gravel in front of Athrun's cabin, Odin picked his head up and started barking happily at her. Cagalli knelt and scratched the wolf between the ears, remembering their first encounter with something that was beginning to border on fondness. "Did you miss me boy?" She cooed at him in a voice one might use with a boisterous young child. "I bet you did, didn't you!" Cagalli ruffled the fur over his shoulders as the screen door swung open with a soft creaking. _

_"He's not the only one." Athrun looked down at her through a wave of unkempt blue hair. "To what do I owe the pleasure m'lady?" He offered her his hand._

_"Don't flatter yourself, you're no knight." Cagalli grinned at him as she took his hand. He helped her up into his arms, pulling her close for a deep long kiss. She pressed her fingertips into Athrun's back and moaned softly in approval as he brought his hand to her cheek, stroking her face gently with his thumb. Odin made a noise something between a whine and a grunt of disapproval as the embraced continued, finally giving up his position and slinking around the back of the cabin. Cagalli pulled away smiling, almost drowning in the emerald eyes. "I think we scared him off." She couldn't help but giggle at the thought._

_"He's just modest, that's all." Athrun laughed back at her._

_"Well he sure didn't learn that from you. Kissing me out here for the world to see!"_

_"Maybe I wanted them to see? And you sure didn't have any complaints on the boat." Athrun's look was one of triumph as Cagalli began to blush. "Well, come on in. I'm sure you've got a story or two for me from last night?"_

_You have no idea.__ Cagalli thought as he led her inside by the hand._

_A few minutes later they were sitting on Athrun's bed sipping lemonade out of tall glasses while he asked her about the party. Cagalli looked at him incredulously. Athrun was either oblivious or devious. __Or maybe a little of both.__ She thought to herself as she vividly recalled the last time she had shared Athrun's bed. She suppressed a pleasurable shiver as her stomach tightened. _

_"So was it any fun for you and the girls?" Athrun's voice broke through again._

_"What?"_

_"Man Cagalli, are you alright? I was asking if you and Mir and Lacus had a good time."_

_Athrun, you're a savior.__ She now had more than enough material to completely avoid all mention of Rau._

_"Well, I had a pretty good time. Mir and Lacus…well…that's a more complicated subject." She looked up at him with a faint smile. Athrun cocked an eyebrow in response._

_"Does this story have a happy ending?"_

_"I don't know, it's still being written." _

_That caused Athrun to raise both eyebrows. He gestured across the lake with a nod of his head and Cagalli nodded in reply. "I see." Athrun seemed immersed in thought as he sipped his drink. "I guess you'd better start from the beginning then. They're your friends after all. I should know about them…and they me. You know, if we're going to be hanging out like this now?" He smiled down at her. _

_How did he just turn that into something romantic?__ Cagalli asked herself as she hugged him around his waist. If the gesture took Athrun by surprise, he didn't show it._

_"Does that mean it's a long story?" He said softly, voice muffled as he planted a kiss in her hair, pausing to savor her soft tresses._

_"Where do I even begin?" Cagalli wondered aloud. _

_"We've got all day, right?"_

_"Hmm, very true Mr. Zala." She ran a finger down his chest. "I guess we should start about an hour before the party…"_

_By the time Cagalli finished, embellishing some details and omitting others, the sun was high in the sky and the ice had long melted in their glasses, leaving lemon flavored water in its wake. Athrun had been silent throughout the telling._

_"What do you think she will do?" He asked. "Can she do anything?"_

_"That all depends on Lacus I guess. She's usually a very forgiving and easy going person, but you can never be sure when a broken heart is involved. For all she knows, Miriallia is passed out in some guy's bed…and liking it."_

_"I'm sure she will clear the air eventually. The question is more how do you convince someone you love them when twenty four hours ago you said you couldn't be with them? And I don't really have an answer to that I'm afraid."_

_"Thankfully you aren't the one who needs to come up with that. I just hope Mir has a better time of it. There's still two months left in that cabin and I'm not looking forward to it if things go south."_

_"You could always stay here." Athrun joked. "I'm sure that would go over well with the two of them."_

_"It would go over well with Lacus you mean." Cagalli told him playfully. "It's a fun idea to think about but…" _

_"Not really ready for something like that? I mean, I wasn't really being serious anyway. I'm sorry." He smiled gently at her._

_"Don't be sorry, but maybe we could start with something a little closer to where we left off last time I was here. If memory serves correctly I didn't even get to take your shirt off." Cagalli mused as Athrun met her eyes._

_"Well then sexy, I can think of a couple ways to remedy that situation," he took Cagalli's glass and placed it with his on the floor with a dull clink against the hardwood floor. "And the choice is yours." Athrun's lips curled into a small, knowing smile as he watched Cagalli's eyes shift from his own, to his lips, to his chest, and back up. She exhaled raggedly, feeling the knots in her stomach tighten anew. _

_How is it even possible for someone to be this sexy?__ Cagalli couldn't help but wonder. All thought of Rau and her roommates was gone. It was only Athrun, his blue hair, his green eyes, and his chest…artfully concealed beneath the undershirt that smelled as if he had slept in it for a night. It was an intoxicating mix of Old Spice and what her body subconsciously knew to be pheromones. It smelled uniquely and distinctly Athrun, and she was hooked._

_"You should know…" she muttered up at him. "I'm terrible at making decisions like this." He smiled down at her, more broadly this time._

_"I'm only going to bail you out this one time, ok?" Athrun whispered in her ear as he leaned into her, feeling her breasts pressing softly into his chest. Cagalli wrapped her arms around his waist, placing her hands up on his shoulders from below. She dug her nails in and dragged them down the fabric. A faint scratching sound filled their ears, causing Athrun to grin even wider. __She can't resist me.__ Not waiting for an answer, he gently pulled her hands off of him. Drawing his arms across his chest, Athrun curled his fingers under the hem of his shirt and lifted slowly. Cagalli didn't even try to hide her desire, reaching out to touch his flat, chiseled abs before Athrun could even get the garment over his head._

_"Like what you see?"_

_"And what I feel." She barely managed to get the words out. Cagalli had told herself that she wanted to come and see Athrun for advice and for a break from the drama of her life. That may have been so, but the building heat in the pit of her stomach and the fluttering of her heart belied that claim. _

_"Well then that makes two of us." He replied calmly as he leaned in to kiss her. Athrun took his time, savoring the smooth contours of Cagalli's lips. Every now and again he would run his tongue over them as his free hand pressed firmly into the small of her back. For Cagalli, it might as well have been the first time they had ever kissed. Every sensation was magnified beyond what she thought was reasonable. She was melting under his touch. It was all she could do to wrap her arms around his neck and hold on. _

_Soon Cagalli's tongue met Athrun's and they resumed the dance that they had left off on the same bed. Athrun's hands were exploring most of Cagalli's body now. Between running them through her hair and around her waist, Athrun would occasionally brush over one of Cagalli's breasts. Each time, her breath would catch in her throat, but he moved on just as quickly. __There will be a time and a place.__ He thought to himself as he felt the delicious sensation of her nails digging into his bare back. __But not now, not yet. _

_"God Athrun." Cagalli managed between kisses. "You're incredible at this."_

_"Let's just say I have a lot of motivation." He replied softly as he laid her down on the bed and rolled to her side. Athrun planted another kiss on her lips while Cagalli trailed circles with her fingers over his chest. "But I want to get to know more than your body."_

_"Mmm, alright." Cagalli murmured. She could feel endorphins flooding her body, the result of hours of kissing Athrun…or was it minutes? Time never seemed to behave normally when their lips locked together. "But anything you ask me is fair game for you too." A hint of nervousness flashed behind Athrun's eyes. __This means I can't ask about family then.__ He mused. __If we started talking about that…it wouldn't end well.__ Athrun had hoped to learn more about Cagalli's mother or father, to figure out why she was at times so hesitant and afraid, and so willful at others. But if she turned around and asked him about his parents, it would inevitably lead to the question of why he didn't leave Archangel. And as special a girl as Cagalli was, he still had no desire to leave. _

_"Well, are you going to ask me a question or what?" Cagalli asked him, looking up from his chest to meet his eyes._

_"I suppose I should, shouldn't I? Hrrm, well, tell me about what you studied in college. What are your plans when summer is over?"_

_Cagalli's eyes fell for a moment. The last thing she wanted to think about was what would happen when summer ended. She wanted to stay with Athrun without a time limit. She wanted to stay with the man who was beginning to make her feel alive again. _

_"I suppose it has to end…doesn't it?" She replied dolefully, remembering the story of how another girl had thought her time with Athrun would never finish._

_"Yes, it does sweetie." Athrun comforted her and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "But it's not ending anytime soon."_

_"Yeah, I guess you're right." She smiled back at him. It was true after all. Cagalli had almost all of July and August left to spend here. "So you honestly want to know about what I studied?"_

_"Well of course. I thought that's what people do when they're in a relationship? They learn about each other."_

_Cagalli blushed at his reply. She had sort of figured that they were indeed in a relationship; that she was indeed his girlfriend, but actually hearing it from him was something else. _

_"Okay, boyfriend." She giggled at herself. "But I promise you it's boring."_

_"I'll be the judge of that I think." Athrun smiled back at her._

_"Your funeral." Cagalli warned. "But alright. I went to business school actually, my dad wanted me to learn how to provide for myself I guess. I insisted that I would be able to regardless of what my degree was in, but he was the one paying for it, so that carried some weight."_

_"I'm sorry, did you dislike it?"_

_"Actually no. I admit some of the required courses like accounting made me want to slit my wrists, but I ended up really liking marketing. I majored in that and got a minor in psychology. I just like knowing how people think, you know?"_

_"Hrrrm, interesting. You aren't going to ask me to lie down on a couch and tell you about my problems are you?" Athrun replied in a joking tone. _

_"No, I won't. You have no need to fear Dr. Freud…unless you want to talk about your problems, in which case I don't need a couch."_

_Yeah, let's NOT do that.__ Athrun thought. "I think I'll pass. So what are you going to do then? Marketing work or psychology?"_

_"I managed to land a job at a marketing firm in NYC, so I'll be doing that. Not really sure what to expect but I'm actually not dreading it."_

_"Well that's good. You're far too young and beautiful to be stuck in a job you don't like." Cagalli blushed at Athrun's quip. _

_"I'll keep that in mind." She looked down at his abs again, finding that breaking eye contact didn't help the situation at all. "What about you? Mwu said you did college online, right?"_

_Athrun let out a hearty laugh. "Those two could never keep anything a secret. I'm more worried about what Murrue told you to be honest."_

_"Nothing bad! Well, I mean, nothing you haven't already told me."_

_"My parents?"_

_Cagalli looked down again in shame, kicking herself for bringing it up. "Yes. I'm sorry." Athrun touched her chin and raised her head again so he could look at her._

_"It's ok Cagalli. It's not your fault. Let's just go back to talking about college, ok?"_

_"Yeah, sure." She agreed sheepishly._

_"Ok. But that's true. I did decide to just take an online degree from here. The university isn't anything you'd know, but I've never really had use of a degree yet, so it was just about learning more about engineering. As you could probably tell from the Aegis, I love tinkering with things and figuring out how they work. In a perfect world I'd really love to open my own shop."_

_"Shop for what?"_

_"Anything that runs with an engine! So I'm not sure, maybe a garage on the water somewhere. I could work on boats and cars and all sorts of stuff. It's just a lot of fun to take something apart and put it back together again, usually because I can manage to find a way to make it work better." Athrun had become quite animated during this part of the conversation. It was almost shocking to Cagalli to see him so happy and worked up. The suave, reserved Athrun had given way to a boy who really liked playing with toys. That said, the toys were engines and the boy was very much a man. Even so, it was a refreshing perspective, something she had never seen before._

_"I think that sounds wonderful actually." She smiled at him._

_"Do you? Well, maybe you could convince some more people to break down around here. Not nearly enough machines come through here to start something like that."_

_"So why not go somewhere else?" Cagalli immediately regretted saying it. She had gotten so comfortable talking with Athrun that she had forgotten some topics were taboo._

_"Let's talk about something else, alright?" Athrun's face lost its glow immediately. _

_Damnit Cagalli, you really killed the mood on this one.__ Cagalli thought. __Save it. Save it!__ "Uh actually, I'm kinda hungy. Any chance you want to cook for me again?" She hugged him in an 'I'm sorry' way._

_"I think that sounds like an excellent idea actually." Athrun kissed her head, collected his shirt and headed into the kitchen with Cagalli close behind. "Do you want to call Odin? I think he's been exiled enough for one morning."_

_"I think you're right, poor guy." Cagalli said over her shoulder as she walked out onto the porch and looked around the pines. __I hope Mir and Lacus are ok._

_I hope Cagalli's having a fun time at least.__ Miriallia thought as she sat on the living room couch. It was almost noon and Lacus still hadn't woken up, undoubtedly sleeping off a hangover or a broken heart. __Or both maybe.__ She punched the leather, but the response was unsatisfying. No amount of inanimate object abuse would solve the fact that she still had nothing to say to the woman she loved. __The woman I hurt.__ At that moment Mir heard water splash into the bathroom sink and her stomach contorted. "Well, I'm screwed." She moaned and buried her face in her hands. A few minutes later, she heard the unmistakable sound of Lacus padding down the stairs. Miriallia stood and turned to face her friend. She opened her mouth, but her brain betrayed her. Her lungs constricted and no words would come._

_"I didn't think you'd be here." Lacus said to her, emotionless. It had been a long time since Mir had seen Lacus like this and she never wanted to see it again: cold and vengeful. _

_"Lacus I-" she managed to croak out._

_"I guess he wasn't good enough to make you stay for breakfast then." Lacus lashed out at her. "Well no matter, there's no shortage of guys at the beach. You should go, maybe take one of my swimsuits and show off your assets. That's what they're all interested in after all."_

_"Lacus…"_

_"WHAT, Mir? What do you want from me, huh? What do you want me to say to you? Do you want me to tell you I'm alright? Do you want me to tell you I understand? Do you want me to say that this is some sort of choice and that I'm into girls because I want to get back at my parents or some shit like that? Huh?! Out with it!" Lacus was yelling now, her eyes clouding over with tears in spite of her anger._

_"I'm…I'm" Miriallia couldn't do it anymore. She had nothing to say that could make things better. No explanation or apology could take back what she had said last night in her last ditch effort to deny reality. All she could feel was raw emotion and it was overwhelming her. Lacus turned away and went to the fridge as Miriallia collapsed to her knees. Her eyes burned as her own tears came, dripping silently into the carpet. She had never felt so weak and helpless._

_"Oh please, spare me the crocodile tears." Lacus forced herself to say, knowing that if she didn't keep up her tough outer shell that she might very well break down and cry as well. "Miriallia, look." She sighed, contemplating the carton of milk. "I can't force you to love me, no more than you could force me to be straight. I'm angry right now, really angry, but I can't blame you if you aren't like me. It's going to take me time to come to grips with this, so just…"_

_Lacus was interrupted by a very loud sob from Miriallia. A sob that, against all rationality and against her best defenses, lifted the crushed feather of hope in her heart. __There's no way…she said…_

_"Lacus" Mir whispered. "Lacus, I'm sorry."_

_"I am too." Lacus managed, clenching her fists together and fighting the tears. _

_"No. You don't…"_

_"What don't I understand?!" She slammed the refrigerator door and whirled around, marching over to Miriallia. "Tell me what I don't know!"_

_She was standing over Mir, looking down at the top of her head as she cried. "Look at me…Miri." Lacus forced the words, but they didn't stick in her throat. __Damnit, being harsh is…harsh. Oh shit…no…no…no don't do this to me!__ Miriallia had finally managed to sit up and look at her. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, but Lacus could read Mir better than anyone and there was no mistaking the look in her eyes. It was telling her everything. Lacus' face grew dark as Miriallia sat on the couch with her head in her hands again. A bucket of cold water had been thrown over her. __What's true and what's a lie? Is this Miriallia the real one? Or was yesterday's? Or is it still like it's always been…somewhere in between? More importantly…is it worth finding out? I wish Cagalli was here, she would know what to do. No…no she wouldn't Lacus. She can't help you here.__ It dawned on Lacus that this was the precise reason that Cagalli wasn't there. Regardless of how things were to turn out, it was something she and Miriallia would have to go through alone. __Yes, together and yet alone.__ She sat down on the couch, clasping her hands together. Miriallia's crying seemed to soften._

_"Miri, can you talk to me?" There was no response. "Please." After a while, Mir's head nodded._

_"I don't want to force you, but tell me everything about last night." Mir looked up at her with as much shock as she could muster._

_"Everything?"_

_"Everything."_

_ Cagalli returned home shortly before dinner that night. While she had more than recovered from her stumble with Athrun and was feeling quite happy, she turned it down as she stepped through the doorway, unsure of what universe she would be walking into. She had even managed to completely avoid mentioning Rau and didn't want to ruin the moment. Cagalli breathed an inner sigh of relief when she saw Miriallia and Lacus preparing dinner together. The atmosphere was tense, but it was better than the active bloodshed that part of her was expecting. _

_ "Hi girls." She said as she entered the kitchen._

_ "Hey Cagalli." Lacus was the first to reply. "How was Athrun?"_

_ "He's good. I wanted to go see him since he didn't get to make it to the party last night."_

_ "That's nice. Did you have fun?"_

_ "Yeah, he made me lunch and we talked for a long time and walked around the lake near his place. He's got some prime real estate over there."_

_ "Good to know you're getting along so well. Could you help us out here? It's just pasta, but it'll go faster."_

_ "Yeah, sure." Cagalli got to work, realizing that it probably wasn't the best time to talk about how well her relationship was going. She contented herself with a smile and the fact that she really was in a relationship now. Within a few minutes, dinner was on the table and they were eating in silence. __Well, I think this is about as much as I could ask for.__ Cagalli considered. _

_ After cleaning the kitchen, Miriallia sat down in front of the TV. Lacus poured herself another glass of wine and went outside. Cagalli popped open a beer and followed. She wasn't sure who she should ask first, but Lacus was still the 'victim' as far as she knew, so she wanted to make sure she was ok as well. As soon as the door closed Lacus spoke up._

_ "So, I'm guessing you want to know how things went today." She sounded bitter._

_ "Is that such a crime Lacus? You were in pretty bad shape last night."_

_ "I guess I was, sorry. It was her who was in bad shape today."_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ "Yep. I was so mad at her Cagalli, for turning me aside and then rubbing it in my face like that but now…now I pity her."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "She told me about last night."_

_ "Oh?"_

_ "Yeah, including this guy she fucked. Apparently he was some sort of gentleman and helped her come to her senses. Weird story, but I might have to give him a medal depending on how this whole thing goes."_

_ "What whole thing?"_

_ "Well, she knows I love her and I think she's close to admitting she feels the same way. I'm not sure if she thinks I won't forgive her or if she is still struggling with it herself."_

_ "It's probably both; at least that's what she told me last night."_

_ "Huh, I guess she didn't tell me everything. What did she say to you?"_

_ Cagalli considered what she wanted to actually admit to Lacus. __Secrets breed malcontent I suppose. Here goes nothing. __Cagalli rested her elbows on her knees and frowned. "She said she's struggling against a lifetime of being told that what she feels for you is wrong. She's afraid of the repercussions of admitting to herself that she loves you, much less the shame she would bring to her family." Lacus cursed under her breath._

_ "They're a nice family, as long as you're like them." She spat, voice full of disdain. "You're right though. If she ever admits to her parents that she's a lesbian, or even bisexual, that will probably be the last time she talks to them for a very long time. Things like mortality have a way of bringing exiled children back, but it won't be a happy future for her. I almost feel like I'm the offender here with what I'm actually asking her to do."_

_ "You're not Lacus. It's her family's fault, but they're still her family. Are you ready to replace them? Can you even begin to compare to what she would lose by being with you?" Cagalli looked at her friend seriously. She didn't want to be so blunt, but it was the truth. If Lacus and Miriallia happened to break up, Lacus would still have her family to fall back on. Miriallia would have nothing. At least, that was the going assumption based on historical precedent. Lacus swirled her wine and said nothing._

_ "Sorry Lacus, I didn't mean…"_

_ "No, but you're right. As unfair as it is, you're right. She will be able to hide it from them for a time, but no one stays in the closet forever. And who knows, in this day and age we might even get married. You can't hide who you are forever. She won't be able to tell her family that I'm her 'roommate' forever. I'm rambling now but I'm drunk so I don't care." She looked at Cagalli. "I'll never replace her biological family Cagalli, but with time, I think we would make our own family…maybe."_

_ "If the two of you truly love each other, then I don't see why not. But first things first, yeah?"_

_ "Yeah. I'm going to go sit with her I think. You coming?"_

_ "No, I'll sit here a little while longer."_

_ "Ok. Thanks for checking on me Cagalli."_

_ "Anytime Lacus, now go be the dominant woman in the relationship."_

_ Lacus chuckled at Cagalli's audacity. "A role I never thought I'd play."_

_ Cagalli smiled as her friend went back inside and returned to her own thoughts. __And Rau tomorrow…it never ends._


End file.
